Our take on the government’s Violence Against Women and Girls Strategy

The UK government published its VAWG strategy “Freedom from violence and abuse: a cross-governmental strategy” in December 2025 as a proposal to deliver its manifesto pledge to halve VAWG within 10 years. The strategy has three main pillars: prevention and early intervention, pursuit of perpetrators and victim support. In 2025, we collaborated with the End Violence Against Women Coalition and 60+ other expert VAWG organisations to set our expectations for the government strategy.

The strategy is a welcome shift in the right direction with a positive emphasis on preventing harm by educating children and young people. The importance of tackling online harms is prominent with key themes called out, including a focus on AI and banning nudification apps which we covered on our blog. Many forms of VAWG are reflected in the strategy and there is a clear commitment to long-term behaviour change shaped by experts. We are pleased to see the recognition of and commitment to specialist support organisations serving their own communities (“by and for” services) and encouraged by the inclusion of health, a topic that has previously been overlooked.

As a charity working with young people for almost a decade, we have hands-on experience navigating VAWG in schools. While we are encouraged by these positive aspects of the strategy, we have broader concerns about the strategy as a whole. 

I) It feels like a big wish list, rather than an actionable plan

The strategy feels like an ambitious wish list, rather than an actionable plan that will make a difference on the ground. We’re unsure about the long-term sustainability of funding the strategy and concerned that funding isn’t being directed to ‘by and for’ services that are already delivering support to their own communities. Wider systemic challenges within education, like funding disparities and workplace pressures, don’t seem to be recognised and we haven’t noticed any mentions of young people’s voices being centred in the development of the strategy.

We believe it’s crucial to consider and incorporate the perspectives of those the strategy is designed to serve. After almost a decade of working with young people and schools, we recognise how important it is to listen to first-hand experiences and incorporate these into any plans for change to ensure it truly connects with their needs. From what we can see, the strategy overlooks crucial information about those affected, not considering key details such as how the strategy will work for teachers who haven’t received training, and are often overworked and underpaid.

2) Investment in new pilot programmes vs. funding expert organisations with years of experience

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We are also frustrated to see the strategy investing in new pilot teacher training programmes, rather than investing in the established, evidence-based programmes delivered by existing specialist organisations (like us!). We, along with many other expert organisations, have spent years developing our services based on our extensive experience working directly with young people and educators.

The new strategy is missing a key opportunity to tap into the existing wealth of insights from teams on the ground. The strategy is taking credit for its prevention aims, but not giving credit to the many amazing organisations that have been calling for this for decades.

We believe the strategy should embed RSHE training into initial teacher training, but also needs to recognise the existing pressures on teachers. There is a clear need to engage existing specialist services to deliver RSHE, rather than placing the responsibility on teachers alone. 

3) Not addressing the nuances around intersectional identities

The strategy fails to acknowledge the nuances around the intersectional identities of people who will be using these services, notably the exclusion of migrants, people of colour and disabled folk. We’ve noticed that it also fails to address the intersection of sexual violence and race, transphobia and ableism, and anti-racism isn’t mentioned anywhere. 

We believe that understanding and challenging the intersecting power relations that exist in our society is crucial for creating meaningful change. Without approaching VAWG from this perspective, a huge proportion of society who are disproportionately impacted by sexual violence will be overlooked and their needs will remain unmet. 

How School of Sexuality Education is already delivering on the VAWG strategy’s key aims

Prevention

For a decade, we have provided sessions that challenge misogyny and embedded sexual violence including training for teachers and workshops for young people. All of our workshops are designed to challenge harmful attitudes and encourage critical thinking in ALL students (not just boys) due to the extensive internalised misogyny and victim blaming we’ve seen first-hand. Our spiral programmes explore,

• power and consent,

• pressure and coercion

• and how to build safe, healthy relationships and navigate conflict.

We also work with teachers to provide them with the tools to support young people in a non-judgemental way that challenges harm and avoids reinforcing problematic gendered stereotypes.

Victim support

We always signpost young people to support services where they can talk if needed. We recognise that while teachers and other trusted adults play an important role, they may not be able to provide the specialist support that some young people need. We aim to empower young people to access services on their own terms so they can feel fully supported.

All of our programmes encourage young people to think about how we can challenge victim blaming, including educating about where these ideas might have been learned because we know how deeply they are embedded in our society. Overall, a huge part of what we do is advocating for and empowering young people. We exist to provide them with the necessary tools to make safe, informed decisions that prioritise the wellbeing of themselves and their peers.

Digital harms

Our work focuses on building young people’s understanding of navigating online spaces through the core principles of consent, equality, digital literacy and their rights. For nearly a decade, we’ve been working with young people, academics, prevention specialists and schools to address and prevent digital harms. We collaborated on research projects with Professor Jessica Ringrose (UCL) and Professor Tanya Horeck (Anglia Ruskin University) developing reports, resources and guidance that schools can use to embed sexual violence prevention within their settings. Click here to view our work.

Speak to one of our unembarrassable team members to find out how we can support your school in meeting these objectives.

Containment over outrage: how to support young people in the age of rage-baiting

By Emma, Head of Policy & Research

***Content warning: discussions of sexual assault of under 18s***

In developmental psychology, there is the concept of ‘emotional containment’. It describes the process of being able to hold someone else’s - particularly a child’s - difficult feelings. It is different from offering comfort or from soothing or even distracting an individual from their current state. Instead, it means staying with them in their distress and helping them to process their emotions. 

Let’s think about an upset child, who has just dropped their ice-cream cone on the ground and is now understandably very upset. They are crying loudly. For most of us, our first instinct might be to rush to buy a replacement cone. Or maybe offer them ours or another handy alternative treat as consolation. A parent looking at the situation from an emotional containment point of view though, might approach things slightly differently. Instead of trying to fix the problem, they might get down to the child’s level and demonstrate looking at the dropped ice-cream, sharing in the difficult feelings with them. Perhaps they might remark to the child how upsetting it must be to have lost the thing they were looking forward to, labelling and validating the child’s response. It is thought that experiences of emotional containment from caregivers help children to learn how to regulate and process their feelings, building emotional resilience. 

The idea of ‘emotional containment’ came to mind while I was following the response to the recent sentencing news of two teenagers found guilty of several rape charges in Hampshire. Or rather, the need for emotional containment and the apparent lack of it came to mind. The news itself contains a lot of distressing details. Two 14-year-old boys have been found guilty of attacking and raping two girls, also teenagers. A knife was used in one of the attacks, all of which was filmed and later shared on social media. 

Image by Deeanna J

When it was learned that the two people found guilty of this series of sexual assaults would not serve a prison sentence, many expressed their shock and appall at the decision. I watched a series of responses unfold on social media, as various content creators crafted responses from this outrage. All of which is very understandable and very, very human. But it made me wonder what the effect of this outrage might be and where it stood with this idea of emotional containment. 

I wonder if, for at least some of the content creators, it brings about a sense of relief and catharsis. Perhaps even a sense of satisfaction at having shared their important viewpoint. I suspect that the outrage also brings attention and a greater audience. Even if this was not the creator’s main intention, we sometimes feel compelled to follow things that make us angry. But what might the effect be on the audience? Particularly for people who feel personally affected? How might this show of outrage make someone feel if they’re a survivor of sexual assault, a teenage girl or both? I think it might be alarming, scary and well… uncontained. 

So what could we do with that knowledge? Well, we might not be able to stop these narratives of outrage erupting across digital spaces. But for those of us with young people in our lives, it might be very achievable to provide at least a little sense of that emotional containment when it does. There are ways that we can practice this principle for children and adolescents in many of the roles we might play in their lives - from parents and carers to older siblings or neighbours, from teachers to librarians. 

For a start, we could acknowledge how bad things are without seeming to become overwhelmed by them ourselves. It’s possible to show that you know something sucks, but also that this doesn’t automatically make it too much for you. An important part of this might include checking-in with young people about what their awareness of issues like this is. When we all have access to such a lot of digital content, sometimes young people have a lot of awareness of issues we might assume is too ‘adult’ or ‘serious’ for them. Other times, they might be oblivious, focused on a completely different part of digital life. One way of finding out is to ask. Be curious about if and what they know about topics like this and explore any difficult feelings that might come up if they are aware of the issue. 

Another good principle is to make sure that young people know that any problems or issues they might have are never “too much” for you. Sometimes children and adolescents can avoid sharing things because they fear what an adult’s reaction might be. That might include them getting angry or upset at what they’ve been told. I’ve seen some really great examples of teachers who do this. They explicitly tell their students they are there for them if anything makes them feel angry, upset or scared, in a non-pressurised way. You can add to this by normalising getting support from other spaces. Let young people know that you are there for them, but that if they ever want to talk to someone who perhaps doesn’t know them so well, other spaces exist. This might include services like Childline, which under-18s can contact by phone (0800 1111), email or webchat. 

We can’t help but feel overwhelmed and hopeless in the face of difficult news. But we can perhaps help how we act on those feelings. In doing so, we might be able to help support young people around us in developing their emotional health. 

Emma Chan is a facilitator with School of Sexuality Education and a co-author on the charity’s sex ed book for teens. They are also a doctor working in psychiatry, with experience of working in child and adolescent mental health. Their book ‘Heads Up: A Parent’s Guide to Supporting Young People’s Mental Health and Wellbeing’, published on 1st June 2026 and is available to buy. 

Holding tech companies accountable for tech-facilitated sexual violence

On the 20th of January 2026, School of Sexuality Education officially deactivated our account on X, formerly known as Twitter. This decision was made in response to personal accounts of X’s new AI bot ‘Grok’ being used to forcibly and unconsensually remove the clothes of women and girls in photographs. As an organisation who serves as a preventative tool against gender-based sexual violence, we no longer want to be a part of a platform that has enabled exactly this kind of abuse. 

The harms enacted on X reflect a concerning trend in AI use for online sexual abuse. It is important to consider that previous developments in technology have come with new ways to perpetuate harms. Tracking apps can be used for safety, but also for manipulation. Social media can be used for genuine connection, but also to spread hate and leak personal information. In our collaborative research project with Prof. Jessica Ringrose, Prof. Kaitlyn Regehr and Betsy Milne, we found repeated patterns of technology facilitating harms like image-based sexual harassment and abuse in young people. Maximising visibility and spreadability are the driving forces of social media, which comes with great risk of reproducing and spreading harm. This is something that leaders in social media have a responsibility to actively regulate with the development of technology, to protect the rights of people who use their services. 

Action was not taken soon enough to stop the sexual abuse created by X’s AI bot. It took pressure from our government to bar this feature, although this came nearly half a year after first reports emerged of ‘Grok’ being used to create deepfakes of women. On the part of the UK government and of those working for X, this was not fast enough, allowing for the online sexual abuse to continue, affecting many more people. It is clear that those with decision making power at X do not have the best interests of its users at heart. 

Image by Evie K

We did consider what it would mean for us to stay on a platform like X and act as a counter-voice in that space. But our focus is on the work we do with young people and educators, delivering in-person inclusive, anti-racist, feminist relationships, health, and sex education (RSHE). We use social media as a space of solidarity, to provide resources and to raise awareness of key issues surrounding RSHE. This does not work in an unregulated space full of hate, misinformation, and mischaracterisation, especially when this very abuse isn’t held accountable. A big part of our work is teaching empathy, equality, and accountability, which a platform like X has repeatedly shown it does not seem to value.

Many educators and caregivers can find the news about platforms like X and AI usage particularly alarming, and we are right to be concerned. Our concern is what makes us hold these tech companies accountable, and demand action from our elected representatives. But in our personal lives, there are many ways we can reclaim our autonomy from these technological spectres.

Firstly, we must recognise that young people have a right to be online. Like any space, there is potential for harm. But our study with young people on their experiences online showed that it can also be an opportunity to access helpful resources, deepen relationships, and reach supportive communities.  Keeping them safe does not involve banning phones and social media. It helps school’s managements but erodes students’ trust and ability to access support. 

Secondly, we must teach young people how to be active bystanders. This means building their understanding of how they can look out for each other as well as themselves. Teaching proper media literacy assists this, helping them navigate online spaces safely and consensually. It’s crucial in preventing harm, teaching young people to be responsible members of their communities.

Finally, we must invest in inclusive, comprehensive RSHE. A key finding in our study, that RSHE is essential for young people to be equipped to navigate online sexual harm and abuse. Most importantly, better digital sex education is something young people are calling for themselves. They understand that knowing what their rights are and how harm is perpetrated allows them to become another voice who can identify when spaces, offline and online, are becoming abusive ones. When big social media giants refuse to regulate the spaces they control, our young people want the tools to self-regulate and keep each other safe.

Here are some things you can do to help equip your child to navigate online spaces: 

• Engage in judgement-free, continuous conversation with them about online spaces, their interests and concerns as well as harms these spaces may pose.

• Help them to understand these online spaces as not just social media but also as businesses with interests other than that of your child’s wellbeing. 

• Teach the importance of consent broadly to include uses of technology.

• Be open to considering your own uses of online spaces—we are all learning constantly as technology develops!

Speak to one of our unembarrassable team members to find out how our work can support you.

How we quality assure our work

Quality assurance is of paramount importance to us here at School of Sexuality Education. We believe our model - an external charity providing relationships and sex(uality) education - currently offers one of the best ways to provide this. Here’s why:

1. RSE is broad and needs multiple experts

Relationships and sex education is a huge subject area, ranging from consent and healthy relationships to puberty and sexual health. It also requires some unique pedagogical approaches, as the RSE classroom is distinct from other learning environments. 

Our team comprises qualified teachers, doctors, those with a background in the sexual and domestic violence response sector, refugee support, psychology and youth work. Many of our team work part-time alongside other relevant work such as completing PhDs in RSE-related research. We also work with world-leading academics in gender and education.

Our curriculum is co-designed by this team of experts, meaning all of the subject areas we cover are accurate and based on best-practice approaches. It’s also informed by input from our youth advisory panel, and ongoing feedback from young people during our workshops.

Image by Deeanna J

2. Our programme development process is an iterative one

We have a suite of workshops that our team is trained up to deliver. They then go into schools, deliver these same lessons repeatedly, and then come back together as a group to reflect on what’s working well and what needs improvement.

Not only does this mean that they become highly competent at delivering our workshops in a succinct and engaging way, but it also means that our curriculum is being constantly reviewed according to student, teacher and team feedback.

3. We're observed by multiple teachers, in multiple schools, multiple times a week

Teachers are always present during our workshops. This means they can provide feedback either directly to us, or to our lead school contact. Often, a member of our team will deliver the same workshops to five different classes across a day, meaning five different teachers see the lesson and can discuss together afterwards.

This provides a level of scrutiny that it would be unusual to see replicated in a regular school set-up. Meanwhile, we have a re-booking rate of 85%, indicative of the approval of teachers that see us in action!

Alongside this, we also have an internal observation system, whereby we regularly observe and provide feedback to colleagues to help them continually develop their classroom practice.

4. We have greater capacity to discuss, reflect and develop.

Unlike an in-house member of staff, who will often be asked to deliver RSE alongside their main subject specialism, our team is solely dedicated to thinking about, discussing and reflecting on relationships and sex education. This level of immersion results in enhanced teaching confidence, knowledge and creativity of practice.

5. We hire facilitators with existing expertise and provide them with ongoing training

We specifically hire those with both a passion for RSE and existing experience in a relevant subject area - for example, medicine, teaching, counselling or youth work. We then provide them with training and shadowing before they begin teaching. 

This means that young people will always be taught by someone who is unflappable, knowledgeable and is passionate about the aims of RSE.

Speak to one of our unembarrassable team members to find out how our work can support you.

Tackling the rise of deepfake use among young people: why we need actual solutions, not ‘tech abstinence’

Recently, the Guardian published a story on the worrying rise of deepfake pornography and nudes in schools affecting predominantly young girls in schools. With the rise and accessibility of tech, we should be talking about the rise in deepfakes in schools and the very real harms it creates. 

School of Sexuality Education’s CEO, Dolly Padalia was quoted in the article and shared an incident of harm that happened in school. While it’s important to highlight the scale of harm, it’s also important to take a nuanced look beyond dramatic headlines. We must critically evaluate any solutions posed to tackle the issue of image-based sexual abuse in young people, including suggestions to ban phones for children or the introduction of new laws. As solutions go, we should be looking at how education can be used as a tool to combat sexual violence. 

Image by Evie K

We can’t depend on the law and policing to “fix” the problem

It is tempting (and a common approach) to tell young people not to share any nudes because it is illegal, but when we frame the law in this manner, we create a culture of victim blaming and inadvertently make it less likely for young people to come forward and seek support from adults by making them feel shame for using technology, or taking a nude, in the first place.

Sure, laws and policing may have their place, but can we solely rely on them? Especially when our current laws are failing to hold social media companies responsible and police are regularly found to be misogynistic, and have little success in solving cases of sexual violence. 

It was also striking how the article spoke about the confusion teachers felt about tackling harm from deepfakes — do we use exclusions or restorative justice approaches? Perhaps restorative justice is worth exploring seriously in our school system. An approach that centres the voices of victim-survivors can empower them to move forward, rather than expecting young people to go back into the classroom with the perpetrators of harm, who can be fellow pupils or even friends, and continue as normal.

Phone bans are not a solution 

As adults who want to protect young people, imposing a ban might make us feel better, but does it work? Let’s take the most popular policy proposal floating around in the UK at the moment: Phone bans in schools. One of the largest studies of its kind  in the UK found that school phone bans had no impact on sleep, behaviour or overall phone use compared to schools without a ban. 

The genie is out of the bottle now, so it’s highly unlikely society will return to a time without smartphones and AI. Even in a world where complete smartphone bans could be enforced for under-18s, eventually, they will need to learn to interact with these technologies in a healthy way. Bans may only work to delay the inevitable rather than provide any meaningful solutions to the issue of misogyny and sexual violence in our society.

And is it fair to remove access to phones for young people when this technology can give them a voice, access to information and maybe even a sense of safety, just because other people are trying to harm them? We should be targeting the people who do harm, and the companies that allow them to. 

Adults need support too

In response to The Guardian, the government dutifully rolled out a spokesperson from the Department for Education to give platitudes about “new funded resources to help teachers explain the law and harms relating to online content.” So far, we’ve been unable to find any information on which, if any, Relationships and Sex Education (RSE) providers were consulted in the creation of these resources, or even where, when or how teachers can access these. 

Of course, we welcome the government putting more funding into the education system, but we need clear commitments to fund educational approaches that centre young people’s needs. This could include high-quality teacher training, and even workshops for parents, so adults are better equipped to understand the tech landscape and support young people without judgement. 

Educational solutions

As RSE practitioners working with young people, we tackle these issues head-on in schools. We facilitate discussion to help young people make the link between gendered norms and sexual violence, we challenge victim-blaming narratives that normalise harm, and we encourage young people to be active-bystanders in a range of situations, from being in a group chat to witnessing harassment enacted by a friend. 

We also remind young people to trust their feelings about situations that make them feel uncomfortable, and to seek help from adults who, in turn, should take them seriously and offer help and support. All young people should have access to high quality RSE that covers topics like sexual health, consent, media analysis and healthy relationships that emphasise compassion and kindness, to prevent harm from happening.

The Guardian article ends its piece by highlighting how a young person knew to seek support from an adult after learning about online safety in a PSHE lesson, with the simple statement that “education works.” And we agree. 

For more information about our work, email info@schoolofsexed.org.

Sexuality education as a human right: from moral panic to empowerment through education

A blog post by Lisa L B, following their master’s thesis

Human rights-based sexuality education is a fundamental right of children and young people, with significant implications for their health, wellbeing, and overall quality of life. It is critical because it facilitates access to other basic rights like healthcare, education, safety, equality, and freedom from discrimination. 

Over the last few years inclusive sexuality education, meant to encompass the experiences of LGBTQ+ people (here as an umbrella term for different sexual orientations and gender identities), has been increasingly demonised in UK media and politics, and framed as “transgender indoctrination” and a threat to children’s safety and well-being (Marshall, 2024; Setty, Ringrose and Hunt, 2024). In 2024, the Conservative government published a Draft Relationships and Sex Education and Health Education (RSHE) Guidance, intending an update to the statutory guidance, outlining the national legal requirements that schools must follow for RSHE. The draft proposed age restrictions on certain topics and a ban on discussions of “gender identity.” 

My master’s thesis analysed the draft policy, situating it within a broader context of growing opposition to inclusive education and global rise of anti-gender movements that threaten to roll back hard-won sexual and reproductive rights for young people. The research combined policy analysis and interviews with RSHE practitioners. I used the “What’s the Problem Represented to Be?” (WPR) framework (Bacchi and Goodwin, 2016) - a method that helps uncover hidden assumptions and power dynamics behind policies, and to evaluate its effect on people’s lives. 

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I found that, by failing to position young people as rights-holders, the policy is likely to increase stigma around sexuality-related topics and further marginalise LGBTQ+ identities and relationships, thereby causing harm rather than preventing it. Echoing concerns of civil society experts, including School of Sexuality Education’s response to the draft guidance, my study shows that the policy is not fit for purpose. 

I wrote my thesis using the then RSE guidance draft, which was opened to public consultation. Since this time, the final Statutory RSHE Guidance has been published (July 2025). While the final version differs from the draft I originally studied, my findings remain relevant and a timely reminder that we need a children’s rights perspective in RSHE. Many of the points experts were critical of have indeed been included in what is now the statutory guidance.

So, what do we mean by human rights-based sexuality education?

It is also commonly referred to as Comprehensive Sexuality Education (CSE) and generally understood as a positive approach that promotes scientifically accurate, age-appropriate, rights-based, and comprehensive information (UNESCO et al., 2018; UNESCO, 2024). “Comprehensive” means that it goes beyond basic reproductive biology and contraception to include topics like relationships, consent, power and gender norms.

The aim of this approach is not only to improve overall health, but also to promote empowerment and civic engagement. It is grounded in the notion that for sexuality education to meaningfully support and protect the rights of all children and young people, it must be inclusive and incorporate critical reflection on intersecting systems of power and privilege. This requires youth-centred and participatory pedagogies (teaching strategies or approaches to teaching). In practice, this can involve interactive learning activities, such as group discussions and opportunities for critical reflection, that build on students’ existing knowledge, experiences, and environments. This way of teaching helps make learning more engaging, relevant, and supportive of critical thinking (Berglas, Constantine, and Ozer, 2014). 

Human rights-based sexuality education requires the recognition of young people’s sexual rights (Berglas, Constantine and Ozer, 2014), meaning that everyone should have the freedom and ability to make informed choices about their own sexual and reproductive lives, while respecting the choices of others (Miller et al., 2015). The approach is underpinned by the assumption that young people are developing agency and the capacity to exercise their sexual rights in their own best interest as long as they receive the right information and support. 

Young people’s right to human rights-based sexuality education is firmly grounded in international law. It is established by treaties such as the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights (United Nations, 1966), the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women (United Nations, 1979), and the Convention on the Rights of the Child (United Nations, 1989). As a signatory to these treaties, the UK government has a legal obligation to uphold and protect this right. 

What did I find? 

I identified the age restrictions and the proposed ban on discussions of gender identity as the two main changes in the 2024 draft. My findings also highlight the underlying assumptions behind these proposals and their potential effects.

• First, young people are not positioned as rights-holders. The draft is based on the assumption that children and young people are innocent, vulnerable, and not developmentally ready to engage with certain topics. This positions children as passive learners rather than active and capable rights-holders. In this way, the proposed age restrictions are likely to foster a culture of silence and stigma around sex-related topics and questions in schools, ultimately undermining the preventative safeguarding function of RSHE.

• Second, the ban on teaching about gender identity is directly harmful to trans, non-binary, and gender-diverse young people, while also making rights-based RSHE harder to deliver. The draft assumes that gender is binary and biologically determined, framing teaching about gender identity as “controversial” and potentially harmful. This framing fuels the idea that such topics might “influence” children to question their gender. In turn, it reinforces the belief that everyone should conform to cisgender and heterosexual norms, i.e. cisheteronormativity, while erasing trans and non-binary youth and limiting efforts to tackle bullying, harassment, and discrimination.

• In contrast, the practitioners I interviewed viewed young people as sexual subjects and rights-holders. They all stressed the importance of intersectionality and inclusive teaching. They asserted that banning discussions of gender identity will not only harm trans and non-binary students, but that it will also make it difficult to teach about overlapping issues such as gendered stereotypes, sexism, gender-based violence, and the rise of online misogyny.

In summary, the 2024 Draft RSHE Guidance does not position young people as rights-holders. It risks reinforcing stigma around sex and sexuality, while upholding cisheteronormativity and discrimination. The 2025 RSHE Guidance, on which it is based, perpetuates these same problems. 

Image by Evie K

It also reflects a broader political shift in which social justice initiatives are reframed as extreme or dangerous. In this context, LGBTQ+ inclusive RSHE in England has been portrayed as a threat to childhood innocence, with the 2024 Draft RSHE Guidance positioned as a “normal” or “commonsense” response.

Ultimately, the direction taken with the new RSHE Guidance risks harming young people and undermining inclusive, rights-based education.

The case for a human rights perspective in RSHE  

The lack of a children’s rights perspective identified in my findings aligns with previous research (Daly & Heah, 2023; Heah, 2024; Pilcher, 2005; Setty & Dobson, 2023). Studies show that sexuality education in England has historically been framed primarily as a public health issue rather than as a matter of children’s individual rights (Daly & Heah, 2023). At the same time, considerable emphasis has been placed on parents’ rights to make decisions about their child’s education (Pilcher, 2005).
The way we talk about, understand, and relate to children and young people, often in implicit ways, has a direct impact on policy and how RSHE is delivered in practice, with very real consequences for young people's health and wellbeing (Heah, 2024). 

Treating childhood and adolescence as nonsexual or pre-sexual phases reinforces the idea that young people are incapable and incompetent when it comes to sex and relationships. As a result, their right to participation, as outlined in the UNCRC, will not be meaningfully extended to them (Moore, 2013). 

The human rights perspective reminds us that we need to listen to and involve young people in RSHE. Today, most are increasingly aware of the gendered and sexualised world around them, largely because of their (near) unlimited access to news, information, and sexual content online. They often have a clear idea of the RSHE they want and need, but are rarely consulted (Renold et al., 2023). In response, we must create space for a shift in power between students and teachers, adopting more participatory and critical approaches to teaching and pedagogy. When young people are actively involved in shaping their education, it is far more likely to be relevant and meaningful for all students.

Finally, a human rights perspective functions as an important accountability mechanism, reminding us of the UK government’s responsibility under international law to protect and fulfil the right to rights-based RSHE.

What now?

While the final Statutory RSHE Guidance have scrapped the age restrictions that were set out in the draft version, it is still excluding of trans, non-binary, intersex, asexual and gender non-conforming students, putting them at risk of further marginalisation and discrimination. Some LGBTQ+ rights groups are calling for the removal and immediate revision of the guidance for those exact reasons, although the feasibility of such a call to action is yet to be seen. In the meantime, School of Sexuality Education say they urge both educators and parents to do everything they can to advocate for young peoples’ rights within the current framework. Every child and young person should have equal access to rights-based sexuality education that genuinely puts their best interests at heart.  

Further information: 

Lisa is a postgraduate from Sweden with a joint master’s degree in Human Rights Policy and Practice from the University of Gothenburg, the University of Deusto, the University of Roehampton, and the Arctic University of Norway. Her work focuses on human rights and sexuality education, with a particular interest in feminist, intersectional, and rights-based approaches to development, advocacy, and policy. She holds a bachelor’s degree in Global Studies and has developed her academic perspective alongside work in civil society, engaging in advocacy and volunteer roles.

You can read my full thesis here.

References: 

Bacchi, C. and Goodwin, S. (2016) Poststructural policy analysis: a guide to practice. New York: Palgrave Macmillan. Available from: ProQuest Ebook Central (Accessed: April 9 2025).

Berglas, N.F., Constantine, N.A. and Ozer, E.J. (2014) ‘A rights-based approach to sexuality education: conceptualization, clarification and challenges’, Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health, 46(2), pp. 63–72.

Cammaerts, B. (2022) ‘The abnormalisation of social justice: the “anti-woke culture war” discourse in the UK’, Discourse and Society, 33(6), pp. 730–743. Available here

Daly, A.C. and Heah, R. (2023) ‘Mandatory relationships and sex education (RSE) in England—educators’ views on children’s rights’, Youth, 3(3), pp. 1013–1029. Available here

Heah, R. (2024) ‘Theorising relationships and sex education (RSE) as a children’s rights issue using a Foucauldian lens’. Available here

Marshall, H. (2024) ‘Beyond panic: navigating the tides of change in relationships and sex education’, Sex Education, 25(3), pp. 324-340. Available here

Miller, A. M., Kismödi, E., Cottingham, J., and Gruskin, S. (2015) ‘Sexual rights as human rights: a guide to authoritative sources and principles for applying human rights to sexuality and sexual health’, Reproductive Health Matters, 23(46), pp. 16–30. Available here

Moore, A. (2013) ‘For adults only? Young people and (non)participation in sexual decision making’, Global Studies of Childhood, 3(2), pp. 163–172. Available here

Pilcher, J. (2005) ‘School sex education: policy and practice in England 1870 to 2000’, Sex Education, 5(2), pp. 153–170. Available here

Renold, E., Bragg, S., Gill, C., Hollis, V., Margolis, R., McGeeney, E., Milne, B., Ringrose, J., Timperley, V., and Young, H. (2023) “We have to educate ourselves”: how young people are learning about relationships, sex and sexuality. London: NSPCC. Available here (Accessed: 2 May 2025).

Setty, E. and Dobson, E. (2023) ‘Department for Education Statutory Guidance for Relationships and Sex Education in England: A Rights-Based Approach?’, Archives of Sexual Behavior, 52(1), pp. 79–93. Available here

Setty, E., Ringrose, J. and Hunt, J. (2024) ‘From “harmful sexual behaviour” to “harmful sexual culture”: addressing school-related sexual and gender-based violence among young people in England through “post-digital sexual citizenship”’, Gender and Education, 36(5), pp. 434–452. Available here

UNESCO (2024) Comprehensive sexuality education: for healthy, informed and empowered learners. Available here (Accessed: 7 February 2025).

UNESCO, UNAIDS, UNFPA, UNICEF, UN Women and WHO (2018) International technical guidance on sexuality education: An evidence-informed approach. Paris: UNESCO. Available here (Accessed: 7 February 2025).

United Nations (1966) International Covenant on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights (ICESCR). New York: United Nations General Assembly. Available here (Accessed: 29 April 2025).

United Nations (1979) Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW). Available here (Accessed: 29 April 2025).

United Nations (1989) Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC). New York: United Nations General Assembly. Available here (Accessed: 29 April 2025).

Deconstructing Racism in the RSE Classroom: An open call to academics

Young people’s lives are complex. If we want to continue delivering education that’s relevant and meaningful, we need to further understand how racism and exclusion are showing up in classrooms. This is why we are issuing an open call for research collaboration with academics.

Harmful attitudes in the classroom

Unfortunately, homogenising comments from staff are a regular occurrence for us. We hear educators suggest that a student’s “culture” or religion is a barrier to learning, while rarely being able to explain what they mean. Whole communities are spoken about as if they are one voice, and differences within them are ignored.

This matters because RSE isn’t just another subject. It’s about preparing young people for life, helping them form meaningful relationships, and supporting their lifelong sexual and reproductive health. When racism and bias go unchallenged, those opportunities are lost.

Why we need research now

Image by Evie K

There is very little research on how educators’ cultural competencies, or lack of them, affect young people’s experiences in RSE. What guidance does exist often falls back on broad-brush assumptions, such as “what people of X culture believe.” This doesn’t reflect reality. Young people within the same community often hold diverse views, shaped by their own identities, families, and experiences.

If we don’t investigate and address these issues, we risk leaving the needs of marginalised young people unmet. The harm can last a lifetime.

Our call to action

That’s why we’re launching an open call for academics to collaborate with us. We’re looking for researchers who want to take an activist approach: reflexive, dynamic, and committed to generating practical recommendations we can use immediately.

As a small charity, we can act fast. We work in both rural and urban schools across the UK, in high-need communities and SEND provisions. We are in classrooms every day, hearing directly from young people. 

This gives us both the access and the responsibility to make change.

Through this collaboration, we want to:

• raise awareness of harmful attitudes and practices we see daily;

• give educators tools to deconstruct racist ideas and challenge them in their own practice;

• encourage educators to stop making assumptions and start listening to young people, even when that means confronting internalised racism.

Join us

We believe this work has the power to transform RSE.

If you are an academic interested in joining this project, we invite you to submit a short proposal (up to 500 words) by the end of October 2025 to: info@schoolofsexed.org

For an informal chat, you can contact Emma via emma@schoolofsexed.org.

Talking About Harm: Why Nuance Matters in RSE

A recent Guardian article explored the rise of choking during sex. The views that were most prominently centred in this piece included those that portrayed this as a ‘horrifying’ practice, one where there is ‘no safe way to do it’.

The piece has led to strong reactions, prompting comments from the public with concerns about choking being ‘normalised’ for young people and worries about expectations in intimate relationships.

At School of Sexuality Education, we welcome serious journalism that explores sexuality and sex - including work that draws attention to potential harms. However, we often find that reporting focuses on one specific act rather than the surrounding attitudes and practices that drive the actual harm. This misses the point and undermines the work of educators striving to keep young people safe. Nuance matters when we talk about harm. 

Shame-free, harm prevention-focused Relationships and Sexuality Education (RSE) can be part of the solution.

Sensationalism doesn’t educate

Framing certain sexual acts as inherently dangerous or harmful, without context, can stoke fear and capture the audience’s attention. But fear is not the basis for good education. What’s often missing from these narratives is the why. Why do some people engage in certain sexual behaviours? Why are some harmed, while others are not? And crucially, how can young people be supported to explore sex safely and communicate clearly?

Safelives (2022) found that some students had a perception that their school feel they are not mature enough to engage in discussions of sexual harassment and violence. This, despite the issue being a very real concern for them.

As an RSE charity, we work with thousands of students across the UK every year, helping them to build the skills they need to communicate consent and boundaries. What we know from experience and evidence is this: it’s not just a particular act that causes harm, it’s the communication and attitudes around it.

A sense of entitlement to sex and another’s body, lack of regard for a partner’s pleasure or comfort, and power imbalances leading to coercion are the factors we should focus on addressing and educating people about. In our workshops with young people, we focus on the importance of communication around consent and pleasure. We make it clear that this is central to any kind of sex, sexual touching, or other sexual behaviour. Without that focus, we’re not helping young people stay safe. We’re just telling them what not to do, without explaining why or taking time to understand their perspective and cultures.

Porn isn’t the whole story

The article suggests that pornography is to blame for the rise in “risky sex”, with little evidence to support this. While porn can certainly shape people’s expectations and ideas around sex, it’s not always helpful to see it as the only or main cause of harm.

It’s too easy to position harm-doers as passive recipients of media, rather than individuals accountable for their behaviour. It also deflects attention away from what we can actively do to support safety, like helping young people know how to talk about sex in the first place, through teaching critical thinking and media literacy.

What our programmes cover

Our RSE sessions are rooted in empathy, honesty and prevention. We explore:

• What consent really looks like (including what it’s not)

• What pressure is and how to ensure we are not pressuring someone

• How to communicate desire and discomfort

• What healthy, respectful relationships can look and feel like

Talk about harm

Sexual harm is real. It’s serious and needs thoughtful, robust public dialogue that raises awareness. But it also needs accuracy, accountability, space for complexity and an evidence-led approach. 

This report from Rape Crisis highlights the extent that young people are subject to sexual violence in schools and it is unlikely to be driven by ‘extreme porn’. 

We need honest conversations that include the voices of young people, educators, violence prevention experts - including those who are survivors of sexual violence. Relationships and sexuality must be taught in a way that prioritises safety and pleasure, communication, and care.

Reducing harm needs to be led by evidence-based practice, addressing the root causes of sexual violence such as power imbalance, gendered norms and entitlement. 

For more information about our work, email info@schoolofsexed.org.

Why Equity Matters in Education: Social Justice and the Fight for Change

At its core, social justice is about fairness, inclusion, and ensuring that all people, regardless of their background, have access to the same opportunities. Achieving social justice doesn’t just mean treating everyone the same. 

It means recognising the barriers that exist and taking steps to remove them. That’s where equity comes in.

Equity vs. Equality: 

Equality means giving everyone the same resources and opportunities. Equity, on the other hand, acknowledges that not everyone starts from the same place and that some groups face systemic disadvantages that require different levels of support to create a truly fair society. Equity means bringing disadvantaged groups up to the same outcomes of their non-disadvantaged peers. 

Nowhere is this more evident than in education. Schools should be places of learning, growth, and empowerment, but too often, we see young people being held back by structural inequalities. We work to tackle these injustices head-on.

What can inequity look like in schools?

Here are just a few examples of the social justice issues we come across in our work:

Discriminatory school policies – students from low-income backgrounds can be excluded from education because of strict uniform policies or the inability to afford school supplies. Instead of addressing the root causes of poverty, schools often punish students for circumstances beyond their control. 

A free school uniform policy guidance for schools is available on our website. This guidance is the outcome of a UCL Community Engaged Learning project and outlines how teachers/senior leaders can consider uniform policy in a way that centres children's rights and well-being.

Underrepresentation among educators – education should reflect the diversity of the students it serves, yet there are disproportionately few teachers who are visibly trans, queer, disabled, or people of colour. When students don’t see themselves represented in leadership, they may internalise the idea that certain careers or roles aren’t “for them”.

Illustration by Charlotte Willcox

A Eurocentric curriculum – from history to science and maths, the school curriculum often prioritises the contributions of European scholars while ignoring or erasing knowledge from non-European cultures. It is also not a requirement to teach about the British Empire in the National Curriculum. For instance, we often learn about Pythagoras and his Theorem, but do not acknowledge the mathematical advancements of Islamic, Indian, or African scholars who shaped algebra and geometry long before European mathematicians.

Young people fighting for change

While these injustices are deeply ingrained, young people have consistently been at the forefront of demanding change. Here are some inspiring examples:

Ruby Williams – a student from Hackney who took her school to the European Court of Human Rights after experiencing racial discrimination due to its uniform policy.

Student Walkouts Against Sexist Dress Codes – across the UK and beyond, young people have staged protests against school rules that disproportionately target girls and reinforce gender stereotypes.

Marcus Rashford’s Free School Meals Campaign – the footballer successfully campaigned for the government to extend free school meals, ensuring that children from low-income families didn’t go hungry.

Pimlico Academy Protests – students staged a walkout to challenge racist uniform policies and the school’s decision to raise the Union Jack flag despite student concerns.

Youth-Led Activism – groups like Kids of Colour and The Advocacy Academy are empowering young people to fight for racial and social justice in their schools and communities.

How inclusive RSE can help

One of the ways we can work towards a more just and equitable society is through inclusive, intersectional feminist RSE. By addressing inequalities within relationships, gender roles and power structures, RSE helps young people understand their rights, challenge discrimination, and build more inclusive communities.

School of Sexuality Education reviews Adolescence

The Netflix series, Adolescence, was released just over a month ago. As a charity delivering relationships and sexuality education (RSE) in schools, the show centered many topics that are important to us and our work. Issues like: sexual and gender-based violence amongst young people; how young people navigate healthy relationships; and online harms such as digital image-based abuse or online cultures of misogyny and Inceldom.

We really welcome the discussions the show has helped create. These are important topics. However, we feel that some important things have been missed in some of these discussions. Based on our experiences of working with students in UK schools, we reflect on Adolescence and some of the ways it portrays misogyny in schools. We consider the ways the series has been talked about in public, as well as what important messages are missing and what we can all do next to tackle these harms. 

Spoilers and warnings - This piece contains spoilers for the TV show. It also specifically addresses lots of the issues featured in Adolescence, in some detail. This includes things like sexual violence, misogyny and the murder of a child. 

There was a lot to love about Adolescence. In an age of ‘second screen’ entertainment - viewers often having phones or other devices open whilst watching TV - it was absolutely compelling. It was brilliantly written, acted and shot. There is something powerful about this show and it has managed to draw in a large audience and engage them around really tough subjects. Even the Prime Minister, Keir Starmer, has commented on Adolescence and the issues it features. Repeatedly. The show has drawn in many people and got them interested in trying to understand misogyny in schools. This is a really important and powerful phenomenon. 

Even though Adolescence centers around a very extreme and rarer type of misogynistic violence - murder - it felt like it did a pretty good job of showing how normalised and everyday misogyny and sexual violence in schools can be. The adoption of harmful, misogynistic and violent language and behaviour by young people - specifically boys and young men - is, in our experience, extremely common. We often encounter comments and ideas from students that echo these sentiments. A couple of weeks ago, one of our facilitators was told,  “She was kind of asking for it,” by a student. This was in response to a hypothetical scenario involving catcalling and sexual harassment in a school setting. The work that we do often involves unpacking and constructively challenging these sorts of ideas. 

We also felt very seen by the depictions of misogyny against school staff - something else we experience in schools through pupils behaving very differently towards adults in a gendered way. This dynamic is captured well in Adolescence. The second episode is set in Jamie’s school. In this environment, we see lots of examples of male teachers acting in a domineering way - aggressively shouting at students to get them to behave. 

Our facilitator, Emma, was particularly struck by this aspect. They described the figure of the ‘shouty man teacher’ seen several times in the second episode as ‘very familiar’, likening it to their experiences of being in schools, where an authoritative senior teacher - usually a man - will turn up to shout for order in an unruly classroom, then disappear.

The way in which boys can behave differently to women who are authority figures in their lives and the way misogyny is enacted through this is shown throughout Adolescence. We see students talk disparagingly about women teachers in the corridor on several occasions - for example, “What the fuck’s she on?” from one student after being told to tuck his school shirt in, or the angry response from a male pupil who Mrs Fenumore briefly interacts with whilst leading the police officers through the canteen. In the third episode, we see Jamie adopt some of this misogynistic behaviour towards Briony Ariston - a psychologist and one of the few female characters in Adolescence who we get to hear from at length. He shouts and threatens, at one point yelling, “You don’t tell me what to do, get that into your little head.” When eventually a member of the facility staff comes in, this seems to echo the experience Emma described in schools - an authoritative man coming in to deal with challenge from boys, using masculinity to make them submissive.

Illustration by Hannah Brown

Adolescence portrays some really important issues in a way that feels very authentic to us as practitioners working with youth in UK schools. But the way the public have spoken about it has been quite frustrating to us, as an organisation trying to address sexual and gender-based violence amongst young people. We will now consider where we feel Adolescence falls short - or at least, where the public discussion around it has. 

One thing we feel very strongly is that, while Adolescence has been a great way of getting adults’ attention and interest in the issues, it is absolutely not appropriate as a resource for teaching young people about misogyny, relationships, violence prevention or digital harms. Netflix announced that they would be making the series available for schools to show their students. We would strongly discourage schools from doing this, for a number of reasons. 

Although it is about young people, Adolescence is very much framed from an adult point of view. We see the story almost entirely from their perspectives. We only very briefly ever see young people interacting without adults present. Adolescence is a great window into how parents and professionals grapple with things like gender-based violence in schools or inceldom. It’s a great device for engaging the wider community into the issue of misogyny and violence amongst young people. But it doesn’t really speak to what their experiences are like or, for young people at least, what needs to change in their lives to address the harms depicted. Since the show was released, we haven’t really noticed young people themselves talking about Adolescence in schools. This makes sense, given that the focus of the show is not actually young peoples’ first-hand experiences. 

On a practical note, showing Adolescence in schools will be logistically hard. Although a miniseries consisting of just four episodes, this amounts to over four hours of viewing. Whilst a part of the statutory national curriculum, we find that RSE subjects are often not given priority in terms of time and other resources dedicated to them in schools.  It is often deprioritised for other core subjects, particularly ones that older students will be examined on. We will often be asked to deliver topics in a shorter time than we would like - for example, just 50 minutes for a workshop on sexual violence prevention or navigating digital media. In public discussions about Adolescence, some have made suggestions to add content to what is taught in classrooms to address the issues the show raises. Whilst we will always encourage reflection around how to improve the RSE curriculum, this discourse is not helpful if it comes without commitment and resources to help schools implement change. Access to a TV show alone just won’t cut that. We find Netflix’s announcement particularly interesting in light of the criticism DI Luke Bascombe, a police officer investigating Katie’s murder, makes after spending a day watching how the school operates: 

“Does it look like anyone’s learning anything to you? It just looks like a fucking holding pen. Videos in every class.”

It is likely that the experiences of Jamie and his killing of Katie will seem very distant from the vast majority of students in the UK, even if the misogyny and digital harms that underpin them aren’t. To make those links and reflect on how to challenge and change misogyny in schools, we need more than this video in every class. 

Though generally thought provoking, Adolescence doesn’t provide any concrete suggestions on how to tackle the problems featured. The concept of what exactly the problem is feels vague. Variously, “the computer”, “all that instagram stuff”, “incels” and “the manosphere” are positioned as the issue - without explicitly explaining how or even what these things really mean. Polina, one of our facilitators, described it feeling like social media was made into a “scapegoat” for Katie’s murder. There have been rumours about a possible second series of Adolescence. Polina is also a PhD candidate in media studies and commented that she would want to see “much more in depth engagement with what inceldom is” if this were to happen. She added that It would be important to see this much more directly addressed and unpacked. Because Adolescence doesn’t ever solidly commit to what could or should have been done to prevent Katie’s death. It is hinted at, at times. DS Misha Frank, another police officer investigating the murder reflects after the school visit, 

“All kids need is one thing that makes them feel good about themselves.”

We get the impression from Briony Ariston (the psychologist), Eddie Miller (Jamie’s dad) as well as Jamie himself that part of the problem is what ‘being a man’ means to Jamie, and the lack of regard and self-esteem he has experienced growing up. We also see Luke (DI Bascombe) making tentative attempts to spend time with and bond with his son, Adam, after a day of witnessing how cold the school experience can be. We get the impression that adults need to be compassionate and interested in boys and young men, but nobody says it explicitly. In the final episode Jamie’s parents are discussing Jamie’s actions and if they could have done anything differently as parents to prevent him killing Katie. Manda Miller (Jamie’s mum) says to Eddie (his dad), 

“I think it would be good… if we accepted that maybe we should’ve done [more to prevent what Jamie did]. I think it’d be okay for us to think that.”

There is a definite sense that things should be different, but no specifics about what that should look like. This is perhaps a completely reasonably (and realistic) conclusion to draw from a piece of television. But it’s disappointing that this general lack of commitment to clear, realistic and specific action has been reflected in the wider discourse. 

Another feature of Adolescence that makes it dramatically interesting, but perhaps also unhelpful as a reference for how to tackle gender-based and sexual violence amongst youth, is just how heavily it is written from a masculine perspective. A majority of the significant characters are men - and to a lesser extent boys. Whilst it was brilliantly written and acted overall, we felt that the women and girls were typically not written as strongly as male characters. At least one of the four episodes doesn’t seem to pass the Bechdel test. 

Perhaps this is largely due to the writing and producing team consisting heavily of men - and working together to produce an authentic feeling perspective of this issue. And this wouldn’t be a problem if we had a range of references and perspectives within our culture talking about these issues. But when it comes to gender-based violence, we simply don’t. In one of the few extended speeches given to a woman character in Adolescence, Misha (DS Frank) laments the fact that women and girls who have been murdered are never the focus of attention. 

We are concerned about this reliance solely on the perspective of men, as well as a disregard for the experiences of women and girls, which seems to have spilled over into the public discourse. Many commentators have focused on the ideas and opinions of men, some resting on the idea of ‘positive masculinity’ rather than ‘toxic masculinity’. We strongly believe that the answer to gender-based violence amongst youth is to openly engage them in discussion and critical reflection about the ways in which the gender binary creates and reinforces harm. By ‘the gender binary’, we mean: the concept that everyone is either a man or a woman; that men and women are inherently completely different from each other, often rooted in biological myths as an explanation for these differences; and that any harms arising from these gender differences are inevitable and ‘natural’.

Examples of the gender binary we see in Adolescence include the expectation that men always want sex and are also not good at expressing emotions - other than through anger.  In the discussions with Briony, the psychologist, we get the impression that Jamie feels pressure to make up and brag about being sexually experienced with girls. We also learn that he holds deeply negative views of himself, partly because he sees himself as “ugly” and unattractive to girls. It is not explicitly stated, but we as the viewers are left to draw conclusions that, after being romantically rejected by Katie, he felt compelled to respond with anger. 

A big part of the work we do around sexual-violence prevention is talking to young people - including boys and young men - and asking them to critically reflect on the gender binary. This includes teaching them that it is important for people - of any gender - to accept romantic and sexual rejection without pressure, coercion or violence and that expressing feelings of sadness or vulnerability is okay and actually very human. Centering the conversation around ‘positive masculinity’ merely gives them an altered set of ideals to put in the rigid boxes of how men and boys should perform to comply with the gender binary. It does nothing to create freedom from gendered expectations. 

Something Dolly, CEO of School of Sexuality Education, has said would be great to see in a second season of Adolescence is openly addressing the idea that ‘boys will only listen to men’ about misogyny or masculinity. Both in our work in schools and also in the public discussions around Adolescence we hear the idea that solving misogyny and gender-based violence is just about giving boys ‘good male role models’. Whilst it’s important that people of all genders are part of the conversation, focusing only on men’s roles perpetuates, rather than frees us from, the gender binary. It also reinforces the idea that women and girls have no authority or part in addressing gender-based violence, further perpetuating misogynistic assumptions. As we stated earlier, this is exactly the problematic gendered dynamic we see both authentically portrayed in Adolescence and in the work we do in schools. 

Adolescence is an original and moving piece of work. It asks important questions about misogyny and violence amongst young people in the age of the manosphere. It has done a fantastic job of bringing these questions into public awareness. However, as a piece of cultural entertainment, its use in telling us how we answer these questions is extremely limited. As experts in the school RSE sector, we hope that people are able to translate this awareness into action. We hope that the parents and carers use it as a prompt to talk to young people, creating spaces in their lives where they feel valued, esteemed and heard. We hope that professionals, politicians and policy makers take it as a call to action to open and specifically work to raise and address these issues with young people.

Adolescence is currently available to view on Netflix. For more information about our workshops on a range of RSE topics, including on sexual violence prevention and healthy relationships, contact info@schoolofsexed.org.

For more information about our training programmes on tackling misogyny in schools and non-educational workplaces visit our CPD page.

Pet Names for Private Parts: Why It’s Not Okay

A guest blog, by Charlie K

Charlie is a former youth worker, campaigner, and healthcare advocate. He successfully campaigned for political parties to include Deaf Education in schools, and runs a successful community group that supports the LGBTQIA+ Community with disabilities, chronic illnesses, mental health conditions, and neurodiverse identities. 

When I was a child, my mother told me to refer to my vulva and vagina as a ‘pee-pee’, and I always wondered why this was. Was it because the real name was so wrong or dirty that we had to use innuendos? Was it because she was projecting her own shame and embarrassment onto me? Or was it because that was just how she was taught by her mother? 

Throughout this blog, we will explore why it is that we don’t teach children and young people the right words for their anatomy from a young age, and the importance of correcting that for future generations.

Illustration by Evie Karkera

Why is it ‘socially unacceptable’ to use the right words for genitalia? 

It is in a young person’s best interest to learn about their bodies to protect themselves and others from harm. Sexual Violence Educator, Kate Rohdenburg, sits down with the young people in her classrooms and asks them to identify the parts of the body (Buni, 2013). 

"Face!" "Nose!" "Belly!" "Mouth!" "Toes!" shout the children, as they engage with the session. All of these features are so normal to us, yet there is still such a stigma attached to one part of the body that belongs to those with vulvas and vaginas. There is an inherent undercurrent of shame attached to these parts like it is somehow wrong to have one or to hold any feelings about having it, good or bad. 

The ‘shame’ that we are taught throughout childhood leads to young people being unable to communicate about their health or safety with trusted adults, and any adults feeling awkward or unable to discuss their bodies with potential partners or medical professionals. The Eve Appeal, a charity that supports people with gynaecological cancers, found in 2016 that over 65% of young people with vulvas and vaginas do not feel comfortable using those words, with 40% of young people continuing to use euphemisms to describe their genitalia (The Eve Appeal, 2016). 

The Origins of Censorship

Exploring the history of the anatomical names for our genitalia may partially explain why we don’t use the actual names for our anatomy, yet this is not to say that we cannot change this in the modern day. 

Both ‘Vagina’ and ‘Vulva’ derive from Seventeenth Century Latin, with ‘Vagina’ meaning ‘sheath’ or ‘scabbard’, an item that was used to protect a sword, with ‘Vulva’ meaning ‘to revolve or wrap’ (Rosen, 2024; Harper, no dateB; Harper, no dateC). The implication being that the vulva and vagina are secondary to the ‘sword’ it protects (Rosen, 2024). Outside of the English language, Dutch and German share the same name for the labia, the folds of skin on the vulva, ‘Shaamlippen/Schamlippen’. The literal translation of this in English isn’t actually labia however, it is ‘shame lips’ (Schaamteloos, no date; Schechter, no date). Dutch campaigners have been working to fight the shame, and instead change the name to ‘vulvalippen’ or in English, Vulva Lips (Schaamteloos, no date). 

The language of shame is not solely surrounding vulvas and vaginas, although they are the main focus. The nerve that provides sensation to our genitals regardless of sex is referred to as the ‘Pudendal Nerve’. The word ‘Pudenda’ which gives the Nerve its full name also derives from Latin, and translates to ‘thing to be ashamed of’ (Physiopedia contributors, 2023; Harper, no dateA). 

60% of the English language derives from Latin, specifically the neo-Latin era of 1500-1900 (Ben-Menahem, 2009, p. 5581). Subsequently, most language used to describe genitals derives from this period. Latin was the language of the ‘upper class’, with religious leaders and academics forging new works during this “scientific revolution” (Butterfield, 1959, p. viii). Unfortunately, people with vulvas were typically excluded from academia, and even if they were educated (which only the upper classes had access to), they would be looked down upon (McCallum-Barry, 2016). The conservatism of the era has formed the basis for our language today. It is no wonder then that there is a sense of embarrassment about genitals, considering a lot of the language we use to describe them historically excludes or shames them!

Censorship Today

Such a narrative in today’s society is perpetuated throughout TV shows, social media, and companies, with censorship on mentions of the vulva “not complying with guidelines” (Popat et al., 2022), whilst penises face no such restrictions. In 2007, the writers of Grey’s Anatomy were asked to omit the word “vagina”, and instead they coined the euphemism, “vajayjay” when a surgeon's character was discussing labour and delivery. 

In 2020, Family Guy was not allowed to use ‘vagina’ in a scene, and instead coined the term “cleeman” to avoid censorship (Popat et al., 2022). Additionally, social media apps like TikTok will remove videos of people mentioning vaginas, so, people use words like ‘virginia’ or ‘v*g*na’ to avoid videos getting flagged and banned. Similarly, if you wished to engrave the word ‘clit’ or ‘vagina’ onto an Apple iPhone, it does not allow it due to “inappropriate language”, yet ‘penis’ or ‘dick’ are perfectly fine (Tamblyn, 2014). 

Renowned illustrator, Liv Strömquist, expands on the language of vulvas and vaginas in her book, ‘Fruit of Knowledge: The Vulva vs. the Patriarchy’. Exploring the censorship, exclusion, and shame surrounding the vulva, she comes to one conclusion. The lack of accurate language and illustrations used for actual vulvas, not the barbie-doll vulvas that are often depicted in media, could be classed as “psychic genital mutilation”, in other words, the mental removal of vulvas in the societal zeitgeist (Strömquist, 2014, p. 39). 

The censorship and shame surrounding the correct terms for vulvas is so deeply ingrained in modern society, yet there are no good reasons to replace these. It is important to use the proper terms, not just to combat the shame of talking, but for the safety of young people, for them to look after their health, and to communicate their needs properly.

Why is it important to use the right terms to describe our anatomy?

Shame 

Naturally, we teach children that their penises and vulvas are known as ‘private parts’ for good reason. Teaching young children that their bodies are their own can establish powerful ideas around bodily autonomy from the beginning. However, ‘private’ is different from ‘shameful’.

Vulvas and vaginas serve important functions, from providing people with pleasure to creating new life. It is not shameful to own vulvas, and only by more openly discussing the actual names of bodies can we truly eradicate the culture of shame, and clearly communicate our needs.

Clarity and Communication

When I asked my friends why they believed it was important to use the right names for our anatomy, one of them said, “You wouldn’t call a leg a walky arm, so why would you call any other part of your body anything different?”. This sentiment has also been echoed by the American Academy of Paediatrics (2023) in one of their Child Abuse Prevention Month posts. Children and young people need to know the differences between an appropriate touch and not, and when it is time to report any unwanted interactions to a trusted adult. 

Miscommunication occurs when code names are given to genitalia. Young people must be taught the correct names for their anatomy so that they can communicate with any professionals if they have an issue with their vulvas or vaginas; so that they can tell any future partners what they do and don’t like; as well as understand their bodies. We will discuss child sexual assault later in this blog, but it is important to state here that when a child makes a disclosure to a trusted adult regarding their experiences, it is very easy to misinterpret if the correct names are not used. 

If a young person states that “[someone] touched my ‘cookie’”, this can have varying consequences if taken at face value compared to the euphemistic reference to penis/vagina. It is important to prevent harm to children and give young people the vocabulary to ensure their safety and feel empowered (Kenny and Wurtele, 2008, p.74). 

The communication issues are not restricted solely to children and young adults, however. When polling women* aged 26-35, only half were able to correctly identify the vulva, vagina, womb, cervix, and ovaries on a basic diagram (Eve Appeal, 2016). It is impossible to communicate clearly with those around us and understand our experiences when we are not given the words or the power to do so.

*Please note that we are using language here that is used in the poll, we prefer the terms ‘People with Vaginas’ and ‘People with vulvas’.

Safety

Sadly, research has shown that 1 in 3 people with vulvas and 1 in 20 of those with penises will be sexually assaulted by the time they are 17 (American Academy of Paediatrics, 2023). Unfortunately, these numbers are likely higher as young people may feel ashamed or embarrassed to disclose their experiences of assault - feelings we work towards combatting. 

If genitals are already seen as something ‘wrong’ to openly discuss, it’s no wonder people may be reluctant to disclose their experiences to trusted adults.

Health

If you have a health issue, you see a doctor and explain what’s wrong. You’ve tripped and twisted your ankle, you can explain that to your GP. You’ve bumped your head, you discuss that with your GP. But, when there is a gynaecological issue, lots of people with vulvas don’t know how to describe it, or might not feel comfortable speaking to their doctor about it. In a society that perpetuates the notion of shame surrounding discussing vulval anatomy, it is completely understandable why, but it does not have to be this way.

In 2022, a survey conducted by the UK Department of Health and Social Care (DHSC), found that on average, 84% of women* in the UK felt they had not been listened to by healthcare professionals. Although a similar percentage (85%) felt comfortable speaking to medical professionals about general healthcare concerns, only 64-77% of those surveyed were comfortable discussing a range of gynaecological and hormonal conditions (Department of Health and Social Care, 2022). 

Discussing anatomy empowers us to be able to hold open conversations and helps normalise our bodily functions. After all, everyone experiences health issues throughout their life in different parts of their bodies. Being able to describe accurately where you’re experiencing symptoms, whether in the ovaries, vulva, uterus, etc. helps get more targeted support for that area. 

*This is the language that is used in the study, we prefer the terms ‘People with Vaginas’ and ‘People with vulvas’.

The importance of teaching children and young people the correct terms for their anatomy cannot be reiterated enough. Not only does it aid in removing shame or embarrassment from the discussions, but it also promotes clarity in communications, as well as aids in keeping them safe and healthy. We need to be able to openly discuss genitals just like any other body part, it keeps everyone safe and healthy in the long run.

How do I talk to my children about their penis/vagina?

See our blog post here about Tackling Tricky Topics!

What we do

At School of Sexuality Education, we ensure we teach young people accurate terms for body parts. We never shame them for any words they have or use - for example because they are considered ‘childish’ or ‘rude’. But we do let them know that using factual and accurate language can be useful for keeping bodies happy and healthy. Our approach is rights-based, inclusive and trauma-informed. We support young people and those working with them to ensure everyone has access to a complete, inclusive and comprehensive relationships and sex(uality) education.

We facilitate educational sessions designed to make children and young people feel empowered to make informed decisions about their lives and the lives of others that they may interact with.

Regardless of the format, the School of Sexuality Education’s aim is always the same: to provide young people with the knowledge, skills and attributes to build healthier lives and develop a more equitable society.

Sources and Further Reading

American Academy of Paediatrics (2023), 10 Tips for Parents to Teach Children about Body Safety and Boundaries, Available at: aap.org/en/news-room/news-releases/health--safety-tips/10-tips-for-parents-to-teach-children-about-body-safety-and-boundaries/. 

Ben-Manahem, A. (2009), Historical Encyclopedia of Natural and Mathematical Sciences, Germany: Springer.

Buni, C. (2013), The Case for Teaching Kids 'Vagina,' 'Penis,' and 'Vulva', The Atlantic, Available at: theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/04/the-case-for-teaching-kids-vagina-penis-and-vulva/274969/. 

Butterfield, H. (1959), The Origins of Modern Science 1300 - 1800, [eBook] New York: The Macmillan Company, Available at: archive.org/details/originsofmoderns007291mbp/page/n7/mode/2up. 

Department of Health and Social Care (2022), Call for evidence outcome: Results of the ‘Women’s Health - Let’s talk about it’ survey, Available at: gov.uk/government/calls-for-evidence/womens-health-strategy-call-for-evidence/outcome/results-of-the-womens-health-lets-talk-about-it-survey.

Eve Appeal (2016), Why ‘vagina’ should be part of every woman’s vocabulary, Available at: eveappeal.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/The-Eve-Appeal-Vagina-Dialogues.pdf. 

Schechter, F. (no date), Stigma and Shame Lips: Interview With Florence Schechter, Director of The Vagina Museum, Available at: ellaone.co.uk/magazine/features/stigma-and-shame-lips-interview-with-florence-schechter-director-of-the-vagina-museum/. 

Harper, D. (no dateA), Etymology of pudendum, Online Etymology Dictionary, Available at: etymonline.com/word/pudendum. 

Harper, D (no dateB), Etymology of vagina, Online Etymology Dictionary, Available at: etymonline.com/word/vagina. 

Harper, D. (no dateC), Etymology of vulva, Online Etymology Dictionary, Available at: etymonline.com/search?q=vulva. 

Kenny, M. C., and Wurtele, S. K. (2008), Toward Prevention of Childhood Sexual Abuse: Preschoolers’ Knowledge of Genital Body Parts, In: Plakhotnik, M. S., and Nielsen, S. M. (eds), Proceedings of the Seventh Annual Collect of Education Research Conference: Urban and Educational Section, Miami: Florida International University, pp. 74-79, Available at: digitalcommons.fiu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1121&context=sferc.

McCallum-Barry, C. (2016), 'Learned Women of the Renaissance and Early Modern Period in Italy and England: The Relevance of their Scholarship', In: Rosie Wyles, and Edith Hall (eds), Women Classical Scholars: Unsealing the Fountain from the Renaissance to Jacqueline de Romilly, Classical Presences. Available at: doi.org/10.1093/acprof:oso/9780198725206.003.0002.

Physiopedia contributors (2023), Pudendal Nerve, Available at: physio-pedia.com/Pudendal_Nerve. 

Popat, S., Horwitz, R., Eilber, K., and Lee, U. (2022), “Vagina” is not a bad word: historical and contemporary censorship of the word “Vagina”, Journal of Urology, 207(5), p. e215, Available at: auajournals.org/doi/abs/10.1097/JU.0000000000002541.11. 

Rosen, G (2024), Why Do We Call the Vagina Everything but “Vagina”?, Available at: evvy.com/blog/censoring-vagina. 

Shaamteloos (no date), Vulvalippen, Available at: schaamteloos.org/en.

Strömquist, L (2014), Fruit of Knowledge: The Vulva vs. the Patriarchy, Translated by: Bowers, M., London: Virago.

Tamblyn, T. (2014), Apple Will Let You Engrave The Word ‘Penis’ But Not ‘Vagina’ On An iPad, Huffpost, Available at: huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/07/11/apple-ipad-engraving-sexism_n_5576866.html. 

So you want to work in RSE?

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to work in Relationships and Sexuality Education (RSE)? 

We asked some of our unembarrassable team for their expert insight on a career in RSE.

Working in RSE is a great job that combines unique challenges with really important and impactful work. It’s a big responsibility. RSE is a way of safeguarding young people and protecting their rights, ensuring the information they have access to is complete and inclusive. 

People often ask us how to get into working in RSE and what it’s like day to day, so we’ve pulled together some answers to some of the most common questions.

We’ve provided a mixture of information about working in the sector in general, as well as advice for people wanting to work for School of Sexuality Education in particular. 

What does being an RSE educator involve? 

All good RSE educators take responsibility for safeguarding and advocating for young people. They understand their position of power means they have the ability to positively change lives and protect young people from harm.

In the UK, relationships and sex education is part of the statutory national curriculums for 11 to 16 year olds. This means that schools have to provide education about a wide range of related topics, such as respectful relationships and consent, sexual health and period health. 

Much of this is provided by teachers. People who work in RSE through this route are usually qualified teachers in a core subject. They usually spend some of their time teaching their core subject and part of their work week delivering RSE sessions. 

Many schools choose to have some part of their RSE content delivered by external providers. This is the type of work that School of Sexuality Education does. Working for us involves delivering our workshops, usually in secondary schools to a whole class. 

Typically, you will be asked to deliver a series of workshops during the school day, to different classes. Each workshop usually lasts from 50 minutes to 2 hours. You might be delivering the same workshop several times during the day, or different workshops, depending on the school’s needs. We sometimes deliver workshops as assemblies too. 

There are also people working within academic research and/or who create RSE content for the public and professionals. We do an element of this work, but as a small charity very rarely recruit for jobs that just involve doing this. 

What kind of qualifications do I need to be a relationships and sexuality educator? 

Our facilitators have a range of backgrounds and professional qualifications - for example teaching, sexual violence prevention work, academic research, youth work, psychotherapy, and healthcare. There are no specific qualifications or training route. When hiring, we assess someone’s overall skills, knowledge and experience through their written application and their interview performance. We then provide in-house training - both initially and as part of an ongoing development programme. 

We are aware of courses aimed particularly at those who wish to work in RSE. Sometimes we receive facilitator applications from people who have completed them and describe themselves as ‘accredited’ or ‘qualified’ sex educators. Whilst we recognise that many people find these courses useful in getting started in RSE, there is no specific course or training that we either require or recommend to be a School of Sexuality Education RSE facilitator. 

I am interested in working in relationships and sexuality, but not with adolescents. Is this possible? 

We do occasionally carry out work with younger students - for example in Primary and Prep Schools. There is no mandatory sex education curriculum for these age groups (KS2 and 1) and the relationships curriculum is different from that for older students, so the nature of this is slightly different from our core work.  

We occasionally provide workshops to adults - including RSE workshops to University students and in specialised health and social care settings. Additionally, we provide staff training in delivering mandatory RSE or generally supporting young people around sex and relationship needs. 

However, both of these types of work represent a small amount of what we do overall. Our core mission as a charity is to support young people around RSE and most of this work is in secondary schools. If you are not interested in working mainly and regularly with 11-18 year olds, then a role with us is probably not for you! 

Who makes a good RSE facilitator? 

There are a few different skills we look for in facilitators. Below are some of the main skills and aptitudes we look for. Someone who: 

• Understands the importance for RSE in safeguarding young people and children. 

• Is a confident and engaging communicator, who shows that they would be able to present material to students in classroom workshops or in assemblies to larger groups, given the appropriate training. 

• Can demonstrate that they are passionate about inclusive RSE - for example, through previous work, volunteering or involvement in relevant projects. 

• Has realistic expectations of what working with secondary school aged students is like - and can demonstrate this through experience (paid or voluntary) of working with this group and adequate reflection on these experiences. 

• Is willing and able to name and challenge any discriminatory or harmful behaviour that arises in the classroom - particularly when it is transphobic, misogynistic or racist/Islamophobic as these are the harms we most frequently encounter. 

• Is able to learn and take on board feedback without becoming defensive. This is really important in terms of being able to develop your RSE practice and work collectively as a team!

• Is organised and motivated enough to be able to do the practical aspects of the job - like turn up to a new site on time and begin lessons at a school with an early start time. 

• Understands the nature of the role and our dedication to supporting schools in rural or hard to reach areas - which can mean lots of travel! 

When we recruit, we often receive applications from people with considerable experience in a specific area - e.g. has a decade or more in education, or postgraduate qualifications in a field related to RSE. To be a good facilitator you need to be a good ‘all rounder’ in all of the above. 

Do young people make good RSE facilitators because they just ‘get’ other young people? 

We sometimes get young adults telling us that they feel they would make good RSE facilitators particularly because they are close in age to the students we work with. 

We believe that people of all ages - including those who are over but close to 18 years  - can make really great facilitators. However, it’s really important to remember that often students view facilitators as very separate to them and the authority figure in the room. This power difference exists, even if you feel there is only a small difference in time between you and students. We believe that good facilitators are aware of this power difference and are comfortable challenging harm, to keep young people safe. 

I have a degree, masters or PhD in a field related to RSE. Will I make a good facilitator? 

Possibly! We need you to demonstrate an interest in and passion for inclusive RSE. Academic qualifications in a field like gender studies, sexual health research, psychology, sociology or similar might be a great way to do this. But this is just one of the skills we look for and it’s really important that you have all of the skills needed to be a great facilitator. 

I’m keen to work in RSE, but don’t have much experience. What would you recommend I do? 

First and foremost - try to get experience of working with young people, specifically those aged 11 to 18 years. We find that supporting this group is often extremely rewarding - but comes with very specific and real challenges. It’s not for everyone and if you want to work for us, it’s essential that you can demonstrate you have realistic expectations of what this will be like. 

Gaining work experience in education - for example as a student support worker or teaching assistant - can be a really useful way of gaining an insight into the UK school system and typical classroom dynamics. 

Relevant experience doesn’t have to be in schools, or paid work either. Lots of people who come to work with us have experience of volunteering in community youth settings, for example. However, we work in a broad range of schools, from  inner city academies to rural independent and faith schools, or specialist provisions for students with special needs or who have been permanently excluded from mainstream education. The more that you can demonstrate that you understand the realities of working with young people in a broad range of educational settings, the better. 

Interested in working with School of Sexuality Education?
Any open roles we have are posted here and we also share new opportunities on our social media channels, follow us on Instagram and LinkedIn to stay informed.

Tackling tricky topics

Starting conversations with young people about topics like relationships, sex, inclusivity and respect can sometimes feel daunting - especially if you’ve not been taught these topics yourself. 

Here at School of Sexuality Education we find that lots of adults tell us they haven’t received high quality relationships and sex education themselves, and what they did learn as a child often left them with more questions than answers. 

Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or youth leader, facilitating open dialogue is essential for safeguarding, and empowering young people.

Our unembarrassable team of experts have put together their five top tips to help you get started. 

5 Top Tips for Talking to Young People About Tricky Topics

Here are five practical tips to help keep tricky conversations meaningful and approachable.

1. Create a Safe and Judgement-Free Space

Young people are more likely to open up if they feel safe and respected. Let them know no question is “too silly” and no feeling is “wrong.” This will let young people know they can come to you and their questions or concerns will be taken seriously and heard. A great way to do this can also be by validating any feelings even if it’s just noting them or reflecting them back to show that it’s okay to have them. For example, “this topic seems to be making you angry / defensive / uncomfortable. Sometimes important things can make us feel that way”. 

For parents: If possible, choose a quiet moment when you’re alone together, like a car ride or a walk. Always avoid using an accusatory tone, even if you’re concerned. - but also normalise having small and regular conversations rather than one big “talk”.  

For educators: Establish classroom ground rules about respect and confidentiality during discussions.

We want to avoid shutting conversations down even if we find them alarming. Consider, are we alarmed because the comment is harmful or could that be because of our value judgement? 

2. Listen More Than You Talk

When a young person brings up a difficult topic, resist the urge to immediately “fix” or provide advice. Instead, ask open-ended questions and genuinely listen to their perspective. It can also be useful to check a young person’s understanding of something you want to address, or after you have explained it. 

Say this: “What do you think about that?” or “How does that make you feel?”

Avoid this: “Here’s what you should do…” or “That’s not something to worry about.”

By listening first, you’re showing that their thoughts and feelings matter. We are also not making choices on their behalf, instead empowering them to make informed decisions about their health and wellbeing. 

3. Use Language and Examples that respond to young people’s contextual and developmental needs 

It’s important to tailor your message to their age and level of understanding. Younger children benefit from simple explanations, while teenagers welcome more nuance and detail.

For younger kids: “Being kind and including others helps everyone feel happy and safe.”

For older teens: “Everyone deserves respect, kindness and to feel safe. People we’re in relationships with should be offering us this and we should do the same for others.” 

Relating these ideas to their real-life experiences—like friendships, TV or social media interactions—can make the conversation more relatable.

4. Be Honest and Open About Your Own Learning

If you’re not sure how to answer a tricky question, it’s okay to admit it. Young people respect authenticity and appreciate that learning is a lifelong process. It can be tempting to show young people that we have all of the answers , particularly if that’s a role we’re used to taking. But often just saying “I don’t know” can be empowering for young people to hear and help build trust around these conversations. 

Say this: “That’s a great question. Let’s look it up together,” or “I’m learning about this too.”

Avoid this: Giving a rushed or vague answer just to move on.

Being vulnerable about your own journey can encourage them to approach challenges with curiosity rather than fear.

5. Model Inclusive Behaviour and Values

Your actions often speak louder than words. If you want to teach inclusivity, respect, and empathy, make sure your own behaviour reflects these values.

• Celebrate diversity in your community and media choices.

• Avoid stereotypes and language that might alienate or hurt others.

• Address your own mistakes openly: “I realise I said something that might be hurtful. Here’s how I’ll do better.”

Young people learn best when they see adults practicing what they preach.

Talking about tricky topics isn’t always easy, but it’s one of the most impactful ways to shape a young person’s understanding of the world. 

By creating a safe space, listening deeply, using relatable language, being honest, and modelling inclusivity, you can help them navigate these conversations with confidence and compassion.

Want to expand the conversation? Our book is a great resource for any parent, caregiver or young person. It offers a positive, practical and empowering guide for teenagers, tackling sex and relationships in an inclusive and non-judgemental way Sex Ed: An Inclusive Teenage Guide to Sex and Relationships.

Shop With Purpose, Wear Your Allyship

Introducing Our New Store

At School of Sexuality Education, we’re committed to delivering inclusive, empowering education that safeguards and uplifts young people. 

Now, we’re excited to give you an opportunity to join the movement in a bold new way. 

Say hello to our brand-new merchandise store — a collection designed to celebrate inclusivity, promote allyship, and fund the work we do to protect and empower young people. 

You won’t find these products anywhere else; every print is exclusive to School of Sexuality Education.  

More Than Just Merch - It’s a Movement

This isn’t your average T-shirt or tote bag. When you shop our collection, you’re not just buying products; you’re making a statement and supporting our charity. 

You’re standing up for inclusivity, diversity, and equality. Every piece in our store has been thoughtfully created to spark conversation, inspire change, and show the world that you care.

You’re directly supporting our mission to safeguard young people, provide inclusive RSE (Relationships & Sex Education), and protect them from harm.

What You’ll Find in the Collection

Our products spark conversations and show the world you care, a daily reminder of your support for inclusion and accessible RSE.

Tees that speak volumes
Wear your values on your sleeve—literally. Our range of tops come in a variety of sizes, colours, and designs, all celebrating allyship and inclusivity.

Tote bags for everyday impact
Carry change wherever you go with our sturdy, stylish totes. Perfect for books, groceries, or your everyday essentials—and served with a side of social good.

Why It Matters

Every purchase you make funds our charities potentially life-changing work. Your support allows us to:

• Deliver inclusive RSE programs that empower young people to make safe, informed choices.

• Equip educators and communities with tools to protect and safeguard the next generation.

• Create a world where young people of all identities feel seen, valued, and safe.

When you shop with us, you’re not just helping us achieve our mission—you’re showing the world you’re an ally who stands for inclusivity and change.

How You Can Get Involved - It’s easy to make an impact. 

1. Shop the Collection: Browse our merch and find pieces that resonate with you.

2. Share Your Support: Post a picture of your new merch and tag us on social media. Use #ShopWithPurpose and #InclusiveRSE to spread the word. 

3. Inspire Others: Encourage friends, family, and colleagues to join the movement by shopping our collection and supporting the cause.

4. Say it loud and proud: Something you want but can’t find it? Let us know! We are led by our communities, pop us a comment or message on social media, or email us with suggestions and ideas. 

Together, We Can Make a Difference

Your support means everything to us—and to the young people whose lives we’re working to protect and uplift. With your help, we’re creating a future where inclusivity is celebrated, education is empowering, and no young person is left behind.

Shop now and join a movement that’s changing lives. Together, we can make a difference—one T-shirt, tote bag, and mug at a time.

Thank you for standing with us, supporting our mission, and wearing your allyship with pride. 

Let’s make the world a safer, more inclusive place - together. 

Supporting Gender Non-Conforming Children & Young People: A practical guide

Guest blog by parent, Tara C-Y

““When my teachers talk to me about being non-binary, I feel like I belong. I help them to understand how I feel inside and when I help them, that means they can help me.””

— E, a KS2 pupil

Schools play a vital role in providing secure foundations for all children and young people to grow and flourish, and many schools do wonderful work with their pupils around inclusivity. But like most areas in life, there is always room to grow and explore inclusion further, particularly when considering the support needs of transgender or gender-non conforming pupils.

In our work delivering relationships and sexuality education in schools and universities across the UK, we have seen so much really great practice around supporting children and young people who are transgender or gender non-conforming (GNC). We’ve also heard from a number of educators and carers who really have young peoples’ best interests at heart, but are unsure or anxious about how to practically approach this issue. 

This is understandable, particularly given some of the sensationalist and harmful narratives used by some bad faith actors when discussing trans issues in the media or politics. This guide has been brought together to help professionals, parents and other caregivers to support GNC children and youth in a way that centres their needs. 

Gender non-conforming and transgender adolescents tend to suffer discrimination, stigmatisation and violence in schools, mostly from peers, but a lack of the correct support from teachers and caregivers can also result in trans and GNC young people feeling ostracised, affecting their performance at school (1). 

Case Study 1 

The situation

A non-binary student (Y10) was joining a trip with their school for History. They realised they would have to share dorms with the girls and that caused a lot of anxiety. 

The actions

Their mum spoke to the school to relay the impact of sharing dorms would have on the Y10 student. The school spoke to the parent and student to understand their needs and any particular concerns. They liaised with the accommodation for the trip to look at some options for the student - ensuring that other students were comfortable and all students were safe. 

THE RESULT

They managed to find a separate dorm for the student with their friends which they felt comfortable with, and liaised with their parents to ensure everyone was up to date and happy with the new format.

So, how can schools, parents, and caregivers offer correct and consistent support to enable transgender and GNC young people to thrive? There are a number of easy and practical steps that can be taken:

1) Respect the use of the young person’s pronouns: Always use the pronouns that they share with you and that they consent for you to share with others. If you make a mistake - acknowledge, apologise and move on.

When adults in positions of responsibility or within the family affirm the pronouns of the child or young person, this supports them to feel valued and accepted. Lots of well-meaning carers may have questions and concerns from the outset - but leading from a point of love, understanding and validation towards a young person is always a good place to start! Always be mindful that it is the choice of the young person as to when and how they share important aspects of their identity with the people around them. 

Although schools still have a responsibility to ensure that the legal name and sex of the pupil is recorded within the admissions register, as required by the Education (Pupil Registration) Regulations (England) 2006, there is no legal reason for educational settings to refuse to affirm the pronouns of the young person. 

If you make a mistake with the young person’s pronoun, the best thing to do is apologise and move on. You can be a good ally by gently correcting colleagues if they get it wrong, too. 

2) Challenge transphobic bullying and gender stereotypes: Use the lived experience of GNC or trans children and young people to inform your work culture, classroom and community.

Research by Stonewall shows that only 8% of primary school teachers and 17% of secondary school teachers received specific training within school on tackling language that is transphobic or otherwise derogatory towards the LGBTQ+ community (2). 

You can help to change transphobic culture within an educational setting or within the community by challenging hateful speech wherever you hear it. Working with organisations like School of Sexuality Education to access training can support you to be confident to tackle harmful language, and to have honest conversations with colleagues or family members about how to educate others (3). 

If you work within an educational setting, you can involve colleagues in reviewing your anti-bullying policy and ensure that pupils learn about it in an age-appropriate way. You can also ask for the views and experiences of GNC pupils to ensure your policies are informed by lived experience. 

3) Uphold confidentiality: This is so important for building trust, and also to centre the rights of young people to be entitled to privacy to keep them safe. 

Make sure that you are a safe person for pupils and young people to speak to by respecting their right to confidentiality. You can only share information about a young person’s gender identity where there is a safeguarding risk, or if they have given their permission for specific details to be shared with peers or parents. Being LGBTQIA+ is never a safeguarding issue in and of itself.

Remember to have a conversation with the young person about confidentiality and what this means in your role. The need for confidentiality also means that you may need to use their legal name when discussing a situation with parents or caregivers – reassure the young person that you are doing this to protect their right to confidentiality, not to undermine their identity or gender expression. 

Ensure that if you need to discuss a GNC or transgender pupil’s gender identity that it is done within a private and confidential space. The ramifications of accidentally outing a GNC or transgender pupil can be far-reaching and detrimental. 

4) Share relevant resources: This can empower the child or young person to feel seen and heard. It can also go a long way to educate and tackle stigma around gender expression and identity. 

Children and young people feel validated and secure when they see role models that are similar to themselves. In the words of Dr Ronx, “you cannot be what you do not see”.

Dr Ronx (they/them) is a non-binary emergency doctor, as well as an author of children’s books and a television presenter on Operation Ouch - a BBC science and health programme for young people. Sharing and discussing their work with young people is another way you can highlight trans and non-binary role models.  

You can also support pupils to feel seen and included by sharing relevant literature within your RSHE lesson plans, and by including work around notable calendar events such as Pride or Trans Awareness Week.

If you are a parent or caregiver of a GNC child or young person, you can share awareness raising resources with staff in the educational setting or school. Whether you are a staff member or parent/caregiver, be open to having honest conversations with colleagues or other parents about the reality of being a GNC or trans young person in school, and how difficult this can be. 

5) Offer simple and accessible support, and be open-minded: Simple solutions are often all that’s needed for effective support.

Supporting GNC children and young people isn’t and shouldn’t be a tick-box exercise. It should be approached with sensitivity towards the young person, and also towards parents/caregivers. Support also doesn’t need to look ‘big’, sometimes just asking a simple “How can we help you?” can enable fruitful dialogue, such as within the below case study. 

Case Study 2

The situation

A student told their form tutor that they feel uncomfortable with their name, and would like everyone (teachers and students) to use their shorter name. 

The actions

Their form tutor asked the student if they are happy for them to speak to other teachers and students on their behalf. They also asked if their parents were aware. The student explained that their parents were aware but that their grandparents were not and they were anxious about speaking to them. The teacher asked if the student was happy for them to contact their parents to let them know of these changes and if there was anything they could do to support. 

The result

The student said they were happy with this. The school was able to work closely with the student and caregivers to make changes in the way that the student was called and talked about to ensure the student felt safe and included as much as possible.

A whole-school approach of normalising inclusion for GNC or transgender pupils can be a reality if the curriculum is used to develop positive attitudes towards challenging and dismantling harmful gender norms. 

Be open-minded, and try not to assume that there are no GNC children or young people within your school – it is very possible there are, so be mindful and strive for inclusion even if you are not aware of any openly GNC or transgender pupils. 

These are just a few ways to offer support to GNC or transgender children and young people, but there are many more. Remember that it takes a lot of courage for a GNC or transgender child or young person to live authentically as themselves, and even more courage to take the first step in discussing it. Modelling acceptance within the classroom and beyond, demonstrating a sensitive approach, and validating a young person’s gender identity or gender expression will ultimately support them to be happier within their educational setting. 

Over the last few years there has been a media and political spotlight aimed at the rights of children and young people who are transgender or gender non-conforming (GNC). And more recently in May 2024, former Prime Minister Rishi Sunak released draft Relationships, Sex and Health Education (RSHE) guidance plans to effectively ban discussion around gender and gender identity within RSHE (4). 

Although schools can have a degree of flexibility in what they teach within their RSHE lessons, all primary schools must teach relationship education, and secondary schools relationship and sex education (5). The Equality Act 2010 places specific requirements upon local authorities and schools to prevent unlawful discrimination. The protected characteristics of disability, gender reassignment, pregnancy and maternity, race, religion or belief, sex and sexual orientation still apply in relation to children and young people in schools as they do in adult settings (6).

Despite some unnecessary politically motivated alarmism, the National Association of Head Teachers (NAHT) have clearly stated that there is no evidence to suggest that teaching pupils about gender diversity or related topics within RHSE has led to widespread issues of ‘indoctrination’(7). Furthermore, research shows that supporting gender non-conforming young people within school settings helps to foster feelings of inclusion, and reduces the need for trans and GNC pupils to have to ask for support (8). 

Simple acts of support, such as the practical steps outlined within this guide, will support GNC and transgender young people to develop a secure sense of self and emotional wellbeing that will enable them to thrive within their peer groups and in wider society.

School of Sexuality Education works to support parents and caregivers in showing up for and centering young peoples’ rights, including specifically around GNC issues. You can contact us at info@schoolofsexed.org if you would like to book training to support students.  

References

1. Horton, C. (2022). Institutional cisnormativity and educational injustice: Trans children's experiences in primary and early secondary education in the UK: https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/bjep.12540 

2. An Introduction To Supporting LGBTQ+ Children And Young People: A guide for schools, colleges and settings: https://www.stonewall.org.uk/sites/default/files/final_-_an_intro_to_supporting_lgbt_young_people_-_april2022.pdf 

3. School of Sexuality Education. Workplace Training: schoolofsexed.org/workplace-training 

4. Plan to ban gender identity discussion in schools branded ‘new Section 28’: https://www.thepinknews.com/2024/05/15/sex-education-guidance-trans-gender-schools/

5. Plan your relationships, sex and health curriculum: https://www.gov.uk/guidance/plan-your-relationships-sex-and-health-curriculum 

6. The Equality Act 2010 For Schools: https://equaliteach.co.uk/downloads/The-Equality-Act-for-Schools-2010.pdf 

7. Sex education review announced after MPs raise concerns: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-64892868 

8. Horton, C. (2022). Institutional cisnormativity and educational injustice: Trans children's experiences in primary and early secondary education in the UK: https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/bjep.12540 

What is the RSHE draft guidance and why should you be worried about it?

Shortly before calling a snap election, the government announced a proposed change to the guidance on how relationships, sex and health education (RSHE) is taught in schools. The proposal is deeply concerning - disempowering young people and introducing potentially harmful restrictions on discussing certain topics, all whilst failing to provide good evidence for these changes. There are concerns about them being implemented - and we are asking everyone who cares about inclusive, good-quality RSHE to act to protect it. 

As many other experts in the sector have said - the draft guidance is not fit for purpose. 

Below is our full response and guidance on responding to the draft consultation.

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On 16th May 2024 the government opened a public consultation on a draft guidance for schools around statutory relationships, sex and health education (RSHE). In the UK we have a long history of sex education in schools being used as an opportunity for political gain, rather than as a tool to support and empower young people. Many thought this was exactly what was happening here - and a backlash followed. Figures in the sector branded the proposed guidance as “irresponsible” and accused prime minister Rishi Sunak of using children as a “political football”(1). 

Days later, a snap election was called - resulting in reduced attention to the issue as the country and its press went into election mode. 

But why are expert organisations such as School of Sexuality Education concerned about the proposed changes to the RSHE guidance? And have the associated problems gone away with the prospect of a new government? We think not. Here, we highlight some of our concerns about the proposed guidance and why we all need to act to protect good RSE - even though there's been a change of government following the recent election.

As a charity providing award-winning relationships and sexuality education (RSE), we know that good provision in this area can be simply transformative to young peoples’ lives. Currently, schools must teach their students about a range of RSE topics - from fertility and contraception and what healthy relationships look like, to an awareness of the impact of pornography and violence against women and girls. This learning is supported by the current statutory relationships, sex and health education (RSHE) curriculum guidance (2), published by the Department for Education (DfE) in 2019. 

We will always continue to push for better and improved RSHE, which centres young peoples’ needs and voices. But broadly speaking this approach is having a positive impact. The Sex Education Forum’s Young Peoples’ Poll 2024 showed that 50% described their RSE as ‘good’ or ‘very good’ - an increase from 41% in 2019 (3).

Sex education in schools has long been a highly politicised topic in the UK. In the 1980s, in the face of growing support for the gay rights movement, the Conservative government went so far as to introduce into law Section 28, a piece of legislation which said that schools must not ‘promote the teaching of the acceptability of homosexuality as a pretended family relationship’(4). Section 28 was not fully repealed until 2003 and many LGBTQIA+ folks credit its influence as having negatively impacted their experiences of school and RSE (4). 

It is perhaps surprising then that when the RSHE curriculum was made mandatory in 2017, it had overwhelming cross-party support (5). However, with the input and support of youth, education and health experts it did indeed. Schools and others in the RSE sector have been using it as the basis for providing high quality, evidence-based and inclusive RSE since the current guidance was rolled out in 2020. 

However, the draft RSHE guidance shows a significant change in the approach to RSHE - although perhaps does not come as a surprise to those of us who have noted the rise of anti-rights rhetoric and the way that LGBTQIA+ folks have been targeted by it (6). 

So what are the problems with the proposed RSHE guidance changes? Well, there’s an awful lot to be alarmed by in the 47 pages of the draft guidance (7). But we have three particular major concerns: 

1) Firstly, the draft guidance frames RSHE in a way which is extremely patronising to young people and disempowering of their rights. It fails to recognise the potential of good RSE to transform, as well as the rights of young people to knowledge around their lives and bodies, RSHE is framed as a potentially corrupting or dangerous influence. The words ‘sensitive’ or ‘contested’ are used to refer to a range of RSHE topics - from sexual violence and gender identity to mental health issues (7). Whilst we would advocate for ‘sensitivity’ in dealing with all RSHE topics, this refers to how topics are approached, rather than the topics themselves. From our experience of delivering RSE in schools, we know that if supported correctly, it is possible for young people to have extremely nuanced and productive discussions around these issues. 

2) Our second major concern involves the proposed censoring of some RSHE topics. One example is a total prohibition of anything around ‘gender identity’, which it describes as a ‘contested topic’ (7). Many have pointed out that the language used around this is eerily reminiscent of the spirit of Section 28 (8).  

This approach is also in contradiction to that of organisations such as the World Health Organisation (WHO) which take time to define gender identity and link the importance of this concept to understanding related phenomena such as gender-based violence and health and mental-health inequalities (10). 

We further recognise this tactic as transphobic - in that it seeks to undermine trans identities and to further isolate trans and gender diverse youth from seeking support within schools. United Nations (UN) Women recognises the rise in such approaches, labelling them as ‘anti-rights’ (6). It is therefore disheartening to learn that Keir Starmer, the new Prime Minister, appears to have bought into this harmful rhetoric. During a visit to a school on the election campaign trail, he is quoted as saying he was ‘not in favour’ of ideology around gender being taught in schools (10). 

Age restrictions are a further area of concern in proposed content censorship.  The draft RSHE guidance stipulates that some topics must not be discussed until students reach specific age groups. Areas where proposed age restrictions apply include: banning discussion of puberty until year 7 (ages 11-12 years), despite the fact that fact that pubertal changes can start before this age (11); restricting discussions around the harms of pornography until year 7, despite evidence that 1 in 10 nine year olds have watched pornography (12); and a ban on teaching about STIs and FGM until year 9 (ages 13-14 years), even though students in this age range will have already been offered the vaccine against the STI Human Papilloma Virus (11) and that previous government guidance on FGM includes case studies of FGM lessons with year 4-6 students (13). 

There are several other examples of ‘age restricted’ topics in the draft RSHE guidance, on topics from sexual violence to online harms such as fraud, or suicide (2). 

Whilst there are some topics that it may generally be best to avoid with younger students, it is really important that those supporting young people understand and respond appropriately to their contextual needs. If issues like sexual violence or suicide form part of a young person’s lived experience,  it is very important that conversations around them are not closed down or shrouded in shame and taboo.

3) Our third major concern can be characterised by the lack of good quality evidence to support or justify changes to the RSHE guidance. The press release announcing the consultation uses the language of ‘parental rights’ and ‘protecting children’ (14). Just one source is cited - in relation to the proposed ban on ‘gender ideology’. The report mentioned is a controversial one,  which has roundly received heavy criticism from trans youth advocacy groups (15). 

No specific evidence is put forward to recommended age-restrictions (2). The draft RSHE guidance merely explains, 

‘Age limits are focused on topics which, even when presented in a careful and well-intentioned way, may inadvertently give the message to young people that they could or should be engaging in or exploring adult activities rather than enjoying childhood.’ (2)

The message is clear - these age restrictions have been suggested on the feelings of those writing the report of what is or isn’t appropriate. This, despite the concerns that we and others in the sector have voiced about these age-restrictions and evidence that suggests they are inadequate - as discussed earlier (11).

It is crucial to understand the needs of young people in order to provide them with good quality RSHE. If you listen to our youth it is clear that they want access to more, not less, open and honest information - which responds to their actual needs in an informed way and empowers them. As one respondent to the Young People's RSE Poll 2024 put it, 

‘Some stuff I had to learn on my own because I knew about it before sex education was taught [...] nowadays young children are becoming more aware so they should know sooner.’ (3)

We and many other RSHE experts are keen to work with the new government to help realise a vision of youth-centred and empowering RSHE. 

You can respond to the consultation here until the 11 July 2024. 

Further information

EVAW’s guide for responding to the Relationships, Sex and Health Education consultation.

Sex Education Forum’s guide to the RSHE consultation.

Amnesty International UK’s response to the draft RSHE guidance.

References

1. Independent, ‘Backlash over Sunak’s ‘irresponsible’ plans to ban sex education for children under 9.’ (15th May 2024)

2. Department for Education, ‘Statutory guidance on relationships education, relationships and sex education (RSE) and health education.’ (25th June, 2019)

3. Sex Education Forum, ‘Young people’s RSE poll 2024’. (11th April 2024)

4. BBC Three, ‘Section 28: What was it and how did it affect LGBT+ people’. (1st November 2019)

5. Sex Education Forum, ‘Busting the myths about RSE’. (23 August 2023)

6. UN Women, ‘LGBTQI+ communities and the anti-rights pushback: 5 things to know.’ (28 May 2024). 

7. Department for Education, ‘Draft Relationships Education, Relationships and Sex Education (RSE) and Health Education’. (16 May 2024). 

8. Pink News, ‘Plan to ban discussion of gender identity in schools branded ‘new section 28’.’ (15th May 2024). 

9. World Health Organisation, ‘Gender and Health’. [accessed online 25th June 2024].

10. Independent, ‘Starmer ‘not in favour’ of gender ideology being taught in schools’. (25th June 2024).

11. Sex Education Forum, ‘What the draft Government RSHE guidance means and what next’. (20 May 2024). 

12. Children’s Commissioner, ‘A lot of it is actually just abuse - Young People and Pornography’. (31 January 2023).

13. HM Government, ‘Multi-agency statutory guidance on female genital mutilation’. (July 2020). 

14. Gov.UK. ‘Age limits introduced to protect children in RSHE’. (16 May 2024)

15. Mermaids. ‘Mermaids’ response to the Cass review - In Depth’. (25 April 2024).