YAP Blog: Bridgerton: Normas de género, feminismo y patriarcado

ESCRITO POR UNA DE LAS INTEGRANTES DEL BRILLANTE GRUPO ASESOR DE JÓVENES DE SCHOOL OF SEXUALITY EDUCATION

Jazmín, 18 años, Argentina

English version available here.

Siendo el show más visto de Netflix, Bridgerton demostró cómo la cultura patriarcal ha afectado todos los aspectos de nuestras vidas desde el principio de los tiempos. En este artículo, voy a analizar y destacar algunos de los conflictos que el show aborda.

Basado en la novela de Julia Quinn's, este drama está ambientado en la alta sociedad de Londres en el periodo Regencia, durante la temporada social, donde las debutantes hacen su entrada dentro del “mercado matrimonial”, como Lady Whistledown, la narradora de la serie, lo llama.

“Mercado matrimonial” puede no hacer sentido cuando pensamos en casarnos, sin embargo, algunas de sus características han sido preservadas hasta nuestro presente, como voy a explicar.

ROLES DE GÉNERO

En el primer episodio, las debutantes son presentadas ante la reina, quien las juzga en base a su apariencia. Este hecho significa todo para estas jóvenes, hasta el punto donde una de ellas se desmaya debido a su ajustado corsé. Esto puede parecer una exageración, pero es cierto que, incluso hoy en día, muchas mujeres, en especial las adolescentes, sufren de trastornos alimenticios a causa de los estereotipos que imponen que ser más delgada es ser más bonita.

Mientras el episodio continúa, Daphne, el personaje principal, tiene que obedecer a su hermano mayor sólo porque es “el hombre de la casa”. Por esta razón, no puede bailar con nadie, incluso si así lo desea. De acuerdo con su hermano, debe dejar a los hombres “queriendo más”, de otra forma, sería vista como una mujer sinvergüenza que lleva una vida sexual activa. Este juicio sigue sucediendo diariamente, categorizando a las mujeres que viven con libertad como de menor valor que aquellas que se conforman con las normas.

Algo similar ocurre cuando Daphne y el Duque de Hastings, su futuro marido, se besan en el jardín antes de casarse. Anthony, su hermano mayor, lxs encuentra y, en consecuencia, debe traer el honor de nuevo a su familia, convirtiendo a Daphne en la  víctima y la culpable al mismo tiempo. Es categorizada como una puta y una niña, incapaz de valerse por sí misma. Al mismo tiempo, un hombre tiene que tomar responsabilidad por ello, demostrando lo que “ser un hombre” significa.

Daphne: “¿Crees que sólo por ser mujer soy incapaz de tomar mis propias decisiones?”, “¿Te importa que Simon me haya deshonrado, como dices, o es tu orgullo de hombre el que quieres satisfacer?”

Este rol de género parece afectar no sólo a Anthony, sino también al Duque, cuyo deber como hombre fue determinado desde el día en el que nació, siendo tan sólo un bebé, lo cual parece ser algo moderno. Incluso antes de nacer, las personas comienzan a asumir gustos y comportamientos que lx recién nacidx debería tener acorde a su sexo asignado en el nacimiento. Si es una mujer, entonces deberá de gustarle el rosa y deberá ser amorosa, respetuosa, encantadora y bondadosa. Si es un hombre, entonces deberá de gustarle el azul y deberá ser valiente, disciplinado, impasible y bondadoso, pero no de la misma manera en la que las mujeres lo son, sino que tienen que ser dominantes.

Esto ocurre en otra conversación, cuando Anthony le ofrece el dote de Daphne, el cual se rehúsa a aceptar, afirmando que “Su bienestar es mi responsabilidad ahora”. Esto no sólo significa una enorme responsabilidad para Simon, el Duque, sino que también sentencia a Daphne a una vida de obediencia, reflejando los estereotipos ilustrados en el párrafo anterior.

FEMINISMO

En los ocho capítulos, diversos pensamientos revolucionarios son ilustrados. Todas las mujeres en la serie reconocen que hay una diferencia entre el poder que las mujeres y los hombres tienen. Siendo conscientes de ello, son capaces de volcar los estereotipos a su favor. Divulgan un rumor para evadir el matrimonio de Daphne con alguien con quien ella no se quiere casar.

Daphne: “¿Quién les creerá a unas mujeres contra la palabra de un hombre?”

Violeta, madre de Daphne: “Pero lo creerán si Lady Whistledown nos cree. Así que haremos lo que las mujeres hacen. Hablaremos.”

Incluso si esto puede posicionar a Lady Whistledown como la voz más poderosa, Eloise, la hermana menor de Daphne, remarca que “Whistledown es mujer. Por lo tanto, no tiene nada. Tu eres hombre. Por lo tanto, lo tienes todo.”

Eloise es el personaje más controversial del drama. Es abierta respecto a sus ideas y no está asustada de expresar su enojo hacia la cultura patriarcal. Explora las bases del patriarcado y los detalles más complejos que oprimen a las mujeres. Al principio, sólo está preocupada por su futuro, “¿Por qué nuestras únicas opciones son graznar y casarse o no abandonar el nido?, ¿Qué tal si yo quiero volar?”, “¿Te digo lo que sí es un logro? ¡Asistir a la universidad! Si fuera hombre yo podría hacer eso.”

Luego, comienza a preocuparse por otras mujeres que conoce como, por ejemplo, la sirvienta de Penélope, quien está embarazada y soltera, pero planea escaparse con el padre del bebé, lo cual únicamente incrementa la preocupación de Eloise: “Son suficientes razones para tener miedo. Cuando se case su vida terminará. Eso no es un escape Penélope.”

Finalmente, es capaz de expresar sus ideas contra el patriarcado cuando conversa sobre una pintura con Penélope, demostrando que todas las mujeres parecen ser afectadas por el machismo, y no sólo ella. “Es porque estas pinturas fueron hechas por hombres que ven a las mujeres como objetos decorativos.”

A su vez, muestra rechazo al pensar en el estilo de vida de su hermana mayor, y no duda en cuestionarla, “Daphne tal vez esté enamorada, ¿Cree que eso es un logro?, ¿Qué es lo que ha logrado? No horneó a ese hombre, ni lo fabricó, simplemente apareció.”

Daphne, al contrario, no es tan determinada como Eloise, pero frecuentemente muestra cansancio.

Daphne: “No tienes idea de lo que es ser mujer", "Esto es para lo que fui educada, […] No tengo otro valor.”

Estas líneas muestran cómo realmente se siente sobre la presión de casarse y de ser madre, incluso si eso es lo que desea. Definitivamente, esta es una presión que muchas mujeres sienten, especialmente cuando deciden que no quieren ejercer la maternidad. Incluso si nadie las juzga directamente, lo cual es casi imposible, deben de lidiar con la misoginia internalizada, la cual las hace sentir indignas e incompletas.

FALTA DE INFORMACIÓN

Es claro que hoy en día contamos con más información sexual y otras cuestiones relacionadas ya no son tabú, pero el misterio innecesario alrededor de este tema sigue siendo parte de nuestra sociedad.

Desde el segundo episodio podemos ver a lxs personajes siendo curiosxs respecto a cosas que pueden parecernos obvias, tales como de qué manera ocurre la concepción. Eloise, siendo una adolescente, no cuenta con esta información, “¿Cómo es que una mujer queda en cinta?” Ni siquiera Daphne, quién ya está casada, “Si es tan difícil decirlo, ¿Qué tan difícil va a ser llevarlo a cabo?” En ambos casos, se sienten asustadas, debido a la posibilidad de quedar embarazadas antes del matrimonio o por lo que el “acto marital” es.

Para estas hermanas no hay respuestas claras, lo cual incrementa su confusión y juega un papel fundamental en el show. Por ejemplo, cuando los hermanos de Eloise intentan explicarle, su madre se rehúsa, “Espero que ustedes dos no alienten temas impropios en la conversación.” Mientras esto puede parecer lejano a nuestra realidad, el sexo es frecuentemente explicado con metáforas a personas que cuentan con la capacidad de entender. Esto se añade al hecho de que el sexo es, la mayoría de las veces, explicado desde un punto de vista heteronormativo, lo cual incrementa la confusión y el miedo, sentimientos que debían haber sido dejados atrás hace décadas.

AGRESIÓN SEXUAL

La mayoría de lxs espectadores de Bridgerton se dieron cuenta de que hay una escena dónde Daphne es acosada por un hombre. Ella estaba en el jardín sola cuando este hombre apareció y comenzó a acercarse, tratando de besarla y  tocarla. Afortunadamente, después de decir “basta” repetidas veces, logra escapar.

Desafortunadamente, esto sigue sucediendo. De hecho, el 78% de mujeres han experimentado abuso en un lugar público1. El mismo sentimiento de culpa que Daphne tuvo, se replica en cada víctima. Al mismo tiempo, se siente aterrada de que alguien lo sepa, porque sería un escándalo para ella. Esto está sucediendo ahora, todos los días, cuando estos crímenes se hacen públicos surgen preguntas como: “¿Por qué estaba sola de noche, vestida así?, ¿Qué hizo para provocarlo?, ¿Por qué no se defendió?”, culpando a la víctima.

Daphne: “Y yo estoy sola, con dos hombres. […] Quedaré comprometida de cualquier forma. ¿Tiene idea de que pasaría si alguien llegara a sugerir que yo…?”

Finalmente, hay otra escena que muestra una agresión sexual. Cuando Daphne descubre cómo tener sexo para quedar embarazada, fuerza a Simon a eyacular dentro de ella, cuando, claramente, él no quiere.

Puede ser sorpresivo el darse cuenta que esto está categorizado como una agresión sexual, a causa de que Daphne es vulnerable durante todo el show y los hombres siendo las víctimas no es algo que sea comúnmente conversado, muchas veces frases como “Los hombres siempre quieren tener sexo”, “Fue muy afortunado, si fuera yo no me quejaría” son dichas, estableciendo que ser violado o abusado siendo hombre es algo de lo que estar orgulloso, sin ningún otro sentimiento que puede ser negativo siendo involucrado.

Además, la mayoría de personas no se imaginarían a Daphne como una agresora. La imagen estereotípica de como unx agresorx debería verse sigue afectando la forma en

que las víctimas de cualquier tipo de violencia sexual pueden contar lo que sucedió.  Esto también afecta la fiabilidad del testimonio que las víctimas pueden dar sobre la agresión que sufrieron.

Bridgerton es perfecta para discutir asuntos relacionados con el sexo, el género, la salud física y mental. Considero que los roles de género, el feminismo, la falta de información referida al sexo y las agresiones sexuales son los temas más impactantes e interesantes. El creador, Chris Van Dusen, y la productora, Shonda Rhimes, lograron mostrar conflictos que usualmente son escondidos, pero también fueron capaces de poner en discusión problemas actuales, trabajando con una novela basada en 1813. Finalmente, estoy emocionada por ver qué otras situaciones remarcables sucederán en la próxima temporada y, sobre todo, estoy especialmente interesada en observar cómo los personajes femeninos cuestionan, incluso más, las estructuras patriarcales.

YAP Blog: Myths About Vaginas

WRITTEN BY A MEMBER OF SCHOOL OF SEXUALITY EDUCATION’S BRILLIANT YOUTH ADVISORY PANEL (YAP).

Breeanne, aged 17, England.

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I first learned about my vagina when I was nine years old. A lesson focusing on puberty explained to me that ‘this is where you bleed from’ and….that’s about it. Further education tended to focus on the internal reproductive organs so I was forced to jump to my own conclusions about vaginas. Encouraged by the wealth of (usually incorrect) information that is available on the internet, I discovered many ‘facts’ that are actually just myths. 

This is an experience I am sure all people will be able to relate to. Maybe no one ever taught you the difference between a vulva and vagina or maybe you’re terrified that ‘too much sex’ will cause your vagina to become ‘loose.’ Below are seven common myths about vaginas and the actual truth behind them. 

Myth #1: ‘Vagina’ is the correct term to describe the entire external genitalia. 

It has become commonplace to use the term vagina to describe all external genitalia despite this being anatomically incorrect. The vagina is one part of what is collectively known as the vulva, the external genitalia that include the mons pubis, urethral opening, labia, clitoris, vaginal opening and perineum. It’s unclear exactly why ‘vagina’ has been adopted as the word of choice when referring to the genitalia but it may be linked to the prominent presence of men in the history of anatomy. Andreas Vesalius (author of ‘On the Fabric of the Human Body’ - a book regarded as one of the most influential works on anatomy) viewed the clitoris as something abnormal; a view that was shared by many other male scientists throughout history (Galen, for example, believed the vagina was an inside-out penis!). Although our understanding of anatomy has improved, the impact of these beliefs still linger in society. It is important to use ‘vulva’ when describing the entire external genitalia so people are able to develop better understanding of their own sexual and reproductive health.

Myth #2: All women have vaginas. 

‘It’s a girl!’ the midwife exclaimed after looking at the baby’s genitals and deciding they fit the textbook description of female genitalia. Due to misconceptions surrounding sex and gender we often automatically assume that if you’re a woman you must have a vagina. However, genitalia is not an indicator of gender and assuming so erases the existence of intersex people, trans and non-binary people.

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Neither gender nor sex are binary and women can have many different types of genitalia (vulvas, penises or other variants in sex characteristics). We must move on from this myth in order to create a safer and more inclusive environment for everyone. I’d recommend checking out School of Sexuality Education’s blog post ‘Why is everyone being mean to JK Rowling?’ for more information on this topic.

Myth #3: Vaginal penetration is always painful. 

Sex should be enjoyable for everyone and if sex is causing you discomfort or pain, you can stop. Painful penetration is not something you need to put up with but if you do find vaginal penetration painful this could be linked to a number of things. Using good quality lube and making sure you’re fully in the mood can really help but there are also medical reasons that penetration can be painful, including infections or conditions like vaginismus. If you are finding penetration painful and this is persistent you should get checked out by a doctor.

‘Pleasure’ is not a word that is often included when talking about the sexual experiences of people with vaginas and vulvas. As School of Sexuality Education rightly point out , in the UK government’s new Relationship and Sex Education guidance the word ‘pleasure’ is not mentioned once. This lack of discussion can lead to people assuming that vaginal penetration is always painful, a sentiment that is harmful as it assumes that is OK for sex to be unenjoyable as well as diminishing the experiences of people who experience medical conditions.

Myth #4: Penetrative sex will cause your vagina to become ‘loose.’

The myth that the more sex you have the looser your vagina will become has been used to shame people for having multiple sexual partners for years. The vagina is very elastic so having something temporarily penetrate it will generally not cause permanent changes in the size of the vaginal opening. Vaginas can lose elasticity as people age and that’s completely normal! They may also change shape after childbirth which is why menstrual cups often come in different sizes for people who have and haven’t had a vaginal birth. However, the vaginal opening can also tighten after menopause due to a decrease in oestrogen levels. So, really, the shape and elasticity of your vaginal opening will change over your lifetime regardless of how much or little penetrative sex you have! Ultimately, it’s important to remember that all bodies are different and that they will change differently too!

Myth #5: The ‘hymen’ can show if someone has had penetrative sex.

Last year, rapper T.I received backlash over comments he made on a podcast where he stated that he’s certain his 18-year-old daughter hasn’t had sex as “we have yearly trips to the gynaecologist to check her hymen.” Besides this being an extreme invasion of bodily autonomy, it also reinforces the harmful ‘popping the cherry’ myth in which it is believed that those with vaginas should bleed the first time they have penetrative sex due to the breaking of the ‘hymen.’ First, we should start by addressing what the ‘hymen’ actually is. The ‘hymen’ or vaginal corona is made of a thin piece of tissue located at the opening of the vagina. In most cases, the hymen does not completely cover the opening of the vagina (otherwise how would period blood get out?!) and the amount and thickness of hymenal tissue can vary from person to person. In rare cases, the hymen covers the entire vaginal opening. This is called an imperforate or microperforate hymen and requires medical attention. This myth probably comes from the fact that sometimes the hymen can be stretched the first time someone has penetrative sex which may cause pain or bleeding. However, there are many other reasons your hymen may stretch, including riding a bike or playing sports. It is therefore impossible to tell whether or not someone has had sex simply from looking at their hymen.

Myth #6: Vaginal discharge is a sign something’s wrong. 

Discharge is a completely normal part of having a vagina and it’s actually pretty brilliant! The cervix naturally produces a fluid that is designed to help keep the vagina clean, moist and free from infection. Generally, normal discharge doesn’t have a strong odour or smell, is clear or white and is thick and sticky or slippery and wet.

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It is important to note that the appearance and amount of discharge can change throughout your menstrual cycle as well as if you are pregnant or sexually active. Although vaginal discharge is very normal, changes to it can be a sign of infection. If you experience any changes to your discharge that aren’t normal for you, you should go see your doctor.

Myth #7: Douching is the most effective way to clean your vagina. 

With endorsement from celebrities and criticism from healthcare professionals, douching has become a hot topic of conversation in recent years. It is fundamentally a process that involves flushing the vagina with fluid in order to clear it of vaginal secretions (i.e. the all important aforementioned discharge) and is one that is deeply rooted in sexism. Douching was historically used as contraception (NB: douching will definitely not prevent pregnancy) until the widespread availability of the contraceptive pill knocked it from its podium.

Companies therefore turned to shaming women for being ‘unclean’ and suggested that, without douching, they would not be deemed ‘sexually ideal’ by their husbands. Insecurities were preyed on, sales rose and douching placed itself firmly in society. The problem with vaginal douching is that it can disrupt the healthy bacteria and pH levels in your vagina, potentially leading to a whole host of health problems including bacterial vaginosis, vaginal irritation or dryness and pelvic inflammatory disease. It is recommended that the most effective way to clean your vagina is to let it clean itself (which it does resulting in discharge). Washing the vulva with warm water only during a bath or shower is the best way to keep the vulva and vagina's healthy balance of bacteria and pH levels.

Ultimately, understanding vulvas, vaginas and the myths surrounding them is important! Although education has improved in recent years, there will always be myths floating around. Make sure to consider where you are getting your information from and check reputable resources!  

Illustrations by Evie Karkera, unless otherwise credited.

Our book ‘Sex Ed: An Inclusive Teenage Guide to Sex and Relationships’​is out​ ​now.

YAP Blog: Developing RSE in a pandemic-era America

WRITTEN BY A MEMBER OF SCHOOL OF SEXUALITY EDUCATION’S BRILLIANT YOUTH ADVISORY PANEL (YAP).

Claire, aged 16, Ohio, United States.

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On the first day of the sex education unit of health class, our teacher lined up the girls who were to be taken to a different presentation. Myself and the others went to a separate conference room to learn about breast cancer, while those who stayed in the classroom learned about prostate cancer. The class was required of all students in the high school, anywhere from 14 to 18 years old, though most take it as a freshman or sophomore.

At this age, teaching topics like consent, setting boundaries, and contraception is crucial. While contracting STIs as a young person and teen pregnancies are common in the U.S., so are boundary and consent issues. However, these skills are much less likely to be stressed within the classroom. 

These are skills that every person in any physical scenario with another person should have, for example, a platonic cuddle. However, we left the conference room that day with only knowledge of how to do breast self-exams, speculating between ourselves what those who had stayed in the classroom had learned about prostates.

This was hardly enough, but it was all our state required of health programs in public high schools. When it comes to sexuality education, neither medical accuracy nor contraception education is required; the importance of sex within marriage only must be included, and it is required that abstinence is “stressed.” By those metrics, our program had excelled. But, as a rural school near a university town, students from very diverse backgrounds – and having diverse needs – were afforded very little in terms of inclusive content.

As for the rest of the U.S., the truth is: standards vary. The culture of America is double-faceted; on one end, there’s a progressive, liberal outlook, boasting freedom of expression and ideas – a place where anyone can say and do anything. On the other end, there’s a value in tradition, in appreciation of the past. Sexuality education in the U.S. has long been on the latter end. Already, education about physical and mental health relating to sexuality and relationships was vastly different from classroom to classroom, but with COVID-19, the disparities in sex education have become more apparent. Many classrooms toss sexuality education to the side after transitioning to online learning. Already a hush-hush experience in person, why would the basketball coach willingly go over anything but the basics of penis-in-vagina intercourse while students listen in from their family living rooms? There isn’t an incentive to be comprehensive when it isn’t required.

Due to homeschooling during the pandemic, there has been a decline in demand from schools for in-person programs and sexuality education has needed to be taught to students while at home. Inclusive and comprehensive education on the mental, physical, and emotional aspects of sexuality and relationships empowers students to create safe, healthy relationships. This is essential for young people and in-person education can make the experience much safer. With students at home and learning online, it can be harder for teachers to adapt. Student responses will range from very engaged, to feeling out of the loop, to feeling triggered. In addition, teachers may not be able to elicit students’ questions if the students do not feel the environment (online and/or from home) is safe enough. The digital divide can make it harder to create safe spaces for conversation.

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What could safe, comprehensive education even look like online? Teachers could encourage anonymous answers to promote safety, include content warnings and the ability for students to have wellness check-ins throughout lessons. They could utilize tools like polls and games to prompt engagement. Is this easy? Not likely, but I believe there is hope. By taking advantage of the necessity for sexuality education online, health programs could start to provide better sexuality education online now. This would help sexuality education become more highly prioritised after transitions to in-person learning.

This may seem like a tall order, but it is absolutely possible. Even though state regulations demand very little of sexuality education programs, classrooms can go above and beyond with dedicated community and individual action. In my own school, a class titled “Sex Education” began to be offered last semester. This class is run by the same school nurse, but with a much wider lens on content. One student who took the course wrote,

“the class… covered subjects the students were interested in, it was really inclusive and… extremely sex positive… everyone in the class was very open and comfortable.”

Seeing my community experience this is infinitely uplifting. And – even though we have a way to go – the seed has been planted for a flourishing generation.

Illustrations by Evie Karkera, unless otherwise credited.

Our book ‘Sex Ed: An Inclusive Teenage Guide to Sex and Relationships’​is out​ ​now.