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School of Sexuality Education reviews Adolescence
The Netflix series, Adolescence, was released just over a month ago. As a charity delivering relationships and sexuality education (RSE) in schools, the show centered many topics that are important to us and our work. Issues like: sexual and gender-based violence amongst young people; how young people navigate healthy relationships; and online harms such as digital image-based abuse or online cultures of misogyny and Inceldom.
We really welcome the discussions the show has helped create. These are important topics. However, we feel that some important things have been missed in some of these discussions. Based on our experiences of working with students in UK schools, we reflect on Adolescence and some of the ways it portrays misogyny in schools. We consider the ways the series has been talked about in public, as well as what important messages are missing and what we can all do next to tackle these harms.
Spoilers and warnings - This piece contains spoilers for the TV show. It also specifically addresses lots of the issues featured in Adolescence, in some detail. This includes things like sexual violence, misogyny and the murder of a child.
There was a lot to love about Adolescence. In an age of ‘second screen’ entertainment - viewers often having phones or other devices open whilst watching TV - it was absolutely compelling. It was brilliantly written, acted and shot. There is something powerful about this show and it has managed to draw in a large audience and engage them around really tough subjects. Even the Prime Minister, Keir Starmer, has commented on Adolescence and the issues it features. Repeatedly. The show has drawn in many people and got them interested in trying to understand misogyny in schools. This is a really important and powerful phenomenon.
Even though Adolescence centers around a very extreme and rarer type of misogynistic violence - murder - it felt like it did a pretty good job of showing how normalised and everyday misogyny and sexual violence in schools can be. The adoption of harmful, misogynistic and violent language and behaviour by young people - specifically boys and young men - is, in our experience, extremely common. We often encounter comments and ideas from students that echo these sentiments. A couple of weeks ago, one of our facilitators was told, “She was kind of asking for it,” by a student. This was in response to a hypothetical scenario involving catcalling and sexual harassment in a school setting. The work that we do often involves unpacking and constructively challenging these sorts of ideas.
We also felt very seen by the depictions of misogyny against school staff - something else we experience in schools through pupils behaving very differently towards adults in a gendered way. This dynamic is captured well in Adolescence. The second episode is set in Jamie’s school. In this environment, we see lots of examples of male teachers acting in a domineering way - aggressively shouting at students to get them to behave.
Our facilitator, Emma, was particularly struck by this aspect. They described the figure of the ‘shouty man teacher’ seen several times in the second episode as ‘very familiar’, likening it to their experiences of being in schools, where an authoritative senior teacher - usually a man - will turn up to shout for order in an unruly classroom, then disappear.
The way in which boys can behave differently to women who are authority figures in their lives and the way misogyny is enacted through this is shown throughout Adolescence. We see students talk disparagingly about women teachers in the corridor on several occasions - for example, “What the fuck’s she on?” from one student after being told to tuck his school shirt in, or the angry response from a male pupil who Mrs Fenumore briefly interacts with whilst leading the police officers through the canteen. In the third episode, we see Jamie adopt some of this misogynistic behaviour towards Briony Ariston - a psychologist and one of the few female characters in Adolescence who we get to hear from at length. He shouts and threatens, at one point yelling, “You don’t tell me what to do, get that into your little head.” When eventually a member of the facility staff comes in, this seems to echo the experience Emma described in schools - an authoritative man coming in to deal with challenge from boys, using masculinity to make them submissive.
Illustration by Hannah Brown
Adolescence portrays some really important issues in a way that feels very authentic to us as practitioners working with youth in UK schools. But the way the public have spoken about it has been quite frustrating to us, as an organisation trying to address sexual and gender-based violence amongst young people. We will now consider where we feel Adolescence falls short - or at least, where the public discussion around it has.
One thing we feel very strongly is that, while Adolescence has been a great way of getting adults’ attention and interest in the issues, it is absolutely not appropriate as a resource for teaching young people about misogyny, relationships, violence prevention or digital harms. Netflix announced that they would be making the series available for schools to show their students. We would strongly discourage schools from doing this, for a number of reasons.
Although it is about young people, Adolescence is very much framed from an adult point of view. We see the story almost entirely from their perspectives. We only very briefly ever see young people interacting without adults present. Adolescence is a great window into how parents and professionals grapple with things like gender-based violence in schools or inceldom. It’s a great device for engaging the wider community into the issue of misogyny and violence amongst young people. But it doesn’t really speak to what their experiences are like or, for young people at least, what needs to change in their lives to address the harms depicted. Since the show was released, we haven’t really noticed young people themselves talking about Adolescence in schools. This makes sense, given that the focus of the show is not actually young peoples’ first-hand experiences.
On a practical note, showing Adolescence in schools will be logistically hard. Although a miniseries consisting of just four episodes, this amounts to over four hours of viewing. Whilst a part of the statutory national curriculum, we find that RSE subjects are often not given priority in terms of time and other resources dedicated to them in schools. It is often deprioritised for other core subjects, particularly ones that older students will be examined on. We will often be asked to deliver topics in a shorter time than we would like - for example, just 50 minutes for a workshop on sexual violence prevention or navigating digital media. In public discussions about Adolescence, some have made suggestions to add content to what is taught in classrooms to address the issues the show raises. Whilst we will always encourage reflection around how to improve the RSE curriculum, this discourse is not helpful if it comes without commitment and resources to help schools implement change. Access to a TV show alone just won’t cut that. We find Netflix’s announcement particularly interesting in light of the criticism DI Luke Bascombe, a police officer investigating Katie’s murder, makes after spending a day watching how the school operates:
“Does it look like anyone’s learning anything to you? It just looks like a fucking holding pen. Videos in every class.”
It is likely that the experiences of Jamie and his killing of Katie will seem very distant from the vast majority of students in the UK, even if the misogyny and digital harms that underpin them aren’t. To make those links and reflect on how to challenge and change misogyny in schools, we need more than this video in every class.
Though generally thought provoking, Adolescence doesn’t provide any concrete suggestions on how to tackle the problems featured. The concept of what exactly the problem is feels vague. Variously, “the computer”, “all that instagram stuff”, “incels” and “the manosphere” are positioned as the issue - without explicitly explaining how or even what these things really mean. Polina, one of our facilitators, described it feeling like social media was made into a “scapegoat” for Katie’s murder. There have been rumours about a possible second series of Adolescence. Polina is also a PhD candidate in media studies and commented that she would want to see “much more in depth engagement with what inceldom is” if this were to happen. She added that It would be important to see this much more directly addressed and unpacked. Because Adolescence doesn’t ever solidly commit to what could or should have been done to prevent Katie’s death. It is hinted at, at times. DS Misha Frank, another police officer investigating the murder reflects after the school visit,
“All kids need is one thing that makes them feel good about themselves.”
We get the impression from Briony Ariston (the psychologist), Eddie Miller (Jamie’s dad) as well as Jamie himself that part of the problem is what ‘being a man’ means to Jamie, and the lack of regard and self-esteem he has experienced growing up. We also see Luke (DI Bascombe) making tentative attempts to spend time with and bond with his son, Adam, after a day of witnessing how cold the school experience can be. We get the impression that adults need to be compassionate and interested in boys and young men, but nobody says it explicitly. In the final episode Jamie’s parents are discussing Jamie’s actions and if they could have done anything differently as parents to prevent him killing Katie. Manda Miller (Jamie’s mum) says to Eddie (his dad),
“I think it would be good… if we accepted that maybe we should’ve done [more to prevent what Jamie did]. I think it’d be okay for us to think that.”
There is a definite sense that things should be different, but no specifics about what that should look like. This is perhaps a completely reasonably (and realistic) conclusion to draw from a piece of television. But it’s disappointing that this general lack of commitment to clear, realistic and specific action has been reflected in the wider discourse.
Another feature of Adolescence that makes it dramatically interesting, but perhaps also unhelpful as a reference for how to tackle gender-based and sexual violence amongst youth, is just how heavily it is written from a masculine perspective. A majority of the significant characters are men - and to a lesser extent boys. Whilst it was brilliantly written and acted overall, we felt that the women and girls were typically not written as strongly as male characters. At least one of the four episodes doesn’t seem to pass the Bechdel test.
Perhaps this is largely due to the writing and producing team consisting heavily of men - and working together to produce an authentic feeling perspective of this issue. And this wouldn’t be a problem if we had a range of references and perspectives within our culture talking about these issues. But when it comes to gender-based violence, we simply don’t. In one of the few extended speeches given to a woman character in Adolescence, Misha (DS Frank) laments the fact that women and girls who have been murdered are never the focus of attention.
We are concerned about this reliance solely on the perspective of men, as well as a disregard for the experiences of women and girls, which seems to have spilled over into the public discourse. Many commentators have focused on the ideas and opinions of men, some resting on the idea of ‘positive masculinity’ rather than ‘toxic masculinity’. We strongly believe that the answer to gender-based violence amongst youth is to openly engage them in discussion and critical reflection about the ways in which the gender binary creates and reinforces harm. By ‘the gender binary’, we mean: the concept that everyone is either a man or a woman; that men and women are inherently completely different from each other, often rooted in biological myths as an explanation for these differences; and that any harms arising from these gender differences are inevitable and ‘natural’.
Examples of the gender binary we see in Adolescence include the expectation that men always want sex and are also not good at expressing emotions - other than through anger. In the discussions with Briony, the psychologist, we get the impression that Jamie feels pressure to make up and brag about being sexually experienced with girls. We also learn that he holds deeply negative views of himself, partly because he sees himself as “ugly” and unattractive to girls. It is not explicitly stated, but we as the viewers are left to draw conclusions that, after being romantically rejected by Katie, he felt compelled to respond with anger.
A big part of the work we do around sexual-violence prevention is talking to young people - including boys and young men - and asking them to critically reflect on the gender binary. This includes teaching them that it is important for people - of any gender - to accept romantic and sexual rejection without pressure, coercion or violence and that expressing feelings of sadness or vulnerability is okay and actually very human. Centering the conversation around ‘positive masculinity’ merely gives them an altered set of ideals to put in the rigid boxes of how men and boys should perform to comply with the gender binary. It does nothing to create freedom from gendered expectations.
Something Dolly, CEO of School of Sexuality Education, has said would be great to see in a second season of Adolescence is openly addressing the idea that ‘boys will only listen to men’ about misogyny or masculinity. Both in our work in schools and also in the public discussions around Adolescence we hear the idea that solving misogyny and gender-based violence is just about giving boys ‘good male role models’. Whilst it’s important that people of all genders are part of the conversation, focusing only on men’s roles perpetuates, rather than frees us from, the gender binary. It also reinforces the idea that women and girls have no authority or part in addressing gender-based violence, further perpetuating misogynistic assumptions. As we stated earlier, this is exactly the problematic gendered dynamic we see both authentically portrayed in Adolescence and in the work we do in schools.
Adolescence is an original and moving piece of work. It asks important questions about misogyny and violence amongst young people in the age of the manosphere. It has done a fantastic job of bringing these questions into public awareness. However, as a piece of cultural entertainment, its use in telling us how we answer these questions is extremely limited. As experts in the school RSE sector, we hope that people are able to translate this awareness into action. We hope that the parents and carers use it as a prompt to talk to young people, creating spaces in their lives where they feel valued, esteemed and heard. We hope that professionals, politicians and policy makers take it as a call to action to open and specifically work to raise and address these issues with young people.
Adolescence is currently available to view on Netflix. For more information about our workshops on a range of RSE topics, including on sexual violence prevention and healthy relationships, contact info@schoolofsexed.org.
For more information about our training programmes on tackling misogyny in schools and non-educational workplaces visit our CPD page.
Pet Names for Private Parts: Why It’s Not Okay
A guest blog, by Charlie K
Charlie is a former youth worker, campaigner, and healthcare advocate. He successfully campaigned for political parties to include Deaf Education in schools, and runs a successful community group that supports the LGBTQIA+ Community with disabilities, chronic illnesses, mental health conditions, and neurodiverse identities.
When I was a child, my mother told me to refer to my vulva and vagina as a ‘pee-pee’, and I always wondered why this was. Was it because the real name was so wrong or dirty that we had to use innuendos? Was it because she was projecting her own shame and embarrassment onto me? Or was it because that was just how she was taught by her mother?
Throughout this blog, we will explore why it is that we don’t teach children and young people the right words for their anatomy from a young age, and the importance of correcting that for future generations.
Illustration by Evie Karkera
Why is it ‘socially unacceptable’ to use the right words for genitalia?
It is in a young person’s best interest to learn about their bodies to protect themselves and others from harm. Sexual Violence Educator, Kate Rohdenburg, sits down with the young people in her classrooms and asks them to identify the parts of the body (Buni, 2013).
"Face!" "Nose!" "Belly!" "Mouth!" "Toes!" shout the children, as they engage with the session. All of these features are so normal to us, yet there is still such a stigma attached to one part of the body that belongs to those with vulvas and vaginas. There is an inherent undercurrent of shame attached to these parts like it is somehow wrong to have one or to hold any feelings about having it, good or bad.
The ‘shame’ that we are taught throughout childhood leads to young people being unable to communicate about their health or safety with trusted adults, and any adults feeling awkward or unable to discuss their bodies with potential partners or medical professionals. The Eve Appeal, a charity that supports people with gynaecological cancers, found in 2016 that over 65% of young people with vulvas and vaginas do not feel comfortable using those words, with 40% of young people continuing to use euphemisms to describe their genitalia (The Eve Appeal, 2016).
The Origins of Censorship
Exploring the history of the anatomical names for our genitalia may partially explain why we don’t use the actual names for our anatomy, yet this is not to say that we cannot change this in the modern day.
Both ‘Vagina’ and ‘Vulva’ derive from Seventeenth Century Latin, with ‘Vagina’ meaning ‘sheath’ or ‘scabbard’, an item that was used to protect a sword, with ‘Vulva’ meaning ‘to revolve or wrap’ (Rosen, 2024; Harper, no dateB; Harper, no dateC). The implication being that the vulva and vagina are secondary to the ‘sword’ it protects (Rosen, 2024). Outside of the English language, Dutch and German share the same name for the labia, the folds of skin on the vulva, ‘Shaamlippen/Schamlippen’. The literal translation of this in English isn’t actually labia however, it is ‘shame lips’ (Schaamteloos, no date; Schechter, no date). Dutch campaigners have been working to fight the shame, and instead change the name to ‘vulvalippen’ or in English, Vulva Lips (Schaamteloos, no date).
The language of shame is not solely surrounding vulvas and vaginas, although they are the main focus. The nerve that provides sensation to our genitals regardless of sex is referred to as the ‘Pudendal Nerve’. The word ‘Pudenda’ which gives the Nerve its full name also derives from Latin, and translates to ‘thing to be ashamed of’ (Physiopedia contributors, 2023; Harper, no dateA).
60% of the English language derives from Latin, specifically the neo-Latin era of 1500-1900 (Ben-Menahem, 2009, p. 5581). Subsequently, most language used to describe genitals derives from this period. Latin was the language of the ‘upper class’, with religious leaders and academics forging new works during this “scientific revolution” (Butterfield, 1959, p. viii). Unfortunately, people with vulvas were typically excluded from academia, and even if they were educated (which only the upper classes had access to), they would be looked down upon (McCallum-Barry, 2016). The conservatism of the era has formed the basis for our language today. It is no wonder then that there is a sense of embarrassment about genitals, considering a lot of the language we use to describe them historically excludes or shames them!
Censorship Today
Such a narrative in today’s society is perpetuated throughout TV shows, social media, and companies, with censorship on mentions of the vulva “not complying with guidelines” (Popat et al., 2022), whilst penises face no such restrictions. In 2007, the writers of Grey’s Anatomy were asked to omit the word “vagina”, and instead they coined the euphemism, “vajayjay” when a surgeon's character was discussing labour and delivery.
In 2020, Family Guy was not allowed to use ‘vagina’ in a scene, and instead coined the term “cleeman” to avoid censorship (Popat et al., 2022). Additionally, social media apps like TikTok will remove videos of people mentioning vaginas, so, people use words like ‘virginia’ or ‘v*g*na’ to avoid videos getting flagged and banned. Similarly, if you wished to engrave the word ‘clit’ or ‘vagina’ onto an Apple iPhone, it does not allow it due to “inappropriate language”, yet ‘penis’ or ‘dick’ are perfectly fine (Tamblyn, 2014).
Renowned illustrator, Liv Strömquist, expands on the language of vulvas and vaginas in her book, ‘Fruit of Knowledge: The Vulva vs. the Patriarchy’. Exploring the censorship, exclusion, and shame surrounding the vulva, she comes to one conclusion. The lack of accurate language and illustrations used for actual vulvas, not the barbie-doll vulvas that are often depicted in media, could be classed as “psychic genital mutilation”, in other words, the mental removal of vulvas in the societal zeitgeist (Strömquist, 2014, p. 39).
The censorship and shame surrounding the correct terms for vulvas is so deeply ingrained in modern society, yet there are no good reasons to replace these. It is important to use the proper terms, not just to combat the shame of talking, but for the safety of young people, for them to look after their health, and to communicate their needs properly.
Why is it important to use the right terms to describe our anatomy?
Shame
Naturally, we teach children that their penises and vulvas are known as ‘private parts’ for good reason. Teaching young children that their bodies are their own can establish powerful ideas around bodily autonomy from the beginning. However, ‘private’ is different from ‘shameful’.
Vulvas and vaginas serve important functions, from providing people with pleasure to creating new life. It is not shameful to own vulvas, and only by more openly discussing the actual names of bodies can we truly eradicate the culture of shame, and clearly communicate our needs.
Clarity and Communication
When I asked my friends why they believed it was important to use the right names for our anatomy, one of them said, “You wouldn’t call a leg a walky arm, so why would you call any other part of your body anything different?”. This sentiment has also been echoed by the American Academy of Paediatrics (2023) in one of their Child Abuse Prevention Month posts. Children and young people need to know the differences between an appropriate touch and not, and when it is time to report any unwanted interactions to a trusted adult.
Miscommunication occurs when code names are given to genitalia. Young people must be taught the correct names for their anatomy so that they can communicate with any professionals if they have an issue with their vulvas or vaginas; so that they can tell any future partners what they do and don’t like; as well as understand their bodies. We will discuss child sexual assault later in this blog, but it is important to state here that when a child makes a disclosure to a trusted adult regarding their experiences, it is very easy to misinterpret if the correct names are not used.
If a young person states that “[someone] touched my ‘cookie’”, this can have varying consequences if taken at face value compared to the euphemistic reference to penis/vagina. It is important to prevent harm to children and give young people the vocabulary to ensure their safety and feel empowered (Kenny and Wurtele, 2008, p.74).
The communication issues are not restricted solely to children and young adults, however. When polling women* aged 26-35, only half were able to correctly identify the vulva, vagina, womb, cervix, and ovaries on a basic diagram (Eve Appeal, 2016). It is impossible to communicate clearly with those around us and understand our experiences when we are not given the words or the power to do so.
*Please note that we are using language here that is used in the poll, we prefer the terms ‘People with Vaginas’ and ‘People with vulvas’.
Safety
Sadly, research has shown that 1 in 3 people with vulvas and 1 in 20 of those with penises will be sexually assaulted by the time they are 17 (American Academy of Paediatrics, 2023). Unfortunately, these numbers are likely higher as young people may feel ashamed or embarrassed to disclose their experiences of assault - feelings we work towards combatting.
If genitals are already seen as something ‘wrong’ to openly discuss, it’s no wonder people may be reluctant to disclose their experiences to trusted adults.
Health
If you have a health issue, you see a doctor and explain what’s wrong. You’ve tripped and twisted your ankle, you can explain that to your GP. You’ve bumped your head, you discuss that with your GP. But, when there is a gynaecological issue, lots of people with vulvas don’t know how to describe it, or might not feel comfortable speaking to their doctor about it. In a society that perpetuates the notion of shame surrounding discussing vulval anatomy, it is completely understandable why, but it does not have to be this way.
In 2022, a survey conducted by the UK Department of Health and Social Care (DHSC), found that on average, 84% of women* in the UK felt they had not been listened to by healthcare professionals. Although a similar percentage (85%) felt comfortable speaking to medical professionals about general healthcare concerns, only 64-77% of those surveyed were comfortable discussing a range of gynaecological and hormonal conditions (Department of Health and Social Care, 2022).
Discussing anatomy empowers us to be able to hold open conversations and helps normalise our bodily functions. After all, everyone experiences health issues throughout their life in different parts of their bodies. Being able to describe accurately where you’re experiencing symptoms, whether in the ovaries, vulva, uterus, etc. helps get more targeted support for that area.
*This is the language that is used in the study, we prefer the terms ‘People with Vaginas’ and ‘People with vulvas’.
The importance of teaching children and young people the correct terms for their anatomy cannot be reiterated enough. Not only does it aid in removing shame or embarrassment from the discussions, but it also promotes clarity in communications, as well as aids in keeping them safe and healthy. We need to be able to openly discuss genitals just like any other body part, it keeps everyone safe and healthy in the long run.
How do I talk to my children about their penis/vagina?
See our blog post here about Tackling Tricky Topics!
What we do
At School of Sexuality Education, we ensure we teach young people accurate terms for body parts. We never shame them for any words they have or use - for example because they are considered ‘childish’ or ‘rude’. But we do let them know that using factual and accurate language can be useful for keeping bodies happy and healthy. Our approach is rights-based, inclusive and trauma-informed. We support young people and those working with them to ensure everyone has access to a complete, inclusive and comprehensive relationships and sex(uality) education.
We facilitate educational sessions designed to make children and young people feel empowered to make informed decisions about their lives and the lives of others that they may interact with.
Regardless of the format, the School of Sexuality Education’s aim is always the same: to provide young people with the knowledge, skills and attributes to build healthier lives and develop a more equitable society.
Sources and Further Reading
American Academy of Paediatrics (2023), 10 Tips for Parents to Teach Children about Body Safety and Boundaries, Available at: aap.org/en/news-room/news-releases/health--safety-tips/10-tips-for-parents-to-teach-children-about-body-safety-and-boundaries/.
Ben-Manahem, A. (2009), Historical Encyclopedia of Natural and Mathematical Sciences, Germany: Springer.
Buni, C. (2013), The Case for Teaching Kids 'Vagina,' 'Penis,' and 'Vulva', The Atlantic, Available at: theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/04/the-case-for-teaching-kids-vagina-penis-and-vulva/274969/.
Butterfield, H. (1959), The Origins of Modern Science 1300 - 1800, [eBook] New York: The Macmillan Company, Available at: archive.org/details/originsofmoderns007291mbp/page/n7/mode/2up.
Department of Health and Social Care (2022), Call for evidence outcome: Results of the ‘Women’s Health - Let’s talk about it’ survey, Available at: gov.uk/government/calls-for-evidence/womens-health-strategy-call-for-evidence/outcome/results-of-the-womens-health-lets-talk-about-it-survey.
Eve Appeal (2016), Why ‘vagina’ should be part of every woman’s vocabulary, Available at: eveappeal.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/The-Eve-Appeal-Vagina-Dialogues.pdf.
Schechter, F. (no date), Stigma and Shame Lips: Interview With Florence Schechter, Director of The Vagina Museum, Available at: ellaone.co.uk/magazine/features/stigma-and-shame-lips-interview-with-florence-schechter-director-of-the-vagina-museum/.
Harper, D. (no dateA), Etymology of pudendum, Online Etymology Dictionary, Available at: etymonline.com/word/pudendum.
Harper, D (no dateB), Etymology of vagina, Online Etymology Dictionary, Available at: etymonline.com/word/vagina.
Harper, D. (no dateC), Etymology of vulva, Online Etymology Dictionary, Available at: etymonline.com/search?q=vulva.
Kenny, M. C., and Wurtele, S. K. (2008), Toward Prevention of Childhood Sexual Abuse: Preschoolers’ Knowledge of Genital Body Parts, In: Plakhotnik, M. S., and Nielsen, S. M. (eds), Proceedings of the Seventh Annual Collect of Education Research Conference: Urban and Educational Section, Miami: Florida International University, pp. 74-79, Available at: digitalcommons.fiu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1121&context=sferc.
McCallum-Barry, C. (2016), 'Learned Women of the Renaissance and Early Modern Period in Italy and England: The Relevance of their Scholarship', In: Rosie Wyles, and Edith Hall (eds), Women Classical Scholars: Unsealing the Fountain from the Renaissance to Jacqueline de Romilly, Classical Presences. Available at: doi.org/10.1093/acprof:oso/9780198725206.003.0002.
Physiopedia contributors (2023), Pudendal Nerve, Available at: physio-pedia.com/Pudendal_Nerve.
Popat, S., Horwitz, R., Eilber, K., and Lee, U. (2022), “Vagina” is not a bad word: historical and contemporary censorship of the word “Vagina”, Journal of Urology, 207(5), p. e215, Available at: auajournals.org/doi/abs/10.1097/JU.0000000000002541.11.
Rosen, G (2024), Why Do We Call the Vagina Everything but “Vagina”?, Available at: evvy.com/blog/censoring-vagina.
Shaamteloos (no date), Vulvalippen, Available at: schaamteloos.org/en.
Strömquist, L (2014), Fruit of Knowledge: The Vulva vs. the Patriarchy, Translated by: Bowers, M., London: Virago.
Tamblyn, T. (2014), Apple Will Let You Engrave The Word ‘Penis’ But Not ‘Vagina’ On An iPad, Huffpost, Available at: huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/07/11/apple-ipad-engraving-sexism_n_5576866.html.
So you want to work in RSE?
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to work in Relationships and Sexuality Education (RSE)?
We asked some of our unembarrassable team for their expert insight on a career in RSE.
Working in RSE is a great job that combines unique challenges with really important and impactful work. It’s a big responsibility. RSE is a way of safeguarding young people and protecting their rights, ensuring the information they have access to is complete and inclusive.
People often ask us how to get into working in RSE and what it’s like day to day, so we’ve pulled together some answers to some of the most common questions.
We’ve provided a mixture of information about working in the sector in general, as well as advice for people wanting to work for School of Sexuality Education in particular.
What does being an RSE educator involve?
All good RSE educators take responsibility for safeguarding and advocating for young people. They understand their position of power means they have the ability to positively change lives and protect young people from harm.
In the UK, relationships and sex education is part of the statutory national curriculums for 11 to 16 year olds. This means that schools have to provide education about a wide range of related topics, such as respectful relationships and consent, sexual health and period health.
Much of this is provided by teachers. People who work in RSE through this route are usually qualified teachers in a core subject. They usually spend some of their time teaching their core subject and part of their work week delivering RSE sessions.
Many schools choose to have some part of their RSE content delivered by external providers. This is the type of work that School of Sexuality Education does. Working for us involves delivering our workshops, usually in secondary schools to a whole class.
Typically, you will be asked to deliver a series of workshops during the school day, to different classes. Each workshop usually lasts from 50 minutes to 2 hours. You might be delivering the same workshop several times during the day, or different workshops, depending on the school’s needs. We sometimes deliver workshops as assemblies too.
There are also people working within academic research and/or who create RSE content for the public and professionals. We do an element of this work, but as a small charity very rarely recruit for jobs that just involve doing this.
What kind of qualifications do I need to be a relationships and sexuality educator?
Our facilitators have a range of backgrounds and professional qualifications - for example teaching, sexual violence prevention work, academic research, youth work, psychotherapy, and healthcare. There are no specific qualifications or training route. When hiring, we assess someone’s overall skills, knowledge and experience through their written application and their interview performance. We then provide in-house training - both initially and as part of an ongoing development programme.
We are aware of courses aimed particularly at those who wish to work in RSE. Sometimes we receive facilitator applications from people who have completed them and describe themselves as ‘accredited’ or ‘qualified’ sex educators. Whilst we recognise that many people find these courses useful in getting started in RSE, there is no specific course or training that we either require or recommend to be a School of Sexuality Education RSE facilitator.
I am interested in working in relationships and sexuality, but not with adolescents. Is this possible?
We do occasionally carry out work with younger students - for example in Primary and Prep Schools. There is no mandatory sex education curriculum for these age groups (KS2 and 1) and the relationships curriculum is different from that for older students, so the nature of this is slightly different from our core work.
We occasionally provide workshops to adults - including RSE workshops to University students and in specialised health and social care settings. Additionally, we provide staff training in delivering mandatory RSE or generally supporting young people around sex and relationship needs.
However, both of these types of work represent a small amount of what we do overall. Our core mission as a charity is to support young people around RSE and most of this work is in secondary schools. If you are not interested in working mainly and regularly with 11-18 year olds, then a role with us is probably not for you!
Who makes a good RSE facilitator?
There are a few different skills we look for in facilitators. Below are some of the main skills and aptitudes we look for. Someone who:
Understands the importance for RSE in safeguarding young people and children.
Is a confident and engaging communicator, who shows that they would be able to present material to students in classroom workshops or in assemblies to larger groups, given the appropriate training.
Can demonstrate that they are passionate about inclusive RSE - for example, through previous work, volunteering or involvement in relevant projects.
Has realistic expectations of what working with secondary school aged students is like - and can demonstrate this through experience (paid or voluntary) of working with this group and adequate reflection on these experiences.
Is willing and able to name and challenge any discriminatory or harmful behaviour that arises in the classroom - particularly when it is transphobic, misogynistic or racist/Islamophobic as these are the harms we most frequently encounter.
Is able to learn and take on board feedback without becoming defensive. This is really important in terms of being able to develop your RSE practice and work collectively as a team!
Is organised and motivated enough to be able to do the practical aspects of the job - like turn up to a new site on time and begin lessons at a school with an early start time.
Understands the nature of the role and our dedication to supporting schools in rural or hard to reach areas - which can mean lots of travel!
When we recruit, we often receive applications from people with considerable experience in a specific area - e.g. has a decade or more in education, or postgraduate qualifications in a field related to RSE. To be a good facilitator you need to be a good ‘all rounder’ in all of the above.
Do young people make good RSE facilitators because they just ‘get’ other young people?
We sometimes get young adults telling us that they feel they would make good RSE facilitators particularly because they are close in age to the students we work with.
We believe that people of all ages - including those who are over but close to 18 years - can make really great facilitators. However, it’s really important to remember that often students view facilitators as very separate to them and the authority figure in the room. This power difference exists, even if you feel there is only a small difference in time between you and students. We believe that good facilitators are aware of this power difference and are comfortable challenging harm, to keep young people safe.
I have a degree, masters or PhD in a field related to RSE. Will I make a good facilitator?
Possibly! We need you to demonstrate an interest in and passion for inclusive RSE. Academic qualifications in a field like gender studies, sexual health research, psychology, sociology or similar might be a great way to do this. But this is just one of the skills we look for and it’s really important that you have all of the skills needed to be a great facilitator.
I’m keen to work in RSE, but don’t have much experience. What would you recommend I do?
First and foremost - try to get experience of working with young people, specifically those aged 11 to 18 years. We find that supporting this group is often extremely rewarding - but comes with very specific and real challenges. It’s not for everyone and if you want to work for us, it’s essential that you can demonstrate you have realistic expectations of what this will be like.
Gaining work experience in education - for example as a student support worker or teaching assistant - can be a really useful way of gaining an insight into the UK school system and typical classroom dynamics.
Relevant experience doesn’t have to be in schools, or paid work either. Lots of people who come to work with us have experience of volunteering in community youth settings, for example. However, we work in a broad range of schools, from inner city academies to rural independent and faith schools, or specialist provisions for students with special needs or who have been permanently excluded from mainstream education. The more that you can demonstrate that you understand the realities of working with young people in a broad range of educational settings, the better.
Interested in working with School of Sexuality Education?
Any open roles we have are posted here and we also share new opportunities on our social media channels, follow us on Instagram and LinkedIn to stay informed.
Tackling tricky topics
Starting conversations with young people about topics like relationships, sex, inclusivity and respect can sometimes feel daunting - especially if you’ve not been taught these topics yourself.
Here at School of Sexuality Education we find that lots of adults tell us they haven’t received high quality relationships and sex education themselves, and what they did learn as a child often left them with more questions than answers.
Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or youth leader, facilitating open dialogue is essential for safeguarding, and empowering young people.
Our unembarrassable team of experts have put together their five top tips to help you get started.
5 Top Tips for Talking to Young People About Tricky Topics
Here are five practical tips to help keep tricky conversations meaningful and approachable.
1. Create a Safe and Judgement-Free Space
Young people are more likely to open up if they feel safe and respected. Let them know no question is “too silly” and no feeling is “wrong.” This will let young people know they can come to you and their questions or concerns will be taken seriously and heard. A great way to do this can also be by validating any feelings even if it’s just noting them or reflecting them back to show that it’s okay to have them. For example, “this topic seems to be making you angry / defensive / uncomfortable. Sometimes important things can make us feel that way”.
For parents: If possible, choose a quiet moment when you’re alone together, like a car ride or a walk. Always avoid using an accusatory tone, even if you’re concerned. - but also normalise having small and regular conversations rather than one big “talk”.
For educators: Establish classroom ground rules about respect and confidentiality during discussions.
We want to avoid shutting conversations down even if we find them alarming. Consider, are we alarmed because the comment is harmful or could that be because of our value judgement?
2. Listen More Than You Talk
When a young person brings up a difficult topic, resist the urge to immediately “fix” or provide advice. Instead, ask open-ended questions and genuinely listen to their perspective. It can also be useful to check a young person’s understanding of something you want to address, or after you have explained it.
Say this: “What do you think about that?” or “How does that make you feel?”
Avoid this: “Here’s what you should do…” or “That’s not something to worry about.”
By listening first, you’re showing that their thoughts and feelings matter. We are also not making choices on their behalf, instead empowering them to make informed decisions about their health and wellbeing.
3. Use Language and Examples that respond to young people’s contextual and developmental needs
It’s important to tailor your message to their age and level of understanding. Younger children benefit from simple explanations, while teenagers welcome more nuance and detail.
For younger kids: “Being kind and including others helps everyone feel happy and safe.”
For older teens: “Everyone deserves respect, kindness and to feel safe. People we’re in relationships with should be offering us this and we should do the same for others.”
Relating these ideas to their real-life experiences—like friendships, TV or social media interactions—can make the conversation more relatable.
4. Be Honest and Open About Your Own Learning
If you’re not sure how to answer a tricky question, it’s okay to admit it. Young people respect authenticity and appreciate that learning is a lifelong process. It can be tempting to show young people that we have all of the answers , particularly if that’s a role we’re used to taking. But often just saying “I don’t know” can be empowering for young people to hear and help build trust around these conversations.
Say this: “That’s a great question. Let’s look it up together,” or “I’m learning about this too.”
Avoid this: Giving a rushed or vague answer just to move on.
Being vulnerable about your own journey can encourage them to approach challenges with curiosity rather than fear.
5. Model Inclusive Behaviour and Values
Your actions often speak louder than words. If you want to teach inclusivity, respect, and empathy, make sure your own behaviour reflects these values.
Celebrate diversity in your community and media choices.
Avoid stereotypes and language that might alienate or hurt others.
Address your own mistakes openly: “I realise I said something that might be hurtful. Here’s how I’ll do better.”
Young people learn best when they see adults practicing what they preach.
Talking about tricky topics isn’t always easy, but it’s one of the most impactful ways to shape a young person’s understanding of the world.
By creating a safe space, listening deeply, using relatable language, being honest, and modelling inclusivity, you can help them navigate these conversations with confidence and compassion.
Want to expand the conversation? Our book is a great resource for any parent, caregiver or young person. It offers a positive, practical and empowering guide for teenagers, tackling sex and relationships in an inclusive and non-judgemental way Sex Ed: An Inclusive Teenage Guide to Sex and Relationships.
Shop With Purpose, Wear Your Allyship
Introducing Our New Store
At School of Sexuality Education, we’re committed to delivering inclusive, empowering education that safeguards and uplifts young people.
Now, we’re excited to give you an opportunity to join the movement in a bold new way.
Say hello to our brand-new merchandise store — a collection designed to celebrate inclusivity, promote allyship, and fund the work we do to protect and empower young people.
You won’t find these products anywhere else; every print is exclusive to School of Sexuality Education.
More Than Just Merch - It’s a Movement
This isn’t your average T-shirt or tote bag. When you shop our collection, you’re not just buying products; you’re making a statement and supporting our charity.
You’re standing up for inclusivity, diversity, and equality. Every piece in our store has been thoughtfully created to spark conversation, inspire change, and show the world that you care.
You’re directly supporting our mission to safeguard young people, provide inclusive RSE (Relationships & Sex Education), and protect them from harm.
What You’ll Find in the Collection
Our products spark conversations and show the world you care, a daily reminder of your support for inclusion and accessible RSE.
Tees that speak volumes
Wear your values on your sleeve—literally. Our range of tops come in a variety of sizes, colours, and designs, all celebrating allyship and inclusivity.
Tote bags for everyday impact
Carry change wherever you go with our sturdy, stylish totes. Perfect for books, groceries, or your everyday essentials—and served with a side of social good.
Why It Matters
Every purchase you make funds our charities potentially life-changing work. Your support allows us to:
Deliver inclusive RSE programs that empower young people to make safe, informed choices.
Equip educators and communities with tools to protect and safeguard the next generation.
Create a world where young people of all identities feel seen, valued, and safe.
When you shop with us, you’re not just helping us achieve our mission—you’re showing the world you’re an ally who stands for inclusivity and change.
How You Can Get Involved - It’s easy to make an impact.
Shop the Collection: Browse our merch and find pieces that resonate with you.
Share Your Support: Post a picture of your new merch and tag us on social media. Use #ShopWithPurpose and #InclusiveRSE to spread the word.
Inspire Others: Encourage friends, family, and colleagues to join the movement by shopping our collection and supporting the cause.
Say it loud and proud: Something you want but can’t find it? Let us know! We are led by our communities, pop us a comment or message on social media, or email us with suggestions and ideas.
Together, We Can Make a Difference
Your support means everything to us—and to the young people whose lives we’re working to protect and uplift. With your help, we’re creating a future where inclusivity is celebrated, education is empowering, and no young person is left behind.
Shop now and join a movement that’s changing lives. Together, we can make a difference—one T-shirt, tote bag, and mug at a time.
Thank you for standing with us, supporting our mission, and wearing your allyship with pride.
Let’s make the world a safer, more inclusive place - together.
Supporting Gender Non-Conforming Children & Young People: A practical guide
Guest blog by parent, Tara C-Y
““When my teachers talk to me about being non-binary, I feel like I belong. I help them to understand how I feel inside and when I help them, that means they can help me.””
Schools play a vital role in providing secure foundations for all children and young people to grow and flourish, and many schools do wonderful work with their pupils around inclusivity. But like most areas in life, there is always room to grow and explore inclusion further, particularly when considering the support needs of transgender or gender-non conforming pupils.
In our work delivering relationships and sexuality education in schools and universities across the UK, we have seen so much really great practice around supporting children and young people who are transgender or gender non-conforming (GNC). We’ve also heard from a number of educators and carers who really have young peoples’ best interests at heart, but are unsure or anxious about how to practically approach this issue.
This is understandable, particularly given some of the sensationalist and harmful narratives used by some bad faith actors when discussing trans issues in the media or politics. This guide has been brought together to help professionals, parents and other caregivers to support GNC children and youth in a way that centres their needs.
Gender non-conforming and transgender adolescents tend to suffer discrimination, stigmatisation and violence in schools, mostly from peers, but a lack of the correct support from teachers and caregivers can also result in trans and GNC young people feeling ostracised, affecting their performance at school (1).
Case Study 1
The situation
A non-binary student (Y10) was joining a trip with their school for History. They realised they would have to share dorms with the girls and that caused a lot of anxiety.
The actions
Their mum spoke to the school to relay the impact of sharing dorms would have on the Y10 student. The school spoke to the parent and student to understand their needs and any particular concerns. They liaised with the accommodation for the trip to look at some options for the student - ensuring that other students were comfortable and all students were safe.
THE RESULT
They managed to find a separate dorm for the student with their friends which they felt comfortable with, and liaised with their parents to ensure everyone was up to date and happy with the new format.
So, how can schools, parents, and caregivers offer correct and consistent support to enable transgender and GNC young people to thrive? There are a number of easy and practical steps that can be taken:
1) Respect the use of the young person’s pronouns: Always use the pronouns that they share with you and that they consent for you to share with others. If you make a mistake - acknowledge, apologise and move on.
When adults in positions of responsibility or within the family affirm the pronouns of the child or young person, this supports them to feel valued and accepted. Lots of well-meaning carers may have questions and concerns from the outset - but leading from a point of love, understanding and validation towards a young person is always a good place to start! Always be mindful that it is the choice of the young person as to when and how they share important aspects of their identity with the people around them.
Although schools still have a responsibility to ensure that the legal name and sex of the pupil is recorded within the admissions register, as required by the Education (Pupil Registration) Regulations (England) 2006, there is no legal reason for educational settings to refuse to affirm the pronouns of the young person.
If you make a mistake with the young person’s pronoun, the best thing to do is apologise and move on. You can be a good ally by gently correcting colleagues if they get it wrong, too.
2) Challenge transphobic bullying and gender stereotypes: Use the lived experience of GNC or trans children and young people to inform your work culture, classroom and community.
Research by Stonewall shows that only 8% of primary school teachers and 17% of secondary school teachers received specific training within school on tackling language that is transphobic or otherwise derogatory towards the LGBTQ+ community (2).
You can help to change transphobic culture within an educational setting or within the community by challenging hateful speech wherever you hear it. Working with organisations like School of Sexuality Education to access training can support you to be confident to tackle harmful language, and to have honest conversations with colleagues or family members about how to educate others (3).
If you work within an educational setting, you can involve colleagues in reviewing your anti-bullying policy and ensure that pupils learn about it in an age-appropriate way. You can also ask for the views and experiences of GNC pupils to ensure your policies are informed by lived experience.
3) Uphold confidentiality: This is so important for building trust, and also to centre the rights of young people to be entitled to privacy to keep them safe.
Make sure that you are a safe person for pupils and young people to speak to by respecting their right to confidentiality. You can only share information about a young person’s gender identity where there is a safeguarding risk, or if they have given their permission for specific details to be shared with peers or parents. Being LGBTQIA+ is never a safeguarding issue in and of itself.
Remember to have a conversation with the young person about confidentiality and what this means in your role. The need for confidentiality also means that you may need to use their legal name when discussing a situation with parents or caregivers – reassure the young person that you are doing this to protect their right to confidentiality, not to undermine their identity or gender expression.
Ensure that if you need to discuss a GNC or transgender pupil’s gender identity that it is done within a private and confidential space. The ramifications of accidentally outing a GNC or transgender pupil can be far-reaching and detrimental.
4) Share relevant resources: This can empower the child or young person to feel seen and heard. It can also go a long way to educate and tackle stigma around gender expression and identity.
Children and young people feel validated and secure when they see role models that are similar to themselves. In the words of Dr Ronx, “you cannot be what you do not see”.
Dr Ronx (they/them) is a non-binary emergency doctor, as well as an author of children’s books and a television presenter on Operation Ouch - a BBC science and health programme for young people. Sharing and discussing their work with young people is another way you can highlight trans and non-binary role models.
You can also support pupils to feel seen and included by sharing relevant literature within your RSHE lesson plans, and by including work around notable calendar events such as Pride or Trans Awareness Week.
If you are a parent or caregiver of a GNC child or young person, you can share awareness raising resources with staff in the educational setting or school. Whether you are a staff member or parent/caregiver, be open to having honest conversations with colleagues or other parents about the reality of being a GNC or trans young person in school, and how difficult this can be.
5) Offer simple and accessible support, and be open-minded: Simple solutions are often all that’s needed for effective support.
Supporting GNC children and young people isn’t and shouldn’t be a tick-box exercise. It should be approached with sensitivity towards the young person, and also towards parents/caregivers. Support also doesn’t need to look ‘big’, sometimes just asking a simple “How can we help you?” can enable fruitful dialogue, such as within the below case study.
Case Study 2
The situation
A student told their form tutor that they feel uncomfortable with their name, and would like everyone (teachers and students) to use their shorter name.
The actions
Their form tutor asked the student if they are happy for them to speak to other teachers and students on their behalf. They also asked if their parents were aware. The student explained that their parents were aware but that their grandparents were not and they were anxious about speaking to them. The teacher asked if the student was happy for them to contact their parents to let them know of these changes and if there was anything they could do to support.
The result
The student said they were happy with this. The school was able to work closely with the student and caregivers to make changes in the way that the student was called and talked about to ensure the student felt safe and included as much as possible.
A whole-school approach of normalising inclusion for GNC or transgender pupils can be a reality if the curriculum is used to develop positive attitudes towards challenging and dismantling harmful gender norms.
Be open-minded, and try not to assume that there are no GNC children or young people within your school – it is very possible there are, so be mindful and strive for inclusion even if you are not aware of any openly GNC or transgender pupils.
These are just a few ways to offer support to GNC or transgender children and young people, but there are many more. Remember that it takes a lot of courage for a GNC or transgender child or young person to live authentically as themselves, and even more courage to take the first step in discussing it. Modelling acceptance within the classroom and beyond, demonstrating a sensitive approach, and validating a young person’s gender identity or gender expression will ultimately support them to be happier within their educational setting.
Over the last few years there has been a media and political spotlight aimed at the rights of children and young people who are transgender or gender non-conforming (GNC). And more recently in May 2024, former Prime Minister Rishi Sunak released draft Relationships, Sex and Health Education (RSHE) guidance plans to effectively ban discussion around gender and gender identity within RSHE (4).
Although schools can have a degree of flexibility in what they teach within their RSHE lessons, all primary schools must teach relationship education, and secondary schools relationship and sex education (5). The Equality Act 2010 places specific requirements upon local authorities and schools to prevent unlawful discrimination. The protected characteristics of disability, gender reassignment, pregnancy and maternity, race, religion or belief, sex and sexual orientation still apply in relation to children and young people in schools as they do in adult settings (6).
Despite some unnecessary politically motivated alarmism, the National Association of Head Teachers (NAHT) have clearly stated that there is no evidence to suggest that teaching pupils about gender diversity or related topics within RHSE has led to widespread issues of ‘indoctrination’(7). Furthermore, research shows that supporting gender non-conforming young people within school settings helps to foster feelings of inclusion, and reduces the need for trans and GNC pupils to have to ask for support (8).
Simple acts of support, such as the practical steps outlined within this guide, will support GNC and transgender young people to develop a secure sense of self and emotional wellbeing that will enable them to thrive within their peer groups and in wider society.
School of Sexuality Education works to support parents and caregivers in showing up for and centering young peoples’ rights, including specifically around GNC issues. You can contact us at info@schoolofsexed.org if you would like to book training to support students.
References
Horton, C. (2022). Institutional cisnormativity and educational injustice: Trans children's experiences in primary and early secondary education in the UK: https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/bjep.12540
An Introduction To Supporting LGBTQ+ Children And Young People: A guide for schools, colleges and settings: https://www.stonewall.org.uk/sites/default/files/final_-_an_intro_to_supporting_lgbt_young_people_-_april2022.pdf
School of Sexuality Education. Workplace Training: schoolofsexed.org/workplace-training
Plan to ban gender identity discussion in schools branded ‘new Section 28’: https://www.thepinknews.com/2024/05/15/sex-education-guidance-trans-gender-schools/
Plan your relationships, sex and health curriculum: https://www.gov.uk/guidance/plan-your-relationships-sex-and-health-curriculum
The Equality Act 2010 For Schools: https://equaliteach.co.uk/downloads/The-Equality-Act-for-Schools-2010.pdf
Sex education review announced after MPs raise concerns: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-64892868
Horton, C. (2022). Institutional cisnormativity and educational injustice: Trans children's experiences in primary and early secondary education in the UK: https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/bjep.12540
What is the RSHE draft guidance and why should you be worried about it?
Shortly before calling a snap election, the government announced a proposed change to the guidance on how relationships, sex and health education (RSHE) is taught in schools. The proposal is deeply concerning - disempowering young people and introducing potentially harmful restrictions on discussing certain topics, all whilst failing to provide good evidence for these changes. There are concerns about them being implemented - and we are asking everyone who cares about inclusive, good-quality RSHE to act to protect it.
As many other experts in the sector have said - the draft guidance is not fit for purpose.
Below is our full response and guidance on responding to the draft consultation.
On 16th May 2024 the government opened a public consultation on a draft guidance for schools around statutory relationships, sex and health education (RSHE). In the UK we have a long history of sex education in schools being used as an opportunity for political gain, rather than as a tool to support and empower young people. Many thought this was exactly what was happening here - and a backlash followed. Figures in the sector branded the proposed guidance as “irresponsible” and accused prime minister Rishi Sunak of using children as a “political football”(1).
Days later, a snap election was called - resulting in reduced attention to the issue as the country and its press went into election mode.
But why are expert organisations such as School of Sexuality Education concerned about the proposed changes to the RSHE guidance? And have the associated problems gone away with the prospect of a new government? We think not. Here, we highlight some of our concerns about the proposed guidance and why we all need to act to protect good RSE - even though there's been a change of government following the recent election.
As a charity providing award-winning relationships and sexuality education (RSE), we know that good provision in this area can be simply transformative to young peoples’ lives. Currently, schools must teach their students about a range of RSE topics - from fertility and contraception and what healthy relationships look like, to an awareness of the impact of pornography and violence against women and girls. This learning is supported by the current statutory relationships, sex and health education (RSHE) curriculum guidance (2), published by the Department for Education (DfE) in 2019.
We will always continue to push for better and improved RSHE, which centres young peoples’ needs and voices. But broadly speaking this approach is having a positive impact. The Sex Education Forum’s Young Peoples’ Poll 2024 showed that 50% described their RSE as ‘good’ or ‘very good’ - an increase from 41% in 2019 (3).
Sex education in schools has long been a highly politicised topic in the UK. In the 1980s, in the face of growing support for the gay rights movement, the Conservative government went so far as to introduce into law Section 28, a piece of legislation which said that schools must not ‘promote the teaching of the acceptability of homosexuality as a pretended family relationship’(4). Section 28 was not fully repealed until 2003 and many LGBTQIA+ folks credit its influence as having negatively impacted their experiences of school and RSE (4).
It is perhaps surprising then that when the RSHE curriculum was made mandatory in 2017, it had overwhelming cross-party support (5). However, with the input and support of youth, education and health experts it did indeed. Schools and others in the RSE sector have been using it as the basis for providing high quality, evidence-based and inclusive RSE since the current guidance was rolled out in 2020.
However, the draft RSHE guidance shows a significant change in the approach to RSHE - although perhaps does not come as a surprise to those of us who have noted the rise of anti-rights rhetoric and the way that LGBTQIA+ folks have been targeted by it (6).
So what are the problems with the proposed RSHE guidance changes? Well, there’s an awful lot to be alarmed by in the 47 pages of the draft guidance (7). But we have three particular major concerns:
1) Firstly, the draft guidance frames RSHE in a way which is extremely patronising to young people and disempowering of their rights. It fails to recognise the potential of good RSE to transform, as well as the rights of young people to knowledge around their lives and bodies, RSHE is framed as a potentially corrupting or dangerous influence. The words ‘sensitive’ or ‘contested’ are used to refer to a range of RSHE topics - from sexual violence and gender identity to mental health issues (7). Whilst we would advocate for ‘sensitivity’ in dealing with all RSHE topics, this refers to how topics are approached, rather than the topics themselves. From our experience of delivering RSE in schools, we know that if supported correctly, it is possible for young people to have extremely nuanced and productive discussions around these issues.
2) Our second major concern involves the proposed censoring of some RSHE topics. One example is a total prohibition of anything around ‘gender identity’, which it describes as a ‘contested topic’ (7). Many have pointed out that the language used around this is eerily reminiscent of the spirit of Section 28 (8).
This approach is also in contradiction to that of organisations such as the World Health Organisation (WHO) which take time to define gender identity and link the importance of this concept to understanding related phenomena such as gender-based violence and health and mental-health inequalities (10).
We further recognise this tactic as transphobic - in that it seeks to undermine trans identities and to further isolate trans and gender diverse youth from seeking support within schools. United Nations (UN) Women recognises the rise in such approaches, labelling them as ‘anti-rights’ (6). It is therefore disheartening to learn that Keir Starmer, the new Prime Minister, appears to have bought into this harmful rhetoric. During a visit to a school on the election campaign trail, he is quoted as saying he was ‘not in favour’ of ideology around gender being taught in schools (10).
Age restrictions are a further area of concern in proposed content censorship. The draft RSHE guidance stipulates that some topics must not be discussed until students reach specific age groups. Areas where proposed age restrictions apply include: banning discussion of puberty until year 7 (ages 11-12 years), despite the fact that fact that pubertal changes can start before this age (11); restricting discussions around the harms of pornography until year 7, despite evidence that 1 in 10 nine year olds have watched pornography (12); and a ban on teaching about STIs and FGM until year 9 (ages 13-14 years), even though students in this age range will have already been offered the vaccine against the STI Human Papilloma Virus (11) and that previous government guidance on FGM includes case studies of FGM lessons with year 4-6 students (13).
There are several other examples of ‘age restricted’ topics in the draft RSHE guidance, on topics from sexual violence to online harms such as fraud, or suicide (2).
Whilst there are some topics that it may generally be best to avoid with younger students, it is really important that those supporting young people understand and respond appropriately to their contextual needs. If issues like sexual violence or suicide form part of a young person’s lived experience, it is very important that conversations around them are not closed down or shrouded in shame and taboo.
3) Our third major concern can be characterised by the lack of good quality evidence to support or justify changes to the RSHE guidance. The press release announcing the consultation uses the language of ‘parental rights’ and ‘protecting children’ (14). Just one source is cited - in relation to the proposed ban on ‘gender ideology’. The report mentioned is a controversial one, which has roundly received heavy criticism from trans youth advocacy groups (15).
No specific evidence is put forward to recommended age-restrictions (2). The draft RSHE guidance merely explains,
‘Age limits are focused on topics which, even when presented in a careful and well-intentioned way, may inadvertently give the message to young people that they could or should be engaging in or exploring adult activities rather than enjoying childhood.’ (2)
The message is clear - these age restrictions have been suggested on the feelings of those writing the report of what is or isn’t appropriate. This, despite the concerns that we and others in the sector have voiced about these age-restrictions and evidence that suggests they are inadequate - as discussed earlier (11).
It is crucial to understand the needs of young people in order to provide them with good quality RSHE. If you listen to our youth it is clear that they want access to more, not less, open and honest information - which responds to their actual needs in an informed way and empowers them. As one respondent to the Young People's RSE Poll 2024 put it,
‘Some stuff I had to learn on my own because I knew about it before sex education was taught [...] nowadays young children are becoming more aware so they should know sooner.’ (3)
We and many other RSHE experts are keen to work with the new government to help realise a vision of youth-centred and empowering RSHE.
You can respond to the consultation here until the 11 July 2024.
Further information
EVAW’s guide for responding to the Relationships, Sex and Health Education consultation.
Sex Education Forum’s guide to the RSHE consultation.
Amnesty International UK’s response to the draft RSHE guidance.
References
Independent, ‘Backlash over Sunak’s ‘irresponsible’ plans to ban sex education for children under 9.’ (15th May 2024)
Department for Education, ‘Statutory guidance on relationships education, relationships and sex education (RSE) and health education.’ (25th June, 2019)
Sex Education Forum, ‘Young people’s RSE poll 2024’. (11th April 2024)
BBC Three, ‘Section 28: What was it and how did it affect LGBT+ people’. (1st November 2019)
Sex Education Forum, ‘Busting the myths about RSE’. (23 August 2023)
UN Women, ‘LGBTQI+ communities and the anti-rights pushback: 5 things to know.’ (28 May 2024).
Department for Education, ‘Draft Relationships Education, Relationships and Sex Education (RSE) and Health Education’. (16 May 2024).
Pink News, ‘Plan to ban discussion of gender identity in schools branded ‘new section 28’.’ (15th May 2024).
World Health Organisation, ‘Gender and Health’. [accessed online 25th June 2024].
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Our response to the Education Minister
At School of Sexuality Education, we are proud of our inclusive, comprehensive, and evidence-based approach to delivering Relationships and Sex Education. It is something we have always been transparent about and actively promoted. This includes sharing our work directly with parents and carers. We regularly take time to meet with them and not only show them our content, but talk through our approach to those interested in it.
As such, we are baffled by the recent letters issued by the Secretary of State for Education, Gillian Keegan. In these letters the Minister instructs schools and parents, (other carers and guardians of young people appear to be pointedly excluded in the address), on their rights to see teaching materials used by external providers who are delivering content around relationships, sex and health education (RSHE) within schools.
We regularly deliver sessions specifically for parents and carers, as well as working with students within homeschools. We know parents and carers are important stakeholders in meeting children and young peoples’ needs. The Education Minister’s letters portray the relationship between parents and specialist RSHE providers as an adversarial one. Not only is this an unhelpful view, but it also does not accurately reflect our experiences. Most of the parents and carers who take the time to engage with us are pleased (relieved even) that someone is taking the time to start conversations with their children about subjects that they often find embarrassing and difficult to tackle.
This is a sentiment often echoed by teaching staff. The current RSHE curriculum only became a mandatory subject in English schools in 2019 (with a grace period of a year granted due to the difficulties accompanying the pandemic). Since this time very little training, guidance or financial resources have been made available from the central government to support schools in implementing this change. This is especially shameful, considering how important high quality education in this area is to the wellbeing and secure development of young people.
Our organisation is made up of professionals with a range of backgrounds - including healthcare, education, safeguarding, academics and other specialisms. Expert RSE providers like ourselves exist precisely because of this failure to adequately support schools in meeting the RSHE needs of their students. Casting aspersions on the organisations which have come about to fill the gaps left by the government does nothing to improve education in this area.
The Minister’s letters suggest that specialist RSHE providers like ourselves are secretive organisations. This simply isn’t accurate. Like many experts in the field, we are proud of the work that we do and strive to actively promote our approach. We’ve even written a book about it, Sex Ed: An Inclusive Teenage Guide to Sex and Relationships - widely available to anyone with a library card.
When RSHE appears in the headlines, we invariably see an increase in the number of parents and carers who contact us directly. Although as a small charity this can feel overwhelming in terms of our capacity, ultimately it is a chance to engage and include more people who largely want the same thing as us.
Gillian Keegan ends her letter to parents encouraging them to read and respond to the upcoming RSHE review. We would seek and encourage all parents and carers interested in the wellbeing of young people to do the same - not just those who seek to politicise youth wellbeing with the aim of censoring evidence-based RSHE.