School of Sexuality Education Conference 2019

What does sex education fit for the 21st Century look like?

Illustration by Evie Karkera

Illustration by Evie Karkera

We live in an age of increasing digital connectivity: we no longer develop our relationships, or express and understand our identity through face-to-face interactions alone. Particularly for those at school, online and offline worlds are no longer distinct entities, and play ever more significant part in their learning, personal interactions and well-being.

But, this change is taking place at such a rate that we are failing to adequately support young people to navigate digitally-facilitated issues such as unsolicited dick pics, online harassment, image-based abuse, trolling, targeted advertising, body shaming posts, internet misinformation and more.

This year, our annual conference asked how we can provide sex education fit for the 21st Century; what does this need to address and how can we do that? Below are the talks, panels and workshops which tackled this from various angles:

During the day, School of Sexuality Education’s Andy Thornton created the fantastic images below, capturing the discussion and themes explored.

For more information about our events please contact info@schoolofsexed.org

Our book ‘Sex Ed: An Inclusive Teenage Guide to Sex and Relationships’​ ​ is out​ ​now.

An open letter to the BBC

Transphobia in the media needs to stop.

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This morning I listened to Justin Webb interview Jo Swinson about her stance on transgender rights and her proposed changes to the Gender Recognition Act. I work for an inclusive, comprehensive and feminist sex and relationships education organisation (School of Sexuality Education) as a researcher and teacher and was appalled to hear Justin's line of questioning (more like attack) on trans rights. The language he used contributes to a media representation of trans people as deviant and dangerous - this needs to be recognised and addressed.

Further to this, he positioned one question by suggesting that feminists are against trans women accessing refuge and support because it puts cisgender women at risk. In my experience, the vast majority of feminists do not support this view and would deem it transphobic. All women experience an increased and gendered risk of sexual violence and trans women, in fact, experience a heightened risk based on Stonewall research. The safety of trans women and cis women should not be a zero-sum game and to suggest that it is misses the point of feminism entirely. All women are women and all deserve protection and respect.

I'm honestly stunned that this kind of offensive and dehumanising rhetoric is being used by a BBC interviewer and feel strongly that Justin Webb owes trans and feminist communities a sincere apology. Words have consequences.

Written by a School of Sexuality Education facilitator to the BBC on 09 December 2019.

Illustrations by Evie Karkera, unless otherwise credited.

Our book ‘Sex Ed: An Inclusive Teenage Guide to Sex and Relationships’​ ​ is out​ ​now.

What is sex positivity?

SOPHIE WHITEHEAD SPEAKS TO THE SCHOOL OF SEXUALITY EDUCATION TEAM ABOUT WHAT SEX POSITIVITY MEANS TO THEM.

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In our work with young people, we always advocate for a sex positive approach both in the classroom and in general. Sometimes the term can generate a bit of confusion with different interpretations and definitions contradicting one another. This post is about what we take sex positivity to be; how it helps us to frame school workshops and understand the place of sex and sexuality in people’s lives.

If you Google ‘sex positivity’, you’ll find several lists of what is isn’t. These lists rightfully state that sex positivity isn’t about promoting sex, always liking sex, encouraging others to have sex or always talking about sex. Rather, it’s about communicating, respecting, being curious and being open. I spoke to some members of the School of Sexuality Education team to hear their take on the term and their thoughts contributed to the ideas complied here…

Firstly, sex positivity is about communicating without shame or embarrassment. It could be talking to sexual partners about likes and dislikes, wants and needs. It could also be listening to partners about their preferences and, most importantly, being able to have this dialogue in a non-judgemental, honest and open way. This communication goes beyond the here and now too - sex positivity could mean being open to listening to a partner’s past sexual experiences or, conversely, respecting when a partner doesn’t want to have those conversations. The communication should ultimately be a source of empowerment between all people involved to ensure they feel safe, respected and can have fun!

While non-judgemental communication with partners is crucial, sex positivity goes beyond conversations in sexual relationships. It can also be a part of communication between children and families when growing up, or teachers and students at school, about destigmatising masturbation or giving young people the space to ask questions when they do want to explore their sexuality with a partner. The ability to engage in these discussions without shame or taboo is essential for sexual pleasure but it’s also essential for understanding safety and consent. Talking about sex removes its mystique and ensures young people know their rights.

Practising talking about sex as part of sex positivity is also important so that we avoid making assumptions about how someone wants to engage in sex or who with. It means stepping away from heteronormative and monogamy-based assumptions and, instead, working to understand our own and each other’s desires openly and without presumption. There are a variety of sexual preferences and practices – we’re all a little different. Being sex positive is about accepting and learning about that diversity in order to approach sex with a nuanced awareness of everybody’s multi-faceted, fluid sexual identity.

This includes being non-judgemental and accepting about sexual practices that are considered to deviate from the norm. It also means recognising that some people may not want to engage in sex or may want specific limits on this. It’s important to recognise and validate people who are asexual or demisexual, for example. Even though sex is healthy and ‘normal’, it’s not a necessary part of a healthy and normal life. According to School of Sexuality Education facilitator Almaz, ‘we live in a time and a culture where sexuality is conflated with sex acts most of the time and that needn’t be the case, so, for me, sex positivity is about accepting the full spectrum of sexuality.’

This acceptance of the full spectrum of sexuality applies to all ages too. For children, questions about sex and sexuality come from a place of curiosity. School of Sexuality Education facilitator Charlie advocates for the notion of ‘positive curiosity’. This means never judging but asking questions to understand other people’s perspectives and experiences and being open to learning from them. Too often, the curiosity we have around sex and our own sexual desires is framed as negative or taboo, cloaking the topic in feelings of shame. Interpreting this curiosity through sex positivity reimagines it and dismantles the oppressive framework of taboo and judgement, instead creating space for communication and open exploration.

Ultimately, sex positivity is about being non-judgemental, openly communicating and reducing embarrassment around sexuality in its many forms. Research has shown that sex-negativity and shame-oriented narratives have been linked to social problems such as homophobia, sexism, racism and gaps in sex education. Sex positivity can challenge this by avoiding stereotyping and dehumanising language which can prevent people from having important conversations around consent, pleasure and sexual health. Sex positivity isn’t about shouting sex stories or always thinking sex is great. It’s about recognising and affirming the sexual aspect of each person’s identity with all its nuances, wants, questions and needs – shame- and stigma-free.

Thanks to the School of Sexuality Education facilitators Emma, Gayathiri, Almaz, Charlie and Bex for sharing your thoughts for this post.

Illustrations by Evie Karkera, unless otherwise credited.

Our book ‘Sex Ed: An Inclusive Teenage Guide to Sex and Relationships’​ ​ is out​ ​now.

Our take on the school uniform debate

School of Sexuality Education’s Sophie Whitehead explains the issue with school dress codes, and what needs to change.

School uniform is a long-contested topic in British education circles, so much so that it’s now become an overused classroom debate motion for the students themselves. Supporters of traditional school wear think it’s democratic, fosters a sense of school community and improves student focus during lesson time. Conversely, and in our view, more accurately, some argue that it creates additional expense for parents, limits self-expression and has to be policed by teachers, ultimately creating a disruption to learning. As those who spend time in schools will know, uniforms are rarely as democratic as they seem.

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The gendered aspect of school uniforms is also at the centre of the debate. Uniform is problematic for non-binary, gender questioning or transitioning students who are made to exist within a system of boy/girl. The enforced binary undermines students’ rights to gender neutrality, fluidity and experimentation and therefore undermines the message of inclusivity and LGBTQ+ support which many schools ostensibly advocate.

In some schools, gender-neutral uniforms have been introduced in a bid to address some of these issues. Though well-intentioned, in practice, these policies can make the whole uniform masculine by enforcing ‘trousers for all’ type rules. Masculinity is coded as neutral whereas femininity is, well, feminine. Alternatively, some schools adopt a gender-neutral uniform policy by stating that all students can wear anything from the clothes available – i.e. ‘girls can wear trousers’. Again, though this is a well-meaning shift, in practice, social convention can mean that girls feel uncomfortable making that shift and so everything carries on as it was.

On top of these problems, we know that school uniform is inherently sexist. Even though many schools now offer trousers for girls to wear, the tightness of those trousers is routinely monitored and disciplined. If not trousers, girls are expected to wear skirts and thin blouses. The length of skirts is measured and the thinness of blouses leads to comments on bras seen through clothing and more. In some draconian cases, girls’ skirts have been blamed for distracting male peers and making male teachers feel uncomfortable. A self-evidently victim blaming suggestion. Add to that the itchy synthetic fabric of tights in the winter months and many girls are left with a choice between cold and discomfort.  

One student we work with commented, “I think it’s important not to call out a girl if they’re wearing too short a skirt or too low cut a top etc in front of the whole class because that’s humiliating, one of my teachers said to a girl “your skirt is very short” and then something along the lines of it’s not covering much. I thought that was really unnecessary, could have easily been said in a more respectful and private way.”

This isolated anecdote exists in different iterations in classrooms nationwide and demonstrates the way sexism and school uniform interact. Though it’s been argued that it’s is all in favour of smartness and pseudo-professionalism, misogynistic ideas about what constitutes professional clothing are evident in school dress codes. From skirt lengths to exposed collar bones, uniform enforcement goes hand in hand with the sexualisation of young women. It’s a uniquely gendered phenomenon.

At School of Sexuality Education, the work we do seeks to counter rape culture, victim blaming, binaries and body shaming. It seems that school uniform in its current form, even with attempts at gender neutrality, undermines the messages we often share in classrooms. Though some educators have tried, it’s hard to know whether a progressive uniform policy can exist, given the legacy it would be following on from. With this in mind, for us, no uniform is the way forward. We advocate for school policies which allow all young people the freedom to dress in a way that feels right and comfortable for them. No gender rules. No skirt measuring. No sexism. No binaries.

Illustrations by Evie Karkera, unless otherwise credited.

Our book ‘Sex Ed: An Inclusive Teenage Guide to Sex and Relationships’​ ​ is out​ ​now.

How to teach about sexual health: empowerment instead of shame

teaching methods used to help young people understand the importance of safe sex often use shame and shock to get the message across - but this is ineffective and even harmful.

Showing pictures of genitalia presenting symptoms of sexually transmitted infections has long been used a way to teach young people about the risks of unprotected sex. The rationale given is that these pictures shock students into taking sexual health seriously. However, despite the widespread use of this teaching device, School of Sexuality Education argues that not only is this method ineffective in aiding students’ learning, but it can also instil attitudes that negatively impact someone’s sexual health.

The distraction the pictures create inhibits learning

For most students, these images will be the first time a teacher has shown them a photo of genitals in school. Whilst we live in a society where grown adults use euphasisms to talk about the gentials, young people cannot be expected to respond in a way other than with shock and horror - and in fact, the learning outcomes are reliant on their collective disgust. But this emotional response creates a distraction which means students will be less able to productively engage with the key learning messages about sexual health. Sexual health, as with all aspects of physical well-being should be approached with a calm, rational and positive mindset: this is feeling we should aim to create in RSE.

The key learning messages are misleading

Evie Karkera illustrations

Importantly, focussing on symptoms of STIs can skew a vital learning messages: that a large proportion of STIs are asymptomatic. By looking closly at symptoms students could be left with the inaccurate impression that they will have visible symptoms if they have an STI (not necessarily); symptoms look the same for everyone (they don’t, of course); and that they could self-diagnose through learning about these symptoms (definitely not). Effective sexual health teaching therefore focusses on prevention and good personal health practise. This involves learning about different methods of protection and correct use; when to get tested; what testing involves (stressing that STI screening is very normal, sensible and should be treated as just another part of your personal self-care); getting to know your own body; and the importance of open and accurate communication with sexual parters and medical professionals.

The shame associated with sex is detrimental

There is still an enormous amount of stigma surrounding sex and sexual health. This culture of shame directly damages the attitudes and behaviours we need to promote in order to reduce sexually transmitted infections. Namely, we must feel empowered and confident in order to discuss using protection; to access sexual health services with the recommended frequency; and to communicate any relevant information to both medical professionals and sexual partners.

The affected response of the class - again, arguably the intended response - is one of repulsion. This crowd-judgement of a picture of someone’s genitalia with an infection is extremely powerful for contributing to our internalised shame around our bodies and sexual health. It reminds us that our genital health is something that is shameful and should be kept a closely-guarded secret, otherwise we will be subject to this same disgrace. Our response, naturally, may be that we avoid or delay speaking up, to the detriment of ourselves and others.

All of this raises the question: why have these photos stuck as a teaching strategy for so long? Most likely, because they align with the long-standing trend of abstinence-based SRE, in which scare tactics are used to try and discourage people from having sex. It’s time we move onto a scientifically accurate, empowering and useful approach, which young people need and deserve.

Our book ‘Sex Ed: An Inclusive Teenage Guide to Sex and Relationships’​ ​ is out​ ​now.

Internet disinformation: The blue waffle myth

By Dr emma Chan

Sometimes being a facilitator for School of Sexuality Education involves attempting to hold the attention of young people through wit, honesty and sheer confidence as you explain a specific curriculum point as your unembarrassable self. At other times it involves asking questions your audience may not have considered before and standing back whilst a tide of answers hits you.

“Can anyone name any sexually transmitted infections?” My colleague asked of a group of year 10 students just outside of London. Three of us were delivering a workshop on sexual health. This was definitely going to be one of the latter type of encounters. Luckily, this group wasn’t a shy one and answers came flooding forward.

“Chlamydia”, “syphillis”, and “gonorrhea” were proffered. All good answers and affirmed as such.

“Mono” was suggested, the infection also going by the name of ‘mononucleosis’ or ‘glandular fever’ – the ‘kissing disease’. By our extremely wide definition of ‘sex’ (any behaviour that someone finds arousing) completely valid and a good opportunity to bring this in.

Illustration by Dr Emma Chan

Illustration by Dr Emma Chan

“HIV” was another suggestion, to me offered surprisingly late. Once seen as the sexually transmitted infection in the UK, hopefully this reflects a reduction in stigma and fear around this disease as treatment and prevention becomes so incredibly effective.

“Crabs” one pupil proffered - a nice segue in to talking about parasites. Another good talking point.

And then it came. The complete surprise.

“Blue waffle” one student called out.

This caught me by surprise a little. I had heard of this before, but only come across it in training and never actually in the classroom before.

If you haven’t come across it before, blue waffle is a fictional STI. It was something that Amelia and Hazel, School of Sexuality Education’s founders, remembered from their own school days, and had come across when talking to children in their research. The story doing the rounds at the time was that blue waffle was a disease contracted by women who had had a large number of sexual partners. Sometimes the ‘main’ blue waffle image is just shared around for shock.

At the time a google image search would return pictures of vulvas covered in lesions - very nasty looking lumps and bumps. To my clinical eye, some of the images looked to be lesions caused by genital warts. Others, including the ‘main’ picture, looked like erosion and growths caused by vulval cancers.

There are also fake-medical webpages dedicated to “blue waffles disease”.

Interestingly (and perhaps not surprisingly) the rumour ran that it was transmitted to people with vulvas and did not trouble penises at all. Even though this is how the disease was said to be spread. Turns out misogyny can be a powerful vehicle for keeping a lie alive – who’d have thought it!

This turned out to be the case for the young person who had introduced it in to the classroom in this instance. He was quite resistant to my telling him that it was a made-up thing.

“But Miss, if you look on Google, there are pictures!”

I tried to gently unpack this, explaining what I thought these images were actually of. It was a nice opportunity for a discussion about being critical of sources, particularly those on the internet. However, I left with the distinct impression that I had only created an aura of doubt in this person’s mind. I had not completely convinced him it was a total urban myth and an element of belief in blue waffle remained.

Our book ‘Sex Ed: An Inclusive Teenage Guide to Sex and Relationships’​ ​ is out​ ​now.

Why education that promotes equality and diversity should not be up for debate

School of Sexuality Education has published a response to the no outsiders protests and why education must be inclusive of all - available here.

Elmer by David McKee is one of the No Outsiders books.

Elmer by David McKee is one of the No Outsiders books.

Debate has recently been raised as to whether or not education should be LGBTQIA+ inclusive at all ages. This has been in response to the No Outsiders programme, a scheme of work developed by teacher Andrew Moffat for primary schools.

In fact, to describe the protests as being in response to LGBT inclusive education for primary school children is almost a bit of an overstatement. The No Outsiders programme centres around a series of lovely children’s books that promote equal rights regardless of race, religion, gender or sexual orientation, including And Tango Make Three by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell, and Odd Dog Out by Rob Biddulph. In reality, what is being challenged are children learning messages like, “did you know we are all different, and that’s a good thing” or, “by the way there are families that exist where there are two dads”.

The rhetoric surrounding the challenges to the No Outsiders programme has been strongly reflective of Section 28, which banned the so-called ‘promotion’ of homosexuality in schools. Although it was repealed in 2003, its legacy remains, resulting in the attitudes we have seen here.


School of Sexuality Education provides LGBTQ+ inclusive sex and relationships education workshops for secondary schools, youth groups and universities, and training for staff. If you would like to work with us please get in touch.

Thank you to our volunteer Eve Pardoe for designing this piece.

Our book ‘Sex Ed: An Inclusive Teenage Guide to Sex and Relationships’​ ​ is out​ ​now.

Banning porn won’t work. So how can we best support young people’s digital intimacies?

WRITTEN BY PROFESSOR JESSICA RINGROSE AND THE School of Sexuality Education TEAM. originally published on the institute of education blog.

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In recent weeks, conversation has been reignited around the UK’s porn block for under 18s. The plan to prevent teens from accessing porn has been long delayed, but the government recently reiterated that it is soon to come into effect.

Concerns have focused primarily on privacy: there is a particular danger that data breaches and data mining could occur because users will have to submit identity data so their age can be verified. The dilemmas for children and their parents and carers are vast.

But many experts who advocate for young people’s online rights and digital literacy do not believe that simply banning porn or mobile technologies will solve anything. Rather – in an age of widespread data mining, fake news and disinformation – we must ensure that digital literacy is the fourth pillar of education, alongside reading, writing and maths. We need to cultivate a well-informed citizenry that can navigate cyberspace. Protection from digital harm must be balanced with providing educational opportunities. And because young people also have rights to sexual health and information about their bodies, digital rights and sexual rights need to be considered in tandem.

Why the ‘don’t do it’ message won’t work

The failure to prioritise how the digital intersects with sexuality education was made particularly apparent in the recently updated government guidance for schools on Relationships, Sex and Health Education. As Jessica Ringrose explained on the IOE blog, the guidance fails to address important digital topics in enough depth or detail, even though porn is often one of young people’s main sex educators.

The two references to porn in the new guidance are: “that specifically sexually explicit material e.g. pornography presents a distorted picture of sexual behaviours, can damage the way people see themselves in relation to others and negatively affect how they behave towards sexual partners” (page 28); and that secondary school pupils should know the law around pornography (page 30). There are no links provided to in-depth lesson plans, policies or explanations to help teachers cover this topic, or information about why it is important to do so. Similarly sexting is only mentioned once to highlight that it is illegal under the age of 18. This is a worrying omission considering the depth and complexities of youth sexting.

So how are young people to learn about navigating digital intimacy, which is nowadays an everyday extension or antecedent to ‘in person’ sexual activity? How will they learn about sexual safety, respect and consent in the digital domain?

It is difficult to see how banning or limiting children’s access to certain technologies or digital spaces can answer these tough questions. Banning technology will not promote young people’s welfare when it is not paired with high quality education. Rather, the porn block seems more like a tokenistic tick-box exercise to appease groups who take a sex-adverse stance. But it is one that leaves young people at even greater risk than before.

Indeed, it is acknowledged that banning access to mainstream porn sites will not entirely restrict young people’s access to pornographic content, which is readily available on Instagram, YouTube, Snapchat and Google images.

The ‘don’t do it’ rhetoric surrounding teen digital intimacies can also be sex-negative. Stigmatising narratives can shut down much-need open and honest dialogue, and prevents people from reaching out when they need support, for fear of being shamed or blamed.

Sex-positive porn lessons

In partnership with expert advisor Professor Jessica Ringrose, School of Sexuality Education is working to tackle these issues. We work with a range of secondary school students who consume porn for a huge variety of reasons. Porn can sometimes provide much-needed reassurance that they are not alone in feelings, desires or identity – particularly for students who are not heterosexual. There is no denying that there are highly problematic tropes in much mainstream porn but the focus on banning access is overshadowing conversations around tackling this through effective education, through critical engagement and open discussion. Safeguarding young people’s rights and well-being requires in-depth exploration of these topics in age appropriate ways which is informed by up to the minute research.

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Our lessons prioritise enabling young people to critically engage with topics like sexting, image based abuse and pornography. In each case the priority is placed on helping children with moral reasoning, ethical decision-making; and to advocate for their own and each other’s rights. Putting this into practise means understanding sexual consent, how it plays out in digital spaces, the signs of a respectful relationship, the role of bystanders and how systems of power operate in our society. This framework must be applied to explicit and relevant examples, rather than vague analogies or metaphors.

Our ‘porn lesson’ is tailored to help young people understand consent in real relationships in their own specific contexts and supports them to deal directly with questions and concerns in ways that unpack nervousness and anxiety. Discussions examine why porn is so popular and ask students to consider the economy of porn rather than something decontextualized that people simply consume online.

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We also discuss much of porn’s orientation towards fast masturbation and prioritizing male desire in ways that can neglect consent and the needs and desires of others.

Let’s give young people the educational tools to navigate sexuality rather than relying on banning technology or digital content­ – a tactic that won’t work anyway. By carefully tackling taboo topics with young people, School of Sexuality Education’s approach has had meaningful impact on many young people’s lives. These research-informed lesson plans can help young people explore and develop their sexuality in a way that is safe, healthy, and shame-free.

Illustrations by Evie Karkera, unless otherwise credited.

Our book ‘Sex Ed: An Inclusive Teenage Guide to Sex and Relationships’​ ​ is out​ ​now.

Our response to the statutory RSE guidance

From September 2020, Relationships and Sex Education (RSE) and Health Education will be compulsory in all UK secondary schools, whilst relationships and health education will be compulsory in primary schools.

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In light of this, the guidance on these subjects is being updated for the first time since 2000. On 25th February 2019 the government released a second draft version of the guidance. This followed a public consultation last year on the initial draft.

At School of Sexuality Education we have published a detailed response to this new draft - available here.

We have laid out the positive changes, but also how this guidance can be used and built upon to ensure we bring SRE into the 21st century with inclusive and comprehensive provision for all.

You can read the new guidance here.

Thank you to our volunteer Eve Pardoe for designing this document.

Illustrations use in this blog are by Evie Karkera, unless otherwise credited.

Our book ‘Sex Ed: An Inclusive Teenage Guide to Sex and Relationships’​ ​ is out​ ​now.

Perspectives for an Inclusive Sex Ed

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Ahead of the close of the Government consultation on the new draft RSE Guidance, School of Sexuality Education decided to hold an event to provide a space to hear perspectives that have historically been marginalised from mainstream SRE.

We had a host of amazing speakers covering a huge range of topics, including sexual pleasure, queer identity in education and negative masculinity. The speakers and audience included young people, campaigners, activists, teachers, academics and social entrepreneurs.

At School of Sexuality Education we feel passionately that all young people should have equal access to a high quality, inclusive and relevant Sex and Relationships Education. The issues and themes raised during the conference were submitted as part of School of Sexuality Education’s response to the draft guidance.

If you didn’t manage to attend our conference, you can still…

You can also read Lucy Emmerson’s (Director of the Sex Education Forum) thoughts on the draft guidance in her article in School’s Week.

Thank you to everyone who came along to the event - watch this space for the next!

Illustrations by Evie Karkera, unless otherwise credited.

Our book ‘Sex Ed: An Inclusive Teenage Guide to Sex and Relationships’​ ​ is out​ ​now.