Guest blog by parent, Tara C-Y
““When my teachers talk to me about being non-binary, I feel like I belong. I help them to understand how I feel inside and when I help them, that means they can help me.””
Schools play a vital role in providing secure foundations for all children and young people to grow and flourish, and many schools do wonderful work with their pupils around inclusivity. But like most areas in life, there is always room to grow and explore inclusion further, particularly when considering the support needs of transgender or gender-non conforming pupils.
In our work delivering relationships and sexuality education in schools and universities across the UK, we have seen so much really great practice around supporting children and young people who are transgender or gender non-conforming (GNC). We’ve also heard from a number of educators and carers who really have young peoples’ best interests at heart, but are unsure or anxious about how to practically approach this issue.
This is understandable, particularly given some of the sensationalist and harmful narratives used by some bad faith actors when discussing trans issues in the media or politics. This guide has been brought together to help professionals, parents and other caregivers to support GNC children and youth in a way that centres their needs.
Gender non-conforming and transgender adolescents tend to suffer discrimination, stigmatisation and violence in schools, mostly from peers, but a lack of the correct support from teachers and caregivers can also result in trans and GNC young people feeling ostracised, affecting their performance at school (1).
Case Study 1
The situation
A non-binary student (Y10) was joining a trip with their school for History. They realised they would have to share dorms with the girls and that caused a lot of anxiety.
The actions
Their mum spoke to the school to relay the impact of sharing dorms would have on the Y10 student. The school spoke to the parent and student to understand their needs and any particular concerns. They liaised with the accommodation for the trip to look at some options for the student - ensuring that other students were comfortable and all students were safe.
THE RESULT
They managed to find a separate dorm for the student with their friends which they felt comfortable with, and liaised with their parents to ensure everyone was up to date and happy with the new format.
So, how can schools, parents, and caregivers offer correct and consistent support to enable transgender and GNC young people to thrive? There are a number of easy and practical steps that can be taken:
1) Respect the use of the young person’s pronouns: Always use the pronouns that they share with you and that they consent for you to share with others. If you make a mistake - acknowledge, apologise and move on.
When adults in positions of responsibility or within the family affirm the pronouns of the child or young person, this supports them to feel valued and accepted. Lots of well-meaning carers may have questions and concerns from the outset - but leading from a point of love, understanding and validation towards a young person is always a good place to start! Always be mindful that it is the choice of the young person as to when and how they share important aspects of their identity with the people around them.
Although schools still have a responsibility to ensure that the legal name and sex of the pupil is recorded within the admissions register, as required by the Education (Pupil Registration) Regulations (England) 2006, there is no legal reason for educational settings to refuse to affirm the pronouns of the young person.
If you make a mistake with the young person’s pronoun, the best thing to do is apologise and move on. You can be a good ally by gently correcting colleagues if they get it wrong, too.
2) Challenge transphobic bullying and gender stereotypes: Use the lived experience of GNC or trans children and young people to inform your work culture, classroom and community.
Research by Stonewall shows that only 8% of primary school teachers and 17% of secondary school teachers received specific training within school on tackling language that is transphobic or otherwise derogatory towards the LGBTQ+ community (2).
You can help to change transphobic culture within an educational setting or within the community by challenging hateful speech wherever you hear it. Working with organisations like School of Sexuality Education to access training can support you to be confident to tackle harmful language, and to have honest conversations with colleagues or family members about how to educate others (3).
If you work within an educational setting, you can involve colleagues in reviewing your anti-bullying policy and ensure that pupils learn about it in an age-appropriate way. You can also ask for the views and experiences of GNC pupils to ensure your policies are informed by lived experience.
3) Uphold confidentiality: This is so important for building trust, and also to centre the rights of young people to be entitled to privacy to keep them safe.
Make sure that you are a safe person for pupils and young people to speak to by respecting their right to confidentiality. You can only share information about a young person’s gender identity where there is a safeguarding risk, or if they have given their permission for specific details to be shared with peers or parents. Being LGBTQIA+ is never a safeguarding issue in and of itself.
Remember to have a conversation with the young person about confidentiality and what this means in your role. The need for confidentiality also means that you may need to use their legal name when discussing a situation with parents or caregivers – reassure the young person that you are doing this to protect their right to confidentiality, not to undermine their identity or gender expression.
Ensure that if you need to discuss a GNC or transgender pupil’s gender identity that it is done within a private and confidential space. The ramifications of accidentally outing a GNC or transgender pupil can be far-reaching and detrimental.
4) Share relevant resources: This can empower the child or young person to feel seen and heard. It can also go a long way to educate and tackle stigma around gender expression and identity.
Children and young people feel validated and secure when they see role models that are similar to themselves. In the words of Dr Ronx, “you cannot be what you do not see”.
Dr Ronx (they/them) is a non-binary emergency doctor, as well as an author of children’s books and a television presenter on Operation Ouch - a BBC science and health programme for young people. Sharing and discussing their work with young people is another way you can highlight trans and non-binary role models.
You can also support pupils to feel seen and included by sharing relevant literature within your RSHE lesson plans, and by including work around notable calendar events such as Pride or Trans Awareness Week.
If you are a parent or caregiver of a GNC child or young person, you can share awareness raising resources with staff in the educational setting or school. Whether you are a staff member or parent/caregiver, be open to having honest conversations with colleagues or other parents about the reality of being a GNC or trans young person in school, and how difficult this can be.
5) Offer simple and accessible support, and be open-minded: Simple solutions are often all that’s needed for effective support.
Supporting GNC children and young people isn’t and shouldn’t be a tick-box exercise. It should be approached with sensitivity towards the young person, and also towards parents/caregivers. Support also doesn’t need to look ‘big’, sometimes just asking a simple “How can we help you?” can enable fruitful dialogue, such as within the below case study.
Case Study 2
The situation
A student told their form tutor that they feel uncomfortable with their name, and would like everyone (teachers and students) to use their shorter name.
The actions
Their form tutor asked the student if they are happy for them to speak to other teachers and students on their behalf. They also asked if their parents were aware. The student explained that their parents were aware but that their grandparents were not and they were anxious about speaking to them. The teacher asked if the student was happy for them to contact their parents to let them know of these changes and if there was anything they could do to support.
The result
The student said they were happy with this. The school was able to work closely with the student and caregivers to make changes in the way that the student was called and talked about to ensure the student felt safe and included as much as possible.
A whole-school approach of normalising inclusion for GNC or transgender pupils can be a reality if the curriculum is used to develop positive attitudes towards challenging and dismantling harmful gender norms.
Be open-minded, and try not to assume that there are no GNC children or young people within your school – it is very possible there are, so be mindful and strive for inclusion even if you are not aware of any openly GNC or transgender pupils.
These are just a few ways to offer support to GNC or transgender children and young people, but there are many more. Remember that it takes a lot of courage for a GNC or transgender child or young person to live authentically as themselves, and even more courage to take the first step in discussing it. Modelling acceptance within the classroom and beyond, demonstrating a sensitive approach, and validating a young person’s gender identity or gender expression will ultimately support them to be happier within their educational setting.
Over the last few years there has been a media and political spotlight aimed at the rights of children and young people who are transgender or gender non-conforming (GNC). And more recently in May 2024, former Prime Minister Rishi Sunak released draft Relationships, Sex and Health Education (RSHE) guidance plans to effectively ban discussion around gender and gender identity within RSHE (4).
Although schools can have a degree of flexibility in what they teach within their RSHE lessons, all primary schools must teach relationship education, and secondary schools relationship and sex education (5). The Equality Act 2010 places specific requirements upon local authorities and schools to prevent unlawful discrimination. The protected characteristics of disability, gender reassignment, pregnancy and maternity, race, religion or belief, sex and sexual orientation still apply in relation to children and young people in schools as they do in adult settings (6).
Despite some unnecessary politically motivated alarmism, the National Association of Head Teachers (NAHT) have clearly stated that there is no evidence to suggest that teaching pupils about gender diversity or related topics within RHSE has led to widespread issues of ‘indoctrination’(7). Furthermore, research shows that supporting gender non-conforming young people within school settings helps to foster feelings of inclusion, and reduces the need for trans and GNC pupils to have to ask for support (8).
Simple acts of support, such as the practical steps outlined within this guide, will support GNC and transgender young people to develop a secure sense of self and emotional wellbeing that will enable them to thrive within their peer groups and in wider society.
School of Sexuality Education works to support parents and caregivers in showing up for and centering young peoples’ rights, including specifically around GNC issues. You can contact us at info@schoolofsexed.org if you would like to book training to support students.
References
Horton, C. (2022). Institutional cisnormativity and educational injustice: Trans children's experiences in primary and early secondary education in the UK: https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/bjep.12540
An Introduction To Supporting LGBTQ+ Children And Young People: A guide for schools, colleges and settings: https://www.stonewall.org.uk/sites/default/files/final_-_an_intro_to_supporting_lgbt_young_people_-_april2022.pdf
School of Sexuality Education. Workplace Training: schoolofsexed.org/workplace-training
Plan to ban gender identity discussion in schools branded ‘new Section 28’: https://www.thepinknews.com/2024/05/15/sex-education-guidance-trans-gender-schools/
Plan your relationships, sex and health curriculum: https://www.gov.uk/guidance/plan-your-relationships-sex-and-health-curriculum
The Equality Act 2010 For Schools: https://equaliteach.co.uk/downloads/The-Equality-Act-for-Schools-2010.pdf
Sex education review announced after MPs raise concerns: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-64892868
Horton, C. (2022). Institutional cisnormativity and educational injustice: Trans children's experiences in primary and early secondary education in the UK: https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/bjep.12540