Starting conversations with young people about topics like relationships, sex, inclusivity and respect can sometimes feel daunting - especially if you’ve not been taught these topics yourself.
Here at School of Sexuality Education we find that lots of adults tell us they haven’t received high quality relationships and sex education themselves, and what they did learn as a child often left them with more questions than answers.
Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or youth leader, facilitating open dialogue is essential for safeguarding, and empowering young people.
Our unembarrassable team of experts have put together their five top tips to help you get started.
5 Top Tips for Talking to Young People About Tricky Topics
Here are five practical tips to help keep tricky conversations meaningful and approachable.
1. Create a Safe and Judgement-Free Space
Young people are more likely to open up if they feel safe and respected. Let them know no question is “too silly” and no feeling is “wrong.” This will let young people know they can come to you and their questions or concerns will be taken seriously and heard. A great way to do this can also be by validating any feelings even if it’s just noting them or reflecting them back to show that it’s okay to have them. For example, “this topic seems to be making you angry / defensive / uncomfortable. Sometimes important things can make us feel that way”.
For parents: If possible, choose a quiet moment when you’re alone together, like a car ride or a walk. Always avoid using an accusatory tone, even if you’re concerned. - but also normalise having small and regular conversations rather than one big “talk”.
For educators: Establish classroom ground rules about respect and confidentiality during discussions.
We want to avoid shutting conversations down even if we find them alarming. Consider, are we alarmed because the comment is harmful or could that be because of our value judgement?
2. Listen More Than You Talk
When a young person brings up a difficult topic, resist the urge to immediately “fix” or provide advice. Instead, ask open-ended questions and genuinely listen to their perspective. It can also be useful to check a young person’s understanding of something you want to address, or after you have explained it.
Say this: “What do you think about that?” or “How does that make you feel?”
Avoid this: “Here’s what you should do…” or “That’s not something to worry about.”
By listening first, you’re showing that their thoughts and feelings matter. We are also not making choices on their behalf, instead empowering them to make informed decisions about their health and wellbeing.
3. Use Language and Examples that respond to young people’s contextual and developmental needs
It’s important to tailor your message to their age and level of understanding. Younger children benefit from simple explanations, while teenagers welcome more nuance and detail.
For younger kids: “Being kind and including others helps everyone feel happy and safe.”
For older teens: “Everyone deserves respect, kindness and to feel safe. People we’re in relationships with should be offering us this and we should do the same for others.”
Relating these ideas to their real-life experiences—like friendships, TV or social media interactions—can make the conversation more relatable.
4. Be Honest and Open About Your Own Learning
If you’re not sure how to answer a tricky question, it’s okay to admit it. Young people respect authenticity and appreciate that learning is a lifelong process. It can be tempting to show young people that we have all of the answers , particularly if that’s a role we’re used to taking. But often just saying “I don’t know” can be empowering for young people to hear and help build trust around these conversations.
Say this: “That’s a great question. Let’s look it up together,” or “I’m learning about this too.”
Avoid this: Giving a rushed or vague answer just to move on.
Being vulnerable about your own journey can encourage them to approach challenges with curiosity rather than fear.
5. Model Inclusive Behaviour and Values
Your actions often speak louder than words. If you want to teach inclusivity, respect, and empathy, make sure your own behaviour reflects these values.
Celebrate diversity in your community and media choices.
Avoid stereotypes and language that might alienate or hurt others.
Address your own mistakes openly: “I realise I said something that might be hurtful. Here’s how I’ll do better.”
Young people learn best when they see adults practicing what they preach.
Talking about tricky topics isn’t always easy, but it’s one of the most impactful ways to shape a young person’s understanding of the world.
By creating a safe space, listening deeply, using relatable language, being honest, and modelling inclusivity, you can help them navigate these conversations with confidence and compassion.
Want to expand the conversation? Our book is a great resource for any parent, caregiver or young person. It offers a positive, practical and empowering guide for teenagers, tackling sex and relationships in an inclusive and non-judgemental way Sex Ed: An Inclusive Teenage Guide to Sex and Relationships.
