YAP Blog: Myths About Vaginas

WRITTEN BY A MEMBER OF SCHOOL OF SEXUALITY EDUCATION’S BRILLIANT YOUTH ADVISORY PANEL (YAP).

Breeanne, aged 17, England.

I first learned about my vagina when I was nine years old. A lesson focusing on puberty explained to me that ‘this is where you bleed from’ and….that’s about it. Further education tended to focus on the internal reproductive organs so I was forced to jump to my own conclusions about vaginas. Encouraged by the wealth of (usually incorrect) information that is available on the internet, I discovered many ‘facts’ that are actually just myths. 

This is an experience I am sure all people will be able to relate to. Maybe no one ever taught you the difference between a vulva and vagina or maybe you’re terrified that ‘too much sex’ will cause your vagina to become ‘loose.’ Below are seven common myths about vaginas and the actual truth behind them. 

Myth #1: ‘Vagina’ is the correct term to describe the entire external genitalia. 

It has become commonplace to use the term vagina to describe all external genitalia despite this being anatomically incorrect. The vagina is one part of what is collectively known as the vulva, the external genitalia that include the mons pubis, urethral opening, labia, clitoris, vaginal opening and perineum. It’s unclear exactly why ‘vagina’ has been adopted as the word of choice when referring to the genitalia but it may be linked to the prominent presence of men in the history of anatomy. Andreas Vesalius (author of ‘On the Fabric of the Human Body’ - a book regarded as one of the most influential works on anatomy) viewed the clitoris as something abnormal; a view that was shared by many other male scientists throughout history (Galen, for example, believed the vagina was an inside-out penis!). Although our understanding of anatomy has improved, the impact of these beliefs still linger in society. It is important to use ‘vulva’ when describing the entire external genitalia so people are able to develop better understanding of their own sexual and reproductive health.

Myth #2: All women have vaginas. 

‘It’s a girl!’ the midwife exclaimed after looking at the baby’s genitals and deciding they fit the textbook description of female genitalia. Due to misconceptions surrounding sex and gender we often automatically assume that if you’re a woman you must have a vagina. However, genitalia is not an indicator of gender and assuming so erases the existence of intersex people, trans and non-binary people.

Neither gender nor sex are binary and women can have many different types of genitalia (vulvas, penises or other variants in sex characteristics). We must move on from this myth in order to create a safer and more inclusive environment for everyone. I’d recommend checking out School of Sexuality Education’s blog post ‘Why is everyone being mean to JK Rowling?’ for more information on this topic.

Myth #3: Vaginal penetration is always painful. 

Sex should be enjoyable for everyone and if sex is causing you discomfort or pain, you can stop. Painful penetration is not something you need to put up with but if you do find vaginal penetration painful this could be linked to a number of things. Using good quality lube and making sure you’re fully in the mood can really help but there are also medical reasons that penetration can be painful, including infections or conditions like vaginismus. If you are finding penetration painful and this is persistent you should get checked out by a doctor.

‘Pleasure’ is not a word that is often included when talking about the sexual experiences of people with vaginas and vulvas. As School of Sexuality Education rightly point out , in the UK government’s new Relationship and Sex Education guidance the word ‘pleasure’ is not mentioned once. This lack of discussion can lead to people assuming that vaginal penetration is always painful, a sentiment that is harmful as it assumes that is OK for sex to be unenjoyable as well as diminishing the experiences of people who experience medical conditions.

Myth #4: Penetrative sex will cause your vagina to become ‘loose.’

The myth that the more sex you have the looser your vagina will become has been used to shame people for having multiple sexual partners for years. The vagina is very elastic so having something temporarily penetrate it will generally not cause permanent changes in the size of the vaginal opening. Vaginas can lose elasticity as people age and that’s completely normal! They may also change shape after childbirth which is why menstrual cups often come in different sizes for people who have and haven’t had a vaginal birth. However, the vaginal opening can also tighten after menopause due to a decrease in oestrogen levels. So, really, the shape and elasticity of your vaginal opening will change over your lifetime regardless of how much or little penetrative sex you have! Ultimately, it’s important to remember that all bodies are different and that they will change differently too!

Myth #5: The ‘hymen’ can show if someone has had penetrative sex.

Last year, rapper T.I received backlash over comments he made on a podcast where he stated that he’s certain his 18-year-old daughter hasn’t had sex as “we have yearly trips to the gynaecologist to check her hymen.” Besides this being an extreme invasion of bodily autonomy, it also reinforces the harmful ‘popping the cherry’ myth in which it is believed that those with vaginas should bleed the first time they have penetrative sex due to the breaking of the ‘hymen.’ First, we should start by addressing what the ‘hymen’ actually is. The ‘hymen’ or vaginal corona is made of a thin piece of tissue located at the opening of the vagina. In most cases, the hymen does not completely cover the opening of the vagina (otherwise how would period blood get out?!) and the amount and thickness of hymenal tissue can vary from person to person. In rare cases, the hymen covers the entire vaginal opening. This is called an imperforate or microperforate hymen and requires medical attention. This myth probably comes from the fact that sometimes the hymen can be stretched the first time someone has penetrative sex which may cause pain or bleeding. However, there are many other reasons your hymen may stretch, including riding a bike or playing sports. It is therefore impossible to tell whether or not someone has had sex simply from looking at their hymen.

Myth #6: Vaginal discharge is a sign something’s wrong. 

Discharge is a completely normal part of having a vagina and it’s actually pretty brilliant! The cervix naturally produces a fluid that is designed to help keep the vagina clean, moist and free from infection. Generally, normal discharge doesn’t have a strong odour or smell, is clear or white and is thick and sticky or slippery and wet.

It is important to note that the appearance and amount of discharge can change throughout your menstrual cycle as well as if you are pregnant or sexually active. Although vaginal discharge is very normal, changes to it can be a sign of infection. If you experience any changes to your discharge that aren’t normal for you, you should go see your doctor.

Myth #7: Douching is the most effective way to clean your vagina. 

With endorsement from celebrities and criticism from healthcare professionals, douching has become a hot topic of conversation in recent years. It is fundamentally a process that involves flushing the vagina with fluid in order to clear it of vaginal secretions (i.e. the all important aforementioned discharge) and is one that is deeply rooted in sexism. Douching was historically used as contraception (NB: douching will definitely not prevent pregnancy) until the widespread availability of the contraceptive pill knocked it from its podium.

Companies therefore turned to shaming women for being ‘unclean’ and suggested that, without douching, they would not be deemed ‘sexually ideal’ by their husbands. Insecurities were preyed on, sales rose and douching placed itself firmly in society. The problem with vaginal douching is that it can disrupt the healthy bacteria and pH levels in your vagina, potentially leading to a whole host of health problems including bacterial vaginosis, vaginal irritation or dryness and pelvic inflammatory disease. It is recommended that the most effective way to clean your vagina is to let it clean itself (which it does resulting in discharge). Washing the vulva with warm water only during a bath or shower is the best way to keep the vulva and vagina's healthy balance of bacteria and pH levels.

Ultimately, understanding vulvas, vaginas and the myths surrounding them is important! Although education has improved in recent years, there will always be myths floating around. Make sure to consider where you are getting your information from and check reputable resources!  

Illustrations by Evie Karkera, unless otherwise credited.

Our book ‘Sex Ed: An Inclusive Teenage Guide to Sex and Relationships’​ ​ is out​ ​now.

YAP Blog: Developing RSE in a pandemic-era America

WRITTEN BY A MEMBER OF SCHOOL OF SEXUALITY EDUCATION’S BRILLIANT YOUTH ADVISORY PANEL (YAP).

Claire, aged 16, Ohio, United States.

On the first day of the sex education unit of health class, our teacher lined up the girls who were to be taken to a different presentation. Myself and the others went to a separate conference room to learn about breast cancer, while those who stayed in the classroom learned about prostate cancer. The class was required of all students in the high school, anywhere from 14 to 18 years old, though most take it as a freshman or sophomore.

At this age, teaching topics like consent, setting boundaries, and contraception is crucial. While contracting STIs as a young person and teen pregnancies are common in the U.S., so are boundary and consent issues. However, these skills are much less likely to be stressed within the classroom. 

These are skills that every person in any physical scenario with another person should have, for example, a platonic cuddle. However, we left the conference room that day with only knowledge of how to do breast self-exams, speculating between ourselves what those who had stayed in the classroom had learned about prostates.

This was hardly enough, but it was all our state required of health programs in public high schools. When it comes to sexuality education, neither medical accuracy nor contraception education is required; the importance of sex within marriage only must be included, and it is required that abstinence is “stressed.” By those metrics, our program had excelled. But, as a rural school near a university town, students from very diverse backgrounds – and having diverse needs – were afforded very little in terms of inclusive content.

As for the rest of the U.S., the truth is: standards vary. The culture of America is double-faceted; on one end, there’s a progressive, liberal outlook, boasting freedom of expression and ideas – a place where anyone can say and do anything. On the other end, there’s a value in tradition, in appreciation of the past. Sexuality education in the U.S. has long been on the latter end. Already, education about physical and mental health relating to sexuality and relationships was vastly different from classroom to classroom, but with COVID-19, the disparities in sex education have become more apparent. Many classrooms toss sexuality education to the side after transitioning to online learning. Already a hush-hush experience in person, why would the basketball coach willingly go over anything but the basics of penis-in-vagina intercourse while students listen in from their family living rooms? There isn’t an incentive to be comprehensive when it isn’t required.

Due to homeschooling during the pandemic, there has been a decline in demand from schools for in-person programs and sexuality education has needed to be taught to students while at home. Inclusive and comprehensive education on the mental, physical, and emotional aspects of sexuality and relationships empowers students to create safe, healthy relationships. This is essential for young people and in-person education can make the experience much safer. With students at home and learning online, it can be harder for teachers to adapt. Student responses will range from very engaged, to feeling out of the loop, to feeling triggered. In addition, teachers may not be able to elicit students’ questions if the students do not feel the environment (online and/or from home) is safe enough. The digital divide can make it harder to create safe spaces for conversation.

What could safe, comprehensive education even look like online? Teachers could encourage anonymous answers to promote safety, include content warnings and the ability for students to have wellness check-ins throughout lessons. They could utilize tools like polls and games to prompt engagement. Is this easy? Not likely, but I believe there is hope. By taking advantage of the necessity for sexuality education online, health programs could start to provide better sexuality education online now. This would help sexuality education become more highly prioritised after transitions to in-person learning.

This may seem like a tall order, but it is absolutely possible. Even though state regulations demand very little of sexuality education programs, classrooms can go above and beyond with dedicated community and individual action. In my own school, a class titled “Sex Education” began to be offered last semester. This class is run by the same school nurse, but with a much wider lens on content. One student who took the course wrote,

“the class… covered subjects the students were interested in, it was really inclusive and… extremely sex positive… everyone in the class was very open and comfortable.”

Seeing my community experience this is infinitely uplifting. And – even though we have a way to go – the seed has been planted for a flourishing generation.

Illustrations by Evie Karkera, unless otherwise credited.

Our book ‘Sex Ed: An Inclusive Teenage Guide to Sex and Relationships’​ ​ is out​ ​now.

School of Sex Ed’s Instagram account censored and deactivated by algorithms

School of sexuality education’s Almaz Ohene explores how internet policies around sexuality are consistently implemented in favour of straight, white, cis male ideas of acceptability

A couple of months ago, in July 2020, the School of Sexuality Education Instagram account was blocked and disabled. 

We received a message from Instagram stating that the account had been deactivated for not following ‘Community Guidelines’ because ‘sexually suggestive content isn’t allowed on Instagram’. This includes ‘posting sexually suggestive photos or other content; soliciting sexual services; using sexually explicit language.’ There was no specific information regarding which post(s) were problematic for Instagram, nor was there any warning of the deactivation. Considering the fun, educational tone of our account, the use of anatomically correct language, and the fact that most of our posts are illustrations this was baffling.

School of Sexuality Education reported this deactivation as an error but heard nothing from Instagram for a week. We went on to report it through Report Harmful Content who contacted their industry partners. After that our account was reactivated but with no further explanation. 

Both the team, and wider supporters of the work we do at School of Sexuality Education, were outraged. That Instagram had deemed the vital Sex Education work we do, to be in breach of the community guidelines, without specifiying what exactly it was that breached them, was beyond frustrating.

A number of independent studies have shown that internet policies around sexuality are consistently implemented in favour of straight, white, cis male ideas of acceptability, and that the censorship of benign Sex Education content on social media platforms is disproportionately harming marginalised communities.

How? Well, automated moderation, or algorithmic models, are used on a huge scale to automatically sort through content posted to social media platforms such as Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, TikTok etc. Facebook’s algorithmic model, for example, has now been programmed to spot commonly used emoji strings – such as the eggplant or peach emoji – which are commonly used to refer to fun sex acts or indicate certain sexual preferences.

Often, social media platforms will ‘shadowban’ – when a social media platform hides content from the algorithm with tactics such as making them invisible in the hashtags, banning liking/commenting, or continuously censoring their content – accounts using vocabulary or hashtags deemed unacceptable.

This means sex educators can’t even use code to talk about the pleasurable aspects of sex, or help LGBTQ+ people find information via hashtags, even when the content is non-explicit.

Salty, an online newsletter and platform for women, trans and non-binary people, conducted some research in 2019, which reported that that plus-sized profiles were often flagged on Instagram for “excessive nudity” and “sexual solicitation”, and concluded that “risqué content featuring thin, cis white women seems to be less censored than content featuring plus-sized, black, queer women.”

It also found that people who come under attack for identifying as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, for example, have had their accounts reported or banned instead of the attacker. And later this year, it also reported that wheelchair user Alex Dacy (a.k.a. @wheelchair_rapunzel) had her picture, below, banned, even though it was inspired by an accepted Kim Kardashian West photo.

It is truly saddening how common real-life structures of oppression are being replicated online through this inherently biased automated moderation and censorship. It sends a deeply upsetting message, that only homogeneity is acceptable. School of Sexuality Education’s work is focused on dismantling these norms and online communities have the opportunity to help us do this work, but instead we are forced to stick to the same tired tropes.

Facebook also does not allow the mention of sexual pleasure in adverts for contraceptives. Instead, the focus must be “on the contraceptive features of the product.” A dichotomy exists because a cis man’s ability to have an erection is considered a health concern, based on the biological fact that a man must orgasm in order to procreate. As a result, male sexual wellness brands are considered morally acceptable as ‘family planning products’. Women, however, don’t need to experience an orgasm in order to procreate, so any information that exists solely to grant women pleasure is considered a ‘vice’ by Facebook.

This academic year sees Sex and Relationship Education become compulsory for all schools in England for the first time, hooray! But without being able to voice questions about the topic on social media, – which, as we know, is where young people spend a large proprtion of their time – they will still be left with the misconception that anything sex-related is taboo. And that’s the opposite of our ethos here at School of Sexuality Education. Social media bods, this is getting really tired – sort it out!

Illustrations by Evie Karkera, unless otherwise credited.

Our book ‘Sex Ed: An Inclusive Teenage Guide to Sex and Relationships’​ ​ is out​ ​now.